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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a red flag?

83 replies

namechange3388 · 15/03/2023 00:29

New bloke likes to knock stuff over if he gets slightly angry or feels under pressure or put out.

For example, if we're walking along and discussing something and he sees a plant pot on a wall, he'll tip it so it falls. Or push bin bags over so they block a path. Or tip newspapers off stands in a shop.

It's like a pouty petulance. Just arsehole behaviour I think. Never seen anything like ie before.

He's a nutter, isn't he?

Or AIBU

OP posts:
Msloverlover · 15/03/2023 07:17

That’s actually scary that he thinks he can behave like that in public. What does he think he is entitled to do in private if that’s the case?

TenoringBehind · 15/03/2023 07:29

This behaviour is more than a red flag. He sounds genuinely terrifying. Run for the hills!

SpringIntoChaos · 15/03/2023 07:47

What did you say each time he did that?? I'd have been bloody furious! What a nasty piece of shit he is!

I'm actually astonished that you had to ask the question OP...but to clarify, in case you're still unsure...yes, more than one 🚩 🚩

Bananalanacake · 15/03/2023 07:51

Whatever you do don't let him move in with you.

LookItsMeAgain · 15/03/2023 07:53

namechange3388 · 15/03/2023 03:11

Trying to find someone

Show quote history

He's not the someone for you then.

Time to move on.

Best of luck!

Quietlyunconfident · 15/03/2023 07:55

Absolute tool with a sense of entitlement not respecting other people’s boundaries or property. Needing to lash out at every irk.

Run, run, run! No good will come from staying with this horrible man.

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 15/03/2023 07:55

he's telling you that he can be consciously aggressive and uncaring towards others .. the signs are there - you can see them. Don't keep watching it and saying or doing nothing.

ooheeoohahahtingtangwallawallabingbang · 15/03/2023 08:02

💯

To think this is a red flag?
Penguinsmum · 15/03/2023 08:10

Omg why have you not dumped him already? Vile man.

gannett · 15/03/2023 08:14

Testina · 15/03/2023 07:11

Why?
If you need the internet’s advice not to date men who push plant pots off walls, then this part of the internet’s advice is: you shouldn’t be dating at all.

It’s not a “red flag”. A red flag is an ambiguous behaviour. This is just out and out arseholery 🤷🏻‍♀️

Show quote history

Absolutely agree with this.

OP this isn't really a question you should need to ask.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/03/2023 08:16

Dump-and tell him exactly why it’s not going to happen

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 15/03/2023 08:28

Complete and utter nutter...

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 15/03/2023 08:30

Have you never said anything to him? Told him to pick up things he's pushed over?

LakeTiticaca · 15/03/2023 08:34

This is not the behaviour of a normal stable adult.
Is he 14?
As pp's have stated, this will escalate

maddy68 · 15/03/2023 08:36

Of course it is. Get rid and tell him why

determinedtomakethiswork · 15/03/2023 08:41

I wouldn't even tell him why. I'd get as far as I could away from him. He sounds scary to me.

Justmeandthedog1 · 15/03/2023 08:44

ConcordeOoter · 15/03/2023 00:58

This isn't weirdo or nutter.

This is a man who messes with other people's property and undoes their hard work without amy respect for either, for fun, at what should be the high point of him trying to impress you.

He is telling you 'I barge over boundaries and fundamentally disrespect other people".

Listen to what he is telling you. Your instincts have, clearly.

Don't be the person who wishes they listened to this, 20 years later maybe when lots of shit has gone down and you start to see your teenage kids acting the same way.

This.

Please mKe him an ex.

nubofcheese · 15/03/2023 08:47

What is he, a cat?

PsychoHotSauce · 15/03/2023 08:49

maddy68 · 15/03/2023 08:36

Of course it is. Get rid and tell him why

Hell no. He'll know to hide this behaviour for the next unsuspecting woman!

cupofteaandabiccyplease · 15/03/2023 08:55

I can't believe you would actually need to ask this. Get rid of him, it's better stay single for a while and you'll find someone decent who treats you and others with respect.
Some of these idiots obviously don't know what the word means when they talk /sing about respect. This man is a complete waste of space.

coffeestrongblacknosugar · 15/03/2023 08:59

3 pages of people telling you this is not normal, rational, adult behaviour and it is huge red flag behaviour.

Raise your bar - be single. Or soon you will be another female statistic of DV.

CluelessInThe21st · 15/03/2023 09:02

Yes, massive red flag. Good on you for spotting it and getting out!!

mondaytosunday · 15/03/2023 10:37

It's a bit shocking that you need confirmation that this is not just bad behaviour in a potential partner, but as a person at all.

TempName247 · 15/03/2023 10:46

What does he say when you’ve told him not to do it? Or have you asked him why he does it?

Original poster
namechange3388 · 15/03/2023 17:03

I've called him out on it and he grumpily apologises

Let's face it, he's an arsehole

He's been dumped. By text. He messaged back 'fucking thanks'.

Next!

OP posts: