Should I let me daughter go, when the mum doesn’t communicate with me?

[Ijustdontknowwhattodo1018]

My daughter had a message from her friend inviting her on an Easter workshop. She’ll be gone for around 3 hours and it’s about a 45 minute drive away.

All communication is from the daughter as the Mum just won’t communicate with me. She has to be fairly pleasant when I purposely speak to her to try and break the ice but it’s very clear, she doesn’t like me.

She likes a drink and a good time, I don’t think she’s an alcoholic and I would hope she wouldn’t drink and drive but I’ve never been able to get to know her well enough to find out what she’s really like, morals etc. I am uncomfortable putting her in a car with an adult who can’t show any basic respectful communication, am I being unreasonable not letting my daughter go?

I wouldn’t care if the other mum was a total Floozie, but if you think there’s a chance that she might drive the children after having consumed alcohol, then don’t let her go.

It’s irrelevant how old your daughter is, to be honest.

Personally I would try to keep away from these type of people.🤔

So because the mum doesn't speak to you, you have decided that due to her enjoying a social life she may drive drunk. I mean FFS....Phone the mum yourself and talk to her about the invite and ask what the plan is

You sound like a bit of a control freak.

You clearly aren't reading very well.

The OP has not said these two points are linked.

She's said the mum supposedly likes a drink (school gate rumours no doubt.) She didn't say she 'just' had a social life therefore was driving when drunk.

She also said that the mum doesn't make any effort to communicate with her.

As I said, I have been in this situation where a parent was suspected of having a drink issue (father not the mother.) There appeared to be some evidence for it (which I won't detail for obvious reasons.)

On one occasion they behaved very negligently when my DD was out with them and on another, delegated care to an older, but still not an adult sibling, which I wasn't happy about.

So I appreciate the OP's issue but she needs to call the mother and talk to her.

Ask her round for a coffee OP and get to know her!

We don't know its school gate talk, for all me know the op saw her out enjoying a hen do or something and is making assumptions. It could just as easily be that she has an active social life that is appropriate and the school gate talk is we had a brilliant night out. I do think the ages of the children matters because 10 year old all have phones near me and a 10 year old I would expect parents involved, 14 I wouldn't.

OP's post was related to whether it was ok to let her daughter travel with a parent that she hadn't communicated with.

I'm therefore assuming she doesn't actually think the parent will drink drive, as otherwise it wouldn't matter how many conversations they'd had about pickup arrangements, the weather and isn't it sad about Mrs Stephens leaving school.

She put that in to indicate she thought the other parent was "not like me".
Presumably there is a thread running in a parallel universe where a parent is wanting assurance that it's perfectly fine to send their daughter on another trip as said parent is a paragon of the PTA and regularly helps elderly people to cross the road.

I'd message the mum saying thankyou for the invite and asking for more information. If she doesn't reply then don't let your DD go. You need to be in contact with her in case there's an issue during travel

I don't think op was a she. And I don't think op will be back.