To take a job 30 mins drive away for double the pay!

[DaffyDuckie]

2nd interview tomorrow.

I only went back to work last year after many years as a SAHM and took a part time entry level role. New job is at a similar but higher level than I had 15 years ago but never got anywhere near that salary.

Problem is I have a 12 year old DC quite newly diagnosed with a serious health condition where there COULD be emergencies, and also a young adult DC with ASD and learning disability. Both are relatively self sufficient but obviously vulnerable and there’s always the what if.

12 year old will have to walk home from school 40 mins away and I’d be 30 mins away if anything happened (hypoglycaemia).

I really, really want the job. 51 now and I didn’t think I’d have a chance of achieving that salary at my age after so many years out of the workplace.

Current role is low pay but completely remote so I’m at home or 5 mins drive from DC4 school if needed. New role would be completely office based, non negotiable.

No family locally or anyone to help in an emergency.

WWYD?

Where is your partner?

Are you able to move house closer to work? Would probably involve moving schools too

It sounds like the potential issue is the 12 yr old, not the adult DC?

How confident is the 12 year old in managing her condition? And after she has walked home, who is there (or how long until you are home). What about bad weather conditions (snow)?

Take it and build in a few possible emergency responses.

Do it and just try not to worry. Your kids will have people around so can be helped in an emergency.

Take it, emergencies happen, you can share this with the child's dad too and any other family you have if possible.

take the job! 30 mins is very little

I recently took a job about 40 minutes away; in the very same week one of my DC had a mental health crisis.

It's been incredibly difficult and only manageable (and I really do mean only JUST) because DH has a great boss who lets him be as flexible as he needs to be. Even then we rely on my parents at least once a week.

Do you have a partner on hand? If not it sounds really quite tricky.

30 mins is a very short commute where we are, go for it.

30 minutes is nothing! I've never commuted less than that, for years I did two hours each way. Of course take it

I'd take it!

Tbh 30 minutes is a very very short commute to me so I’d take it in a heartbeat. I’d also work on extending my network so if you needed someone there right away you had some support too.

Good luck, sounds like a great opportunity.

DH works long hours leaving at 7.30 and returning between 7-9pm. He will still earn more so not an option for him to alter his job.

DC4 is adamant will not move schools. Already mooted it as job in a nicer area, housing slightly cheaper and better school but he got very upset when discussing it and he’s already dealing with enough with diagnosis.

So IF there was an emergency, surely either yourself or DH need to leave work and go. I assumed from the OP that you were a single mum!

Would the new role have any scope to WFH? Even 1-2 days a week in time? I'd go for it.

Look at it this way - if you already had that job and your DC got diagnosed would you feel that you had to quit to be at home?

Does DC have a Libre device or similar for real time (almost, I think) blood sugar monitoring? If not definitely ask about getting one. That way they can make sure they’re not getting low before leaving school. How long is the walk home?

Are they walking home currently? Have blood sugars been an issue during the walk? Are they confident managing it? If you are happy with those answers, take the job. If you think, with a bit of coaching, DC can be comfortable with it, take the job.
FWIW, my 13 year old was ill at school this week. He asked them to phone Dad. They phoned me, who phoned DH - the DH who earns nearly 3 times my salary - who went to fetch him. Being the higher earner doesn't mean you default out of all child related illness.

I have two diabetic sons, i am often called for advice or to collect between the two of them (generally for highs though and a 13 year old going through a tricky stage) how often do you generally have to go and collect? As I think this would influence my decision - weekly then maybe not but one or twice a month at most then I would prob say okay. Child will be in the office safe and just wait until I collect so 5 mins as opposed to 30 mins wouldn't really make a huge difference. I think the key would be to being prepared for any situation - spares of everything kept at school and good communication - do they have a cgm device? So you can catch it before it goes down? Check bloods in office before walking home? A lot depends on the individual child and how sensible they are - youngest DS for me is very sensible at 11 however his older brother causes a lot more worries.

Sorry DH is a HGV driver and could be 100 miles away so no use in emergencies! It’s always been all on me which is why my career was totally f**ked when older DC’s disability became obvious and now youngests!

30 mins just seems too far away if youngest has a hypo in the street!

I track him on the walk home now when his blood sugar starts going low and on two occasions had to jump in car and go and get him as he went into a hypo. Only a few mins away then.

HCP here - I'd be requesting a CGMS (rather than flash glucose monitoring) & set the alarm for 5mmol so you are getting warnings shared through the linked app at that point, rather than waiting to treat a hypo at 3.5/4mmol.

Or even better a CGMS & pump combo (closed loop) so that insulin release is switched off before hypo. Total game changer.

I work 30 mins away from DC & have contingency plans eg neighbours, friends with spare keys etc.

I would for thirty minutes, wouldn’t for an hour or a half. You could potentially be thirty minutes away on a day off shopping somewhere

He has a Dexcom G7 but turns the flipping alarms off!

Does he not have a box of orange juice and a snickers in his bag for these emergencies as well? It's important he learns how to manage his condition, he'll soon be an age where he will be out and about a lot more.

I'm not discounting the seriousness of a hypo, but it is so important he learns to manage it himself too.

Eek @DaffyDuckie - that needs to stop! Otherwise it's pointless- often I say to switch the high alarms off & not the low if that's any help.

40 mins is a long walk, that must be almost at the distance to get a free school bus?

Take the job and enjoy getting a little of the old you back.

Take the job.