to just give up trying to lose weight?

[Mummypig32]

to give up trying to lose weight?

I'm 5ft 4, 13 stone 3, and a size 14-16/18 on bottom. I'm 35.

I have spent my entire life trying to be slimmer. I'd say weight loss and dieting has been my main focus most of my life. Despite this I've spent very little of my life at a slimmer size...its always fairly brief and despite occasionally getting down to a size 10-12 I've never, as an adult, been in the healthy bmi range, ever.

I am just SO SICK of this shit. I've tried everything...literally everything. I feel like I'm wasting my life away on something that might never even happen for me. I think because now I'm in my 30s and I no longer feel like either have my whole life ahead of me, I've started feeling like I'm just wasting time and I would be better off enjoying my life.

But. Am I happy? No. I'm not happy at this size, but maybe I should be? Maybe I should focus on not gaining any more, and just focus on trying to look nice in the size I am?

I never buy clothes or do anything with my appearance because I'm always thinking "theres no point because I'm going to lose weight soon and then when I'm a size 10 I'll buy myself a whole new wardrobe and have a glow up and be amazing". We'll it never happens so I just go about looking like a slob!

I dunno. I just feel like my youth is nearly over, I've spent most of it either dieting or binging, hating my appearance hating how I look in clothes, wanting to be different and look a different way and where has it got me??? No where. I've just wasted time. I don't look any different. I'm just sad.

Then again. Maybe if I give up I'll get heart disease and die early, which I also don't want. There is that 🤔

AIBU to just accept I'll always be a bit fat, and live with it?

YANBU. I’m not saying go and get a takeaway every night, but maybe switch your focus to what makes you feel good? Move your body in ways you enjoy, eat what makes you feel good (physically and mentally), buy yourself some nice clothes and celebrate the body you’re in.

Don't give up, you are only 35...being so overweight will take it's toll on your body. I have always struggled too. Lost a lot of weight in my early 20's, then put it all back again and more after having kids, I was 5 3' and a size 14/16 during/after lockdown. I finally started to do keto and 6 months after, low carb. I am down to a size 10 and now is just a case of maintaining...I got to my 40's feeling better than in my 30's , so I am making an effort to not go back to my old eating habits that being said I was never a big eater, it was more of my eating choices coupled with the fact that I put weight on really easily. You'll learn to know your body and what works for you. Good luck.

focus On what makes you feel good. ‘Diets’ are unsustainable. Focus on adjusting your overall lifestyle, eg building activity into your day, plenty of fruit, veg, seeds, whole meal carbs etc, limited sugar.

I wouldn't give up, 35 is still so young.

I used to "treat myself" all the time but I incorporated a treat day instead. If you have a treat day to look forward to, you can focus on that instead of every day being a "treat day".

It goes without saying but drinking water really is good for you and fills you up.

I also overhauled my wardrobe. I didn't necessarily buy anything new but I threw out the most depressing clothes in my wardrobe and made a point of always having clean brushed hair and painted nails and toes. I cleared all the rubbish out of my handbags, washed my coat and cleaned my shoes because those sorts of details don't cost anything but they are acts of taking care of yourself and that makes you feel more worth bothering with yourself. It's all linked.

I learned that dieting just isn’t for me, I love my food too much and hate feeling restricted. It just made me want to eat more. The only thing that worked for me was upping my exercise. I started with Couch to 5K, downloaded the app, and honestly it starts you off so slow, you don’t realise how well you’re doing until suddenly you’re running for 20mins without stopping! And then 30 mins. And then I signed up for a 10K and lots of people sponsored me so I had to train, and I just kept going. I still eat lovely food! But the weight came off.

I am 37 this year and felt like giving up but I am going to sign back up to the gym and do spin classes which I used to love. Rather than diet I am going to focus on making healthier choices but still enjoy the food I love in moderation. I need to make it sustainable long term. I am hoping adding exercise I enjoy will help and I can finally lose some weight.

Yes! Sack it off and buy yourself some clothes that make you feel fabulous.

Buying clothes you love in a size that fits you now is so lifechangingly awesome.

Ditch all clothes that don't fit you, clothes you don't actually like start afresh.

I find that my weight fluctuates less when I do gym classes with weight training pump/ conditioning etc but I do it because it makes me feel good and stops my back hurting so much. Lots of my friends do skating/ aerial hoop/ hula hooping/ pole dancing / regular dancing and swimming for fun and as a side effect get fitter. Ditching toxic diet culture and restrict/ binge cycles is so liberating.

Just wear what makes you feel good, move your body in a way that makes you feel good and abandon any notion of cheat meals/ treats/ earned things.

I hear you.

Tell us why you fail OP.

I'm not being horrible. What are your reasons for not managing to lose weight?

Me too op

Yes give up, focus on things you love and enjoy. It sounds like thoughts of weight loss and self dislike are dominating. Sod it enjoy yourself x

The reason i ask is because it can be very hard to pin down the reason why you can't lose weight.

But i believe that until you pin it down you can't put it right.

wish I had an answer. I’m a little older than you and I’ve finally cracked the code (keto + lots and lots of work stress!!) and I feel more attractive and fit but happier? Not really.

You need to tell us exactly what you are eating, and we'll tell you what to cut in order for you to lose weight.

Sorry, no advice but just wanted to say I literally could have written this word for word. I'm here in solidarity

Yes I would absolutely give up. Find ways to be the healthiest you can at your size and forget about losing weight. Get on Instagram and follow some body positive models - there are loads. You only have one life, it's not worth making weight loss the centre of it.

Have you read about Ozempic? Seems to be the new miracle weight loss jab everyone is talking about, and it actually works. I'm pregnant, due in 5 weeks and so can't take the jabs for a while whilst I'm breastfeeding unfortunately.

However I plan on buying them as soon as I'm able, as I'm so fucking fed up of my weight being a constant battle every day of my life.

You need a complete lifestyle change in order to lose weight. Speaking as someone who has lost 7stone and kept it off.
I was the same as you. Tried every diet. Lost weight. Then gained it back. Tried again and repeat.

It wasn’t until I stopped focusing on a diet and actually got properly in to fitness that things really changed.
Now I eat to fuel my body for health and I exercise for the same reasons. I am not the same person as I was before and honestly I’m glad. I feel SO much better. In my skin. In my mind. I feel healthy.
You can do it. But it takes a lot of effort to change that mindset

I think you should give up on trying to lose weight. Focus instead on being as healthy as possible and trying to become fitter.

Have you considered therapy to discover why you are self sabotaging? It can sometimes be traced back to childhood views/habits around food which have persisted into adulthood.

I’m similar but a wee bit older. 38, 5ft5, was 13st4lbs when I joined slimming world last year. I didn’t want to be 40 and still overweight/obese.
I definitely think you need to stop dieting. You need to learn to love the body you are in, buy the nice clothes, wear the bikini. Learn to really love and appreciate how wonderful it is.
and then, when you’ve learnt to stop hating your body, and you learn to love it then you will want to take care of it and then you can focus on more healthy living, making good food choices, having regular exercise, and then you will find you body looking even better. But it has to come from a place a love and wanting to be better, than hate and just wanting rid.

Yes! And all that energy you've put into trying to control your eating, focus it instead on a radical acceptance of how things are for you. No, it's not easy, but you can choose where to put your time and energy. And find your outrage at how women (in particular) are judged for how they look and what they eat and what they wear. Have a look for Isabel Foxen Duke, she explains it really well.

💪

I'm 45 and have yoyo dieted for years. I've been fat, thin and everything in between. January came and I was 17 stone 11 - It was the shock I needed to get my arse into gear.

I have just followed a calorie deficit. It has honestly transformed the way I think about food. I deny myself absolutely fuck all, as long as I keep within my deficit and reach my daily protein intake.

There is so much helpful content on tiktok. I follow loads of people.

I started doing the Leslie sansone walking workouts on YouTube, which are very low impact but great for getting into doing something. I've moved on to a little more intense workouts and I do half an hour ever morning without fail. Unless I have a hangover lol. I get up early so it's done and out the way.

I've dropped just over 2 stone so far and I feel so much better already.

But you don't even have to do exercise to drop weight with a calorie deficit.

It has honestly changed my outlook on food.

You should definitely enjoy yourself right now this instant, and be proud of your body.

Whether you choose to also try to lose weight is up to you. But living with a 'I'll enjoy myself when I'm 9 stone' mentality is crap.

Healthy food and exercise make you feel good, diets don't. Can you find a way to forget about your size and think about health and how you feel instead?

I'm 41 and 5ft 6". A year ago I weighed just shy of 15st (size 16-18)
I had tried all the diets. I tried walks. I tried swimming every week. I tried everything. It was shit. I'd lose weight but then stop losing anything at all unless I dropped more calories. In the end I would have been on a single sodding Apple a day!
I decided to stop and say fuck it. I'm fat.

Then I got a part time job that required me being active and walking 10K steps in my 6hr shifts 4 days a week.

I didn't notice my weight going down but every now and then could see the inches disappearing. It's taken a year and I'm 13st 1lb as of this morning. It's been slow. So, so slow but at least I know it's unlikely to come back on. I lost weight by giving up dieting. I've rarely not got a bag of sweeties nearby. I love a takeaway too. Id say probably once or twice a week!

Joining a gym and starving yourself is all well and good and can work, but exercising without knowing/feeling like you're exercising works and you don't hate it.

Have you tried low carbing? Works for me because the weight loss is secondary, primarily my health, IBS are much better on a diet that has no processed carbs and lots of veg and water.