To take a job 30 mins drive away for double the pay!

[DaffyDuckie]

2nd interview tomorrow.

I only went back to work last year after many years as a SAHM and took a part time entry level role. New job is at a similar but higher level than I had 15 years ago but never got anywhere near that salary.

Problem is I have a 12 year old DC quite newly diagnosed with a serious health condition where there COULD be emergencies, and also a young adult DC with ASD and learning disability. Both are relatively self sufficient but obviously vulnerable and there’s always the what if.

12 year old will have to walk home from school 40 mins away and I’d be 30 mins away if anything happened (hypoglycaemia).

I really, really want the job. 51 now and I didn’t think I’d have a chance of achieving that salary at my age after so many years out of the workplace.

Current role is low pay but completely remote so I’m at home or 5 mins drive from DC4 school if needed. New role would be completely office based, non negotiable.

No family locally or anyone to help in an emergency.

WWYD?

Take the job!

If there's no bus is a taxi an option?

@DaffyDuckie

if you get offered the job, take it.

DS is young, but old enough to take responsibility for this.

carrot, stick (someone in a childcare capacity walking him home), both.
money thrown at technology (like smart watch)

Either snack every night before he sets off home or test & snack.

this job will change your life (lives) DS will soon be managing his T1 & want to be out with his mates after school (he needs to prove he's trustworthy)

Grab the opportunity with both hands!!

Go for the job. Very soon he’ll be old enough to want to be out with his mates and potentially further away from you, and he’ll need to be able to manage his T1 then. And then you’d regret not going for it.

The bonus of the higher pay is you’d be able to throw some money at the issue. Get him a smart watch. Consider using cabs to get him home.

Bear in mind the cost of petrol. I drive 3 x a week to work, half an hour each way and I'm around 300 quid a month in petrol.

Take the job!

Could you pay for a childminder or other carer to do the school pickups and wrap around care?

Is there no wfh at all in the new job? Seems a bit unusual if your profession does not require physical presence.

Agree with others. Take the job. Loads of really practical advice on how your dc can be helped to manage their own condition (they will have to do this for themselves eventually). I imagine this is new and a shock (and worry) for you and a bit incomprehensible for your dc. Things will settle. And you will be thriving in your new role.

Alternatively, you could be always on standby, running to sort things out and your dc might never learn to take responsibility... (my school friend was a chaotic diabetic and eventually we stopped inivting her to things )

My dgc has a similar health challenge (which was known from a young age). Even at the age of 6 they asked 'is it ok for me to eat this?'

Not the point of the thread at all but really surprised how many people have suggested you just somehow 'find' people to help care for your DS in an emergency. Really there is usually not anyone around us that would be available to do that in a shorter than 30 min time span if it was our own kids who were ill for example. This is despite having a lot of local family and friends. But almost all of the ones who are close enough to ask for help or whatever would be out at work on a working day anyway and wouldn't be able to respond in a shorter time, as people have said 30 min travel to/from work is great. But anyway thought it was interesting that so many posters seem to think we can all just magic up emergency childcare (especially here for a child with a significant health condition) and if we don't have it we mustnt be trying hard enough to 'extend our networks' as I think someone described it upthread.

Could you take a late lunch break, drive home then work from home for when he's about to come home? Even if just a couple of days a week?

I'd take the job. Lots of suggestions on this thread to think about to possibly make it a bit easier.

I'd take the job but I'd organise someone to be available.

Maybe a cleaner/housekeeper type person who could do 3-6 type hours at your house, do some housework and cook an evening meal, be on hand in emergencies? If you would accept someone bringing their own younger child it might suit a local nanny/sahm or even a semi-retired person, local student etc.

If the school has a sixthform is there a sixthformer who lives near you, or a couple that you could pay to walk him home? Once he is home would he be stable enough to be left or would he need ongoing supervision?

Encourage the child to eat before walking home.

Yeah, agree with above, try to buy in support and just view it as a short term fix for peace of mind during the transition - 6 months to a year? How much would the odd taxi be if necessary? Way too good an opportunity to turn down and your dc will only be getting more independent and able to manage in time. Well done and good luck!

Hi op, I'd take the job and maybe you can see about working from home or flexible working etc. Your ds will need to learn how to manage his diabetes independently eventually so this new job might be a good incentive for him to think about safety planning around it. Eg what does he do if he has a hypo where would he go to ask for help, where would be safe to wait for a snack to work etc.. if he knows you are tracking it do you think that makes him relax a little too much about it? Can he get the bus instead of walking so far? Or could another parent give a lift?

I would absolutely take the job.
I'd also let the 12 yr old know that either he manages his condition better (he KNOWS what he needs to do) or he changes schools. 🤷‍♀️

T1D parent and want to reassure you that it gets easier as time goes by. If he's 12 and he always has glucose with him, chances are he will be fine, if you have Dexcom and you can phone him, you can deal with it before he gets very low.

My son is 17, diagnosed at 11 and always hated me making a big deal out of it. He feels his lows. Took me a long time to realise he knows his own body and to trust he can deal with it. Whereas he knew that himself after about 9 months, took me about 4 years!

I was on alert with the orange pen in my handbag, thinking disaster is just around the corner, and feeling like I needed to be an ambulance on alert at all times, ready to save the day with the glucagon.

I completely get the phone thing! It's the pressure of phones and school, alarms and standing out from the crowd. But it is also that he knows if he feels low - doesn't need a annoying alarm to tell him.

If I were you, I would take the job and have a serious chat about turning his phone on after school. Or him texting you when he gets home or whatever.

Christ, what do you drive? Even assuming your workplace is 35 miles from home (30 mins x 70mph) that's 35p per mile!

I drive 30 miles a day and it's costing about a fiver a day. OP said her salary was doubling, I doubt transport costs would have such an extreme impact.

Also, at my school the T1D kids come to student services at the end of the day to check their readings, gets logged in their folder and action if required. He should have a health plan/risk assessment done, especially if he is at risk of incident on the way home from school. Speak to school about a plan/RA, impress upon them that they have a duty of care to insist he is well enough to get home unaided, might force his hand a bit if you're going to get a call from school if his readings are off.

He needs a smartwatch for alarms and a bike to change the 40min walk to a 10min cycle. Is there anyone walking or cycling the same way?

Or you could see if anyone would like to lift share, you dropping both on your way to work and then picking both up.

Go for the job, these are all small obstacles, good luck.

Take the job for sure - it will all be ok. You can still leave in a emergency and his diabetes control will get easier.

grab this opportunity!