To just want to go home now?

[Angliski]

I’ve been in hospital nearly 100 days. I was dragged under a car and broke my back sustaining lots of fractures and a spinal cord injury. Some of you may remember my early posts.

im now in rehab hospital ward. Been here eight weeks. I’m desperate to go home. I have a 3 year old ds who is really starting to struggle with my absence, a business that is limping on without me where I employ a number of women and a home and DH that need my love and care. I cry from homesickness every day. I’ve learned to walk with crutches but still need a lot of physio etc to get me to anything like my precious abilities.

this is a residential ward and I’m lucky to be here. It’s nhs. But…. There’s only 2 hours of physio a week. The best bit is the hydro pool which I get one supervised session in but can use daily on my own to practice walking and strengthening the paralysed parts of me. It’s very slow moving here and very medicalised. I want to go home and arrange my own physio and hydro appointments and be there for my boy again.

they would happily see me stay here for another month. I don’t think I can stand it, mentally. I’ve come a long way from the crushed mamma on the bed and I desperately want my life and privacy back. I don’t want to jeopardise my recovery and I know it will be harder in some ways at home. I’m scared of that too!

not to drip feed, because the accident was not my fault I am likely, but not certain, to get help with expenses of my recovery, including private support for getting better.

has anyone been in this situation? What did you do? I have found a specialist neuro physio in my town and I think I can do exercise and hydro at my local gym.

AIBU?

Y YABU stay out where you have a care plan already in place
B YANBU to want to go home and make a plan from there.

I remember your post when it happened. I'm so glad you are doing well. It sounds like you really are on the home straight now, quite literally. Stick with it, they will not want to keep you any longer than they necessary, and a few more weeks invested in your recovery now will have rewards in the future.

OP I've no useful advice for you but just wanted you to know you've stuck in my head all day and I'm sending massive positive vibes into the universe for you. You are amazing x

The ms everyone for taking the time to reply. I am interested to hear the thoughts and opinions from you all and curious to listen to those of the team tomorrow. I am open to having my mind changed and I’m under no illusion that life will be perfect at home… so let’s see what they say. I will report back. I’m not really midway as someone else mentioned , I’m quite far along but of course I have more work to do. For me it’s not so I do the work but WHERE can I best do the work.

I would stay but is there anyway you could have home visits for nice long chunk say 4 hours of day?
Or is it possible to even go out to lunch with your family if you take wheel chair etc?
If you could start easing back to feeling more independent it might help to get through the last few months where the gains you make in rehab could be really important?
However I can only imagine how hard it must be not to just go home.

@ilovebagpuss it doesn’t cut it. I go home at weekends - home is two hours away- or DH and Ds come up. Bit it’s been nearly 4 months and my heart breaks when I leave.

have you been in contact with the people at home that would need to be set up to help. thr trouble is often these things take such a f slog to sort out. and its easier if you have the hospitals support in this as they can contact direct and get it sorted. whereas if you just went home now id fear youd be waiting a bloody month to get things in place.
i think you need to no that when you get home things will be set up and start from the get go. with your injuries and needs any delay could set you back years.
i new my body went to shit after one missed set of exercises or one missed session. literally the recovering body needs to keep those movement and exrecises done to the prescribed time and amount.

what does your husband think about it. as like it or not this is going to be on him too.

have the hospital actually saif they think you should stay or are you just needing to go home but havent discussed this yet with them.

I so hope you have a useful meeting today .
I can picture the kind of place you're in ,I've visited elderly people in what sounds like v similar set ups .
People like to believe that with limited resources the NHS will make careful and considered choices about who has access to them and uses them .Ha ha .Dream on .That would involve joined up thinking which often just doesn't happen.
If it's not going to affect your claim yes go home .You will do so much better .

Good luck with your meeting @Angliski Please update us with progress!
I have had good news today. I had an email from my solicitor saying that he has finally received the interim payment to fund surgery that I was first recommended to have in January 2021 so I am psyching myself up to call the surgeon. Excited but nervous! I hope it's a great day for you too and you make a positive move towards recovery.

@MrsAvocet thst so excellent news! A big step forward and a big relief i bet.

I just got told that the other side are finding an interim payment for rehab. Big relief.

Thank you! I'm just waiting for a call back. I'm hoping they can do it very soon as I will need to be non weight bearing for quite a long time afterwards and I don't really want to spend the whole Summer in plaster and unable to go on holiday etc - it's not fair on the rest of my family who have had to miss out on enough in recent years as it is. Fingers crossed!
Pleased for you too. Hopefully this will mean you can get your private therapies sorted out and then get home. It's sad that we can't rely on the NHS for our care but unfortunately the fact of the matter is that the system is overloaded and waits are too long when time is critical to your recovery. My original NHS physio was lovely and I thought she was very good but she just doesn't have enough time to give individual patients as much as they need. Try to make sure you get funded for mental health support too, as a good therapist or counsellor can make a massive difference to your recovery in my experience. Good luck!

Good news! I can leave with their blessing next Friday!!!physio said of course I will continue to progress both in house or out in the world. We all recognised the ease of having it all under one roof, but also that home and family are also critical factors. They’re happy with me medically and believe I can be safe in my home and progress under private care…. They’ve made all the referrals so I can goooooo!!!

Great news!! You must be so happy.

Fabulous !!! So pleased for you.You've been through so much ,you so need to at least be able to get home .
Well done

solicitors in this field are ambulance chasers. They get a cut. You opting to go private benefits him because he gets a cut.

Ask him what happens if you lose. Also clarify the difference between transferring to private care versus discharging to manage at home.

Personally I would stay. You’ve said already you would be reliant on others. That isn’t reasonable or sustainable. Just get it done. The fact that you’re saying things like not even allowed a massage - maybe because you shouldn’t be?

Fantastic news

@niugboo do you have a spinal cord injury? If you do you’ll know rehab is never ‘done’. You don’t get it ‘done’. You fight tooth and nail for every bit of movement you have. I am moving my rehab home, i am not stopping getting it done. I can bathe myself and my child, cook, play, in what way am I ‘reliant’ that’s different to someone elderly or in a wheelchair- don’t they have the right to be at home if they can?

they told me today that as they are so short staffed, hydro is about to go down to one session a fortnight. I can do one session a fortnight at home.

im not getting into ‘cuts’ etc. I hired a top lawyer because this is a very complex claim, involving business continuity loss, a complex injury and a number of other factors. The solicitor gets paid by the other side when the claim is settled. What’s wrong with getting paid? And actually the rehab code, under which I receive this funding, has nothing to do with the Solictors. The insurers pay it so that they can hopefully minimise what they eventually pay out on my injuries. The better I get now the less they have to cough up.

Absolutely brilliant news! Bet you are thrilled! Well done advocating for yourself x

No I don’t but I have a child with a condition that causes mobility issues requiring regular admissions for rehabilitation. I’m well aware it’s never done. And I’m also aware that ignoring medical advice doesn’t bode well.

Your solicitor getting paid when the other side settles is exactly what I’m talking about. The higher your costs the higher the pay out and the more he gets. It’s that straightforward. I’ve been down this road with a complex injury and a painfully aware of how difficult these claims are.

if the rehab has nothing to do with the claim I’m not sure why you’re original point referenced being paid out to cover costs.

Congratulations Angliski !
I hope you go from strength to strength

And I’m also aware that ignoring medical advice doesn’t bode well.
But the OP isn't ignoring medical advice is she? She attended the MDT meeting, explained what she wanted to do and got the ok to go home in a week. Presumably the clinicians in the team think that is an appropriate time frame to get care in place. She hasn't just packed her bags and left against medical advice.
Good luck @Angliski I really hope things start looking up for you.

Great news, the time will fly now you have an end date. You and your family must be so happy today.

I haven't read all the comments so I'm sorry if this has already been mentioned. I work within the life changing injuries field. Mainly with people who have limb loss or brain injuries. There are specialist companies that work with your solicitor sorting interim payments while waiting for the court case (which normally takes years as long term needs can't be assessed quickly). Look at getting yourself a good case manager and they help you sort mental health support, physio, rehab assistants etc they pretty much get you through the next few years until your claim is settled. Good luck

It's relatively easy to show tge weather wasn't to as stated, OP, there are public records and in any case its still his fault.

Your solicitor should be pushing for an initial payment for you in keiunof full settlement. Talk to her/him about that.

Def get social services involved now whilst your in hospital to adapt the house for you. I promise tgeur workers are nit generally the best but tgey will at least put things in place for you at the local authorities cost, which should be recovered from the third party IMO. Once dates are in tge diary for work to be completed you can safely move out.

My DN friend was Hut head on by a car over taking at high speed on a blind bend. They thought she'd die, this beautiful 20 year old young girl. She was awarded £1m because its left her with a life long impacts including a limp, scarring, ptsd etc.

Wishing you good luck xxx

Hi @minidancer thanks- I do have a case manager and w e just heard today that we will get an interim payment so she can start work. I’ve had to source for myself initially as other side were prevaricating but they have now agreed with INA and will participate in rehab code. The amount will fund physios, hydro, taxi, mental health trauma support and a house help for the next few months. I totally would not have been looking to discharge if this support wasn’t available so I’m grateful they have now confirmed it as it’s peace of mind and great to have case manager do sourcing and payment etc etc

That's great news, it's someone fighting in your corner! Everything now is a license to print money though, they just think the insurance will pay so just be aware of that. All costs get escalated. It's quite depressing to see but I guess it's business. I hope you are back with your family soon