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Original poster

School coming to home to view sick child - Normal?

719 replies

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 10:59

I'm feeling really sensitive right now due to work stress so please be kind.

My 5 year old is off with chicken pox right now. He got the spots on Sunday, he's been quite poorly with it Monday - Tuesday, very sleepy, then very uncomfortable Weds waiting for the scabs to form. He's just started to feel better today but the school have an INSET day tomorrow anyway.

We just had a knock at the door, and it was a teacher from DS's school! He was very reluctant to come downstairs because he's only in his pants and thought the teacher was there to take him to school. She was very nice and said it's sad that they have to do this in this day and age but it's completely normal and they do it for everyone who's been off this length of time.

He's been off for 4 days? His older sister is at school so we've still done the school run every day. To be fair as it's an inset day tomorrow it will be over a week by the time he goes back on Monday. But I've never had a teacher come unannounced to our house to check on our child. Can someone reassure me it is actually normal and they don't think something bad of us! My poor boy is just ill. I've called him in and updated, updated again this morning saying he would be back on Monday!

OP posts:
Original poster
CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 12:09

JanetheObscure · 16/03/2023 11:58

I'm a primary school governor. Our staff definitely don't do this, but if its a whole school policy, then it's likely to be because they are concerned about whole school attendance. As you've realised, it's not personal to you.

Must say that I'm amazed that the policy hasn't been explained to parents and it really should be on the website.

I think it would be nice to be explained too. At least I would have expected it and not been upset and worried.

OP posts:
Paternosta · 16/03/2023 12:09

My 14 yo daughter was sent home from school just before half term for fainting in class and had 3 days off. She then was off with a relapse of the same thing the Monday they went back. So that's 4 days 'in a row'

We got a visit just to check on her as well. Not unusual.

Anonymouslyposting · 16/03/2023 12:10

I’ve never heard of a teacher doing this so I’d say it’s not normal.

That said, I think it’s great, if the school has the time and resources to check on kids who have been missing from class that could help catch the very rare cases where something concerning is going on.

Justalittlebitduckling · 16/03/2023 12:10

This really shouldn’t be part of a teacher’s job. They’re not social workers. Kids get chicken pox! Hope he’s feeling better soon.

ChocSaltyBalls · 16/03/2023 12:10

Loving all the “complain” posts. About what? That they are trying to safeguard and protect children?

strikes me schools can’t win, whatever they do someone will think it’s wrong and moan about it.

TwoHedgehogs · 16/03/2023 12:11

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 12:04

Indeed - she was very nice on the phone and did say "he looked really poorly bless him" - luckily for me yes, he had chicken pox so his illness is very visible!

Show quote history

So what if your child doesn't "look" poorly? What then? I don't understand how a teacher calling makes any difference, they aren't a doctor, your child could appear well stood there having just had some calpol or other medicine. What does it prove? A silly policy I'd not be happy with.

Lovelyveg82 · 16/03/2023 12:11

WhereIsMyRefund · 16/03/2023 12:04

I am surprised teachers have time for this kind of stuff.

They do not

Unless very very concerned

WinterMusings · 16/03/2023 12:11

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 11:43

Ah okay sorry I feel really bad now. Just got a call from the school after my message and they've explained it's whole school policy and my DS was about the 4th child she had seen that day!

I feel really guilty now, and as suspected I think my work stress had riled me up and made me feel quite defensive. No harm done though Smile

Thanks for all of your replies though, they really did talk me down.

@CandlelightGlow

what exactly is the school policy?

No way would I be getting my sick child down to the front door to be paraded in front of someone from school for no good reason.

yes, some children need 'safeguarding' but a child with chicken pox, whose parents is taking siblings in daily & has had only a couple of days off sick previously isn't one of those children.

there has to be a balance between school safeguarding & parents being the child's parents!

just because they ignore safeguarding reports they can't 'make up for it' by doing shit like this.

I wouldn't feel bad, I'd be writing to the school governors to complain about the overly heavy handed way they dealt with this.

premicrois · 16/03/2023 12:11

There was an awful case of a child in London who didn't come into school for a week I think it was ? His poor mother had collapsed and sadly died and he was trapped in the flat with her. The school tried to visit to see if the child was okay but couldn't get into the block of flats. The child was found dead. It's rare but it does happen and lots of schools have changed their safeguarding policies to reflect the need to see a child if there are unexplained absences.

The absence was explained though. Common sense should prevail, OP hasn't died and school knew OP hadn't died so safeguarding based on this tragic situation isn't really relevant.

JazbayGrapes · 16/03/2023 12:12

There was a news piece a few weeks ago about a school that had a teacher and an attendance officer basically driving to houses of children that were off and taking them to school on a mini bus if they were miraculously better. It probably depends on the individual schools policy!

What if you just don't open doors? Nobody home. Maybe needed to go to hospital or anything.

premicrois · 16/03/2023 12:13

There was a news piece a few weeks ago about a school that had a teacher and an attendance officer basically driving to houses of children that were off and taking them to school on a mini bus if they were miraculously better. It probably depends on the individual schools policy!

Hell would freeze over before the decision to take my DC to school was removed from me. Fuck that.

Train007 · 16/03/2023 12:13

Absolutely wrong and intrusive! Never had that with any of my children.

Lovelyveg82 · 16/03/2023 12:13

The school policy will be so documented

what does it say?

do you have any friends with children at the school you can ask if they’ve ever heard of this happening

SchoolTripDrama · 16/03/2023 12:13

@Maybebabyno2 'Reduculous?!' 😆😆😆

TheOrigRights · 16/03/2023 12:14

She was very nice and said it's sad that they have to do this in this day and age but it's completely normal and they do it for everyone who's been off this length of time

I would have found this reassuring, but would have then been straight onto the school website to find the school rules where the policy is detailed and if I couldn't find it would then ask the school. I would want to know what triggers a visit from a teacher. It is just a certain number of days, or are there other factors?

User4891 · 16/03/2023 12:14

I do think it's important that for children living in abusive households school can be an enormous protective factor both because it provides a safe space for them and because it means that a professional who knows them well and cares about them is casting eyes on them daily. I do think schools can be a bit naff about attendence but I also think it's unfair to say it's only about their figures or that they should keep their nose out. A child has a right to education and a right to be protected from harm and school are a huge part of ensuring that they are given these rights. I work in healthcare and persistent absence and to a degree homeschooling would be a bit of a red flag to me for this reason. (Before anyone comes to get me I'm not saying homeschooling is inherently bad but that it does mean that this child isn't being regularly interacted with by a professional trained in safeguarding)

I have no idea why they sent someone round for OP and am by no means suggesting that she's abusive. I'm just saying it isn't necessarily 'wrong' that school did this welfare check either. If I was OP I would be calling school and politely but firmly asking them to be transparent about why they felt the need to send someone over

Cakeandcoffee93 · 16/03/2023 12:15

That’s very weird- I would be questioning the teacher tbh

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 16/03/2023 12:15

I’ve worked in several schools with this policy.

Generally it’s because there are children in the school who need to be welfare checked when they are off. It can cause ructions (and can slip through the net) if they do it just specifically so those schools have a general policy.

A lot simply don’t have the staffing for it, even if it’s needed.

EarringsandLipstick · 16/03/2023 12:15

I initially didn't believe this post, having now RTFT & seen all the updates that this is actually very normal in many schools, I'm beyond amazed & would be really annoyed if this happened.

It's another inditement of the school system in the UK - I don't see it as a positive safeguarding measure. It's about attendance figures & more bureaucracy that isn't required.

(If there are concerns and an absence forms a pattern of worrying behaviour, that's clearly different and appropriate measures should be used. Clearly it didn't apply here).

I feel very glad that no such measures exist where I am - children's absences are reported on the day of each absence via the school app. The end.

LolaSmiles · 16/03/2023 12:15

At which point I would have asked for proof of her medical qualification. And then firmly closed the door.
Welfare visits aren't to make medical judgements.
If a parent wants to refuse to engage that's up to them, but I'd imagine the person who shuts the door and refuses to engage would also be the first to complain if the member of staff has to write up "home visit attempted. Parent refused to engage, demanded proof of medical qualification and closed the door. We did not see the child".

May09Bump
Agree with you that the visit purpose should have been clearly explained.

OP wouldn't have qualified for a visit in my recent schools, but when I did visits we'd always say who we were, where we were from and that we were doing a home visit as it's our policy and:
E.g we've not seen the child for Y days and it's policy to visit after Y days
E.g. X is absent and we've not got a reason for their absence
E.g X is absent again and their attendance is already, for example, 86%
Eg. this is X's 8th missed Friday this term and we've noticed a pattern, is there anything we can do in school to support.

Hopefully the school will clarify the policy with parents so it's clear what visits happen and why.

Lovelyveg82 · 16/03/2023 12:16

You have been at the school a few years now oP.

what is your relationship like with the school and how do you regard the school generally?

Tlittle · 16/03/2023 12:16

This happened to me once. I was pissed off but polite. Apparently it was a new thing as they had been to others homes they said. Never happened again though prob due to some parents kicking off about it.

Quercus30 · 16/03/2023 12:16

It's just a safeguarding thing. It's tough because you feel the school are judging you or are suspicious. However, and I know this is hard because of how you are feeling, but they are just putting children's safety first. At my school, when parents come to collect, if someone else picks up, I have to ask them for a password. I feel for grandma who may think I'm suspicious of her, but it's a blanket policy. Once I explain, they are v understanding and happy that we have a belt and braces approach to keep the children safe. I would imagine that the member of staff has been sent round as it's been more than so many days and hasn't talked to you sensitively about it. This has understandably left you feeling awful. I can assure you there will be little " judging" going on. Just an overworked teacher who is following the policy. It can be the best school in the world but if there is the slightest hint of safeguarding policies not in place or being followed, it's a fail from ofsted. They have possibly had an issue before and have decided to take this approach. Hope this helps.

TheOrigRights · 16/03/2023 12:16

premicrois · 16/03/2023 12:13

There was a news piece a few weeks ago about a school that had a teacher and an attendance officer basically driving to houses of children that were off and taking them to school on a mini bus if they were miraculously better. It probably depends on the individual schools policy!

Hell would freeze over before the decision to take my DC to school was removed from me. Fuck that.

I assume that you are not keeping your children off school when they are perfectly able to attend then. I can't see how you would be able to argue with an attendance officer that you wanted to keep your healthy child off school. Not w/o triggering some subsequent action from the school any way.

rainbowstardrops · 16/03/2023 12:17

Well if it's a whole school policy then fair enough but parents should have been made aware of this!
I'd have been worried too and I think you did the right thing by contacting the school.
At my school, we have numerous children who are consistently late or absent and we worry about them. A policy like this would be great but a whole school policy would take ages to go round to all the absent kid's houses!