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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised at height difference between us ?

96 replies

ChickenDried · 11/03/2023 18:47

Last night I showed our DC a pic of me and their dad when we were both 13 - we've known each other a long time - and back then - we both look the same height - I'd say we're both around 5ft 1 - 5 ft 2.

Since then the height differential between us has been massive - at 14 my DP was around 5ft 9 I would say - his final adult height is 5 ft 11. Me? I'm still 5ft 1! So I've not changed since we were 13 - but he's gone - well massive !! AIBU to be surprised at how we were once similar, now massively different ?

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 11/03/2023 18:57

It's only unusual if you're a man.

Oakorn · 11/03/2023 18:58

takealettermsjones · 11/03/2023 18:57

It's only unusual if you're a man.

This. Are you really not aware of what puberty is and how it impacts men and women differently?

SockQueen · 11/03/2023 18:59

It's basic biology. Girls generally enter puberty earlier than boys, with the associated growth spurt, so in late primary/early secondary school, lots of girls are taller than the boys in their class. But they then also finish puberty and reach their final adult height sooner, after which lots (most, if you're only 5'1!) boys will overtake you. It does look funny in some old photos, but it's no great mystery!

I'm 5'9 so was taller than most of the boys my age for years. Suddenly around 6th form realised I'd been overtaken by many!

jetadore · 11/03/2023 19:00

I think you’re being unreasonable to be surprised that your dh adult height is more than when he was 13.
And you’re maybe also unreasonable to suggest you haven’t grown at all since the age of 13. Surely if this was the case you’d have looked into it?

bridgetreilly · 11/03/2023 19:01

YABU. That’s the normal pattern for male height growth.

PeekAtYou · 11/03/2023 19:02

My sand I haven't grown since we were 13 but we were 5 foot 7.

My sons grew the most at 15ish. The differences in men's height does amaze me sometimes. My sons are 5 foot 11 but look look like Harry Potter walking with Hagrid with their tallest friends.

Oakorn · 11/03/2023 19:02

jetadore · 11/03/2023 19:00

I think you’re being unreasonable to be surprised that your dh adult height is more than when he was 13.
And you’re maybe also unreasonable to suggest you haven’t grown at all since the age of 13. Surely if this was the case you’d have looked into it?

Reaching full height at 13 is completely and totally normal for a woman.

FlounderingFruitcake · 11/03/2023 19:02

That’s completely normal if you’re a woman…

PuttingDownRoots · 11/03/2023 19:03

I saw my "baby" cousin for the first time in a few years recently. He was 16 last time, and still growing. A bit taller than mr I was 26, so obviously a fully grown adult. But the same 5ft7 ad when I used to baby sit him.

He's 6ft 7 now!

I used to be taller than my older brother at 11/12. He's taller than me now

PeekAtYou · 11/03/2023 19:03

jetadore · 11/03/2023 19:00

I think you’re being unreasonable to be surprised that your dh adult height is more than when he was 13.
And you’re maybe also unreasonable to suggest you haven’t grown at all since the age of 13. Surely if this was the case you’d have looked into it?

Girls often stop growing a couple years after they get their period so it's not strange that a 13 year old might be their adult height.

bigTillyMint · 11/03/2023 19:05

Most teenage girls don’t grow much past 13/14 (I was my adult height just after 12), whereas most boys reach their adult height around 16, though some not till 18.

Vloader23 · 11/03/2023 19:06

Oakorn · 11/03/2023 18:58

This. Are you really not aware of what puberty is and how it impacts men and women differently?

Show quote history

Literally this

Original poster
ChickenDried · 11/03/2023 19:08

jetadore · 11/03/2023 19:00

I think you’re being unreasonable to be surprised that your dh adult height is more than when he was 13.
And you’re maybe also unreasonable to suggest you haven’t grown at all since the age of 13. Surely if this was the case you’d have looked into it?

I'm still 5ft 1 - and a half stone now - exactly same as I was at 13!!

OP posts:
Sapphire387 · 11/03/2023 19:09

Errrr... right?! My husband is 6'4 and I am 5'4. Men are usually taller than women. Not sure why this confuses you.

jetadore · 11/03/2023 19:09

Oakorn · 11/03/2023 19:02

Reaching full height at 13 is completely and totally normal for a woman.

Show quote history

Every day’s a school day!

Original poster
ChickenDried · 11/03/2023 19:15

Sapphire387 · 11/03/2023 19:09

Errrr... right?! My husband is 6'4 and I am 5'4. Men are usually taller than women. Not sure why this confuses you.

I think it's the difference I find surprising - literally same height at 13 or him an inch taller - at most and then him hugely taller - by 16 actually- he was around 5ft 9 at 14. I might have expected so be around 3 or 4 inches shorter than him as an adult not 10 inches shorter!!

OP posts:
Newjumper2023 · 11/03/2023 19:15

I have b/g twins aged 14 and last year they were very similar in height. Dd had a growth spurt last year coinciding with starting her period. I think shes about done now. Ds seems to just be starting his growth spurt and has gone from a size 7 to a 9 shoe since September and into men's clothes . It's like toddler years again apart from the clothes cost more! Ds growth spurt is much more pronounced. Its just biology.

LindorDoubleChoc · 11/03/2023 19:15

My son reached my adult height (5'2") at 12 years old. My daughter a little earlier. He is now 6'1" and she is 5'9". Their father is 6'4". I can honestly say absolutely no surprises here.

ShinyMe · 11/03/2023 19:18

I still don't understand why you're surprised. It's totally normal for a woman not to get any taller after 13, and 5'1 isn't a freakishly small height for a woman. It's shorter than average, but 5'11 isn't a giant. They both seem very normal.

MyMumsOnMN · 11/03/2023 19:22

I used to be one of the tallest in my class when I was about 11. I stopped growing at around 12/13 and now I'm one of the smallest out of all of my friends. I think girls stop growing a long time before boys. Men are usually taller anyway.

knittingaddict · 11/03/2023 19:23

Have you never looked at a teenager op? Not even at school when you were one?

I think most people are aware that boys reach their ultimate height much later than girls and that men are taller than women, generally speaking.

Justleaveitblankthen · 11/03/2023 19:23

Just wait till you get to middle age and the shrinking begins.. 😶

Original poster
ChickenDried · 11/03/2023 19:23

Justleaveitblankthen · 11/03/2023 19:23

Just wait till you get to middle age and the shrinking begins.. 😶

Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
ChickenDried · 11/03/2023 19:27

knittingaddict · 11/03/2023 19:23

Have you never looked at a teenager op? Not even at school when you were one?

I think most people are aware that boys reach their ultimate height much later than girls and that men are taller than women, generally speaking.

Yeah it's funny actually- when I was about 10/11 both my parents commented that I was tall and fed me the narrative that I was going to end up taller than them. Them at 13 I had the first comment from a girl in my class saying that I appeared to have 'shrunk' - or more likely - not that tall anymore after appearing tall at 12! Then as my teenage years progressed more and more people were saying I was short ! So it's strange really going from people thinking I was tall to then getting short comments !

OP posts:
EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/03/2023 19:27

Girls tend to stop.growing when they hit puberty, boys tend to start growing then. So lots of girls will stop growing around the age of 13. Lots of boys won't have a growth spurt until mid teens.

I don't know why you haven't realised this before, OP. If you look at a Y6 class, a lot of the girls are taller than the boys. By Y11 that has completely reversed.