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Original poster

School coming to home to view sick child - Normal?

719 replies

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 10:59

I'm feeling really sensitive right now due to work stress so please be kind.

My 5 year old is off with chicken pox right now. He got the spots on Sunday, he's been quite poorly with it Monday - Tuesday, very sleepy, then very uncomfortable Weds waiting for the scabs to form. He's just started to feel better today but the school have an INSET day tomorrow anyway.

We just had a knock at the door, and it was a teacher from DS's school! He was very reluctant to come downstairs because he's only in his pants and thought the teacher was there to take him to school. She was very nice and said it's sad that they have to do this in this day and age but it's completely normal and they do it for everyone who's been off this length of time.

He's been off for 4 days? His older sister is at school so we've still done the school run every day. To be fair as it's an inset day tomorrow it will be over a week by the time he goes back on Monday. But I've never had a teacher come unannounced to our house to check on our child. Can someone reassure me it is actually normal and they don't think something bad of us! My poor boy is just ill. I've called him in and updated, updated again this morning saying he would be back on Monday!

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 16/03/2023 13:43

@Anonhopingforbaby I know it's Thursday but another poster said attendance is being tricky after COVID and WFH culture and I was commenting that the Friday absence is becoming much more common, and it isn't a one off due to a long weekend, it's because people can't be bothered to do the school run so a child could be regularly off on a Friday, which is a bit shit for their education

FictionalCharacter · 16/03/2023 13:43

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 11:43

Ah okay sorry I feel really bad now. Just got a call from the school after my message and they've explained it's whole school policy and my DS was about the 4th child she had seen that day!

I feel really guilty now, and as suspected I think my work stress had riled me up and made me feel quite defensive. No harm done though Smile

Thanks for all of your replies though, they really did talk me down.

All good then, but they really should put this policy on the school website and make parents aware of it. I’ve seen an awful lot of “it’s our policy” from schools and nurseries when there isn’t anything written down or notified to parents.

Mumofnarnia · 16/03/2023 13:45

Unless she is a qualified doctor or other clinician, I cannot see why they would need to ‘have eyes on him’! What is she going they going to do? Make a diagnosis based on an unqualified opinion. This sounds ridiculous to me.

Stemgenius · 16/03/2023 13:46

Saltywalruss · 16/03/2023 13:40

Hmmm so the school should really say that they start at 8.30!

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Yas. But the school won't change 😂

toomuchlaundry · 16/03/2023 13:46

For those saying they might not know who the person is at the door, I am assuming they should be wearing a specific lanyard, and you could always phone the school to check their identity.

NewNovember · 16/03/2023 13:47

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 11:11

I was actually in a meeting on Teams at the time, DS was very reluctant to go downstairs (as said, he wasn't dressed due to spots, and thought the teacher was there to take him to school so panicked).

My DP said he's here and fine but doesn't want to come down, teacher responded with "I need to have eyes on him"

WTAF. I'm devastated.

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No she didn't have to see him I don't know why you let her in tbh, just a simple no that's not appropriate goodbye would have sufficient but it's understandable you felt put on the spot.

toomuchlaundry · 16/03/2023 13:49

Surely the 'eyes on him' are to actually see the child, see if the child seems happy (although might be miserable with chicken pox), no visible bruising and comfortable with the person who is looking after them. Remember they are not really checking for a child with chicken pox they are looking for a potential vulnerable child

TortolaParadise · 16/03/2023 13:51

TheYearOfSmallThings · 16/03/2023 11:13

It definitely wouldn't happen around here (London).

True!

PositiveLife · 16/03/2023 13:52

They have this at my kid's secondary schools, although I don't know how often they actually do it. Any time dd has had a few days off at once, it's been something that has affected a lot of the kids so they've not actually come to check.

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 16/03/2023 13:52

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 11:11

I was actually in a meeting on Teams at the time, DS was very reluctant to go downstairs (as said, he wasn't dressed due to spots, and thought the teacher was there to take him to school so panicked).

My DP said he's here and fine but doesn't want to come down, teacher responded with "I need to have eyes on him"

WTAF. I'm devastated.

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That’s fucking weird and so intrusive. Is the school struggling with behaviour and attendance?

TuesdayJulyNever · 16/03/2023 13:53

@TwoHedgehogs there’s a huge difference between feeling irritated, inconvenienced and intruded upon and worrying that the school are judging you in particular.

I’d be irritated too but it’s a small price to pay for protecting a child who is being abused.

I’ve had both reactions at different times and one wasn’t from a place of a good mental health. It’s not always obvious when you’re tipping into anxiety and my query was meant in kindness.

Shinyandnew1 · 16/03/2023 13:53

Was it your child’s class teacher?

Dixiechickonhols · 16/03/2023 13:56

I wouldn’t want a poorly 12/13 yr old home alone opening door to a random with a lanyard on. Could be anyone.

It was Op’s dp who let them in. If he’d not been there and she was wfh on teams presume she wouldn’t have answered door. Then what would school done?
Mum working while poxed child in bed is fine.

LittleBlueBrioTrain · 16/03/2023 13:56

You've only got to look at cases like the murder of Arthur Labinjo-Hughes and how many opportunities were missed to safeguard him. For every 100 pupils that get a welfare check like this, there might be one that actually needs it

JudesBiggestFan · 16/03/2023 13:58

I honestly am baffled by this thread. If anyone wanted to pop in and check on my sick child they'd be more than welcome. It's exactly what schools should be doing if they have any concerns at all. How many children could have been saved from lives of misery and abuse if a schoolteacher had just checked in and spotted concerning behaviour. People get away with literal murder because of an unwillingness to intrude/lack of resource. I've no idea why they came to your house OP but as they'll have seen nothing concerning, hopefully it'll be the first and last time. I have no idea why you would have said the child wouldn't want to see them, surely that would obviously raise red flags if they did have concerns. Glad he came down.
In short...child protection comes first. And we should all be much more nosey, not less.

purpledalmation · 16/03/2023 14:00

I don't think this is the norm at all

Original poster
CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 14:01

TwoHedgehogs · 16/03/2023 13:29

Anxiety? She posted that she wasn't happy school called round out the blue to inspect her child who is off with chicken pox. If you read the majority of replied most people would not be pleased having to get a child up who is ill to "show" to the teacher. What has anxiety got to do with anything? I'm not anxious but would wonder why on earth school won't accept my explanation given when I phoned, it's like they don't believe you, this would get anyone's backs up.

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No it's fair, I do have anxiety! So coupled with a work error I certainly felt anxious and spiralled, it's actually why I posted to see if it was normal as my mind had immediately jumped to "it must not be normal".

However it turns out it wasn't that normal in a lot of areas and I do think my feelings are understandable even if the school are completely in the right and it is perfectly normal. This thread has helped me become much less rattled and I probably wouldn't have messaged the school without it, just sat and stewed! Definitely a me problem. I do have a rational head on me and when it comes to DC I'm usually fine and my need to be competent and protect them overrides my anxiety, this morning was a bit difficult for me though.

OP posts:
Sallydimebar · 16/03/2023 14:02

“Unless she is a qualified doctor or other clinician, I cannot see why they would need to ‘have eyes on him’! What is she going they going to do? Make a diagnosis based on an unqualified opinion. This sounds ridiculous to me.”

Don’t think you have to be doctor to see a child has chicken pots . An older child will tell them what’s wrong. A younger child who’s running around maybe could be in school but it’s a bigger picture then that . Point is if it’s a genuine course for absence there’s nothing to worry about .
Unfortunately there’s children who are kept off as parents can’t be bothered with school run or older child refuses to go in and help needed . Friend who is attendance officer is as qualified as a social worker.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 16/03/2023 14:02

Mumofnarnia · 16/03/2023 13:45

Unless she is a qualified doctor or other clinician, I cannot see why they would need to ‘have eyes on him’! What is she going they going to do? Make a diagnosis based on an unqualified opinion. This sounds ridiculous to me.

It’s not about diagnosing the illness

Silverbook · 16/03/2023 14:03

I’ve been a local authority teacher for 13 years and never experienced this out with where there have been child protection concerns.

amberedover · 16/03/2023 14:04

Today 12:2

This is why the OP needs to find out the school policy. You'd look a bit of a dick if you raise it as a safeguarding concern and then they 'refer you to rule 4 of the school rules'

CandlelightGlow · Today 11:39

Also I've been scouring their website and they have absolutely no information about sickness policy. The only statement in relation to absence is that they do not authorise leave in term time anymore.

Original poster
CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 14:04

JudesBiggestFan · 16/03/2023 13:58

I honestly am baffled by this thread. If anyone wanted to pop in and check on my sick child they'd be more than welcome. It's exactly what schools should be doing if they have any concerns at all. How many children could have been saved from lives of misery and abuse if a schoolteacher had just checked in and spotted concerning behaviour. People get away with literal murder because of an unwillingness to intrude/lack of resource. I've no idea why they came to your house OP but as they'll have seen nothing concerning, hopefully it'll be the first and last time. I have no idea why you would have said the child wouldn't want to see them, surely that would obviously raise red flags if they did have concerns. Glad he came down.
In short...child protection comes first. And we should all be much more nosey, not less.

I do understand this, I actually completely agree, it was more the feeling of being singled out and treated abnormally by the school, but the school have confirmed that's not the case at all so I feel completely fine about them checking Smile

I'm still a but ruffled on behalf of my son as I think for a 5 year old that might be quite a scary experience, being ill and feeling vulnerable and then a teacher coming to your home. But being honest that's probably more my projection, he's completely unperturbed now.

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 16/03/2023 14:04

I remember similar posts during lockdown when teachers were doing doorstep visits to see children, many outraged posters then who couldn't see the full picture.

Nanny0gg · 16/03/2023 14:05

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 11:11

I was actually in a meeting on Teams at the time, DS was very reluctant to go downstairs (as said, he wasn't dressed due to spots, and thought the teacher was there to take him to school so panicked).

My DP said he's here and fine but doesn't want to come down, teacher responded with "I need to have eyes on him"

WTAF. I'm devastated.

Show quote history

I know it would have caused more repercussions, but I'd have told her what to do with her 'need'

She's a teacher, not the police or SS

Welshrainbow · 16/03/2023 14:10

This is the new policy for everyone at my DS school. They sent a letter last week, it is the same for the whole school anyone absent more than three days gets a home visit. I work at a secondary school and we also do home visits if attendance drops below a certain level. It is the same for all students and nothing to do with any other concerns. Don’t worry about it OP.