Husband and kitchen knives

[Rollonspring23]

Despite me asking him numerous times to carry kitchen knifes pointing down in the kitchen, my husband repeatedly walks around with them pointing outwards.

We had a disagreement about this at lunchtime when I moved in the kitchen and he was carrying one outwards pointing at me at waist height.

Just had a row after I turned in the kitchen and found him carrying a knife to the other side about 10 inches from my ribs. I’ve lost the plot about this, he thinks I’m being unreasonable.

AIBU to expect him to carry knives pointing downwards, I thought this was an absolute basic!

Exactly the behaviour is extreme.

It may be safer to hold the knives in OPs preferred way, but that doesn't excuse going off the deep end like that.

The replies that make me out to be controlling or extreme?! How about if you add in the key part that you’ve missed out …. that I’d turned around twice to find the pointy end of a knife pointing at me due to the way it was being carried?! It’s not that he’s not carrying them as I like, it’s the risk to safety. By loosing the plot I mean I got cross and stormed off as we’d discussed this at lunchtime and then it happened again. Do you calling me controlling or extreme have relationships where you can’t challenge something on the basis of safety without it being considered controlling?!

Unless you scared DH will on purpose put the knife into you yabu. It's a knife...holding it down is right height for a small child face. You within the kitchen I dont see the issue

Thank you, a common sense approach.

Then why on earth did you post? Sure not trying to stop anyone posting or anything but if you wanted people just to agree with a very odd place to post it

Late to the party, but completely agree with you, OP.

Common sense is to not walk round a kitchen, backwards.

And you have shared your opinion and he has told you (quite rightly) that you are being ridiculous. At which point you “lost the plot”. So yes actually you are not only batshit with your knife holding rules but you are trying to tell another adult how to hold a knife in their own kitchen. Yes controlling.

This is so minor as to be inconsequential and to start a whole thread about it and follow ups aplenty is ridiculous.

It's a minor annoyance and something he shouldn't do around the kids but when it's just adults around then so long as he's careful then whatever - I think most of us have bigger things going on to even think about this sort of thing.

I've never noticed how my husband carried knives, but then I don't launch myself onto them so it doesn't matter!

I posted to get a general consensus if you read the full thread or at least my replies before posting. I’ve said it’s been really helpful to get a range of opinions and to hear that some people would be pretty chilled and it wouldn’t bother them, that’s helped me to understand my husband’s point of view.

What I didn’t expect was to be called controlling, extreme, asked if I’m scared of my husband and told that my husband is a grown adult who is capable of risk assessing and should never be challenged, even if there is a threat to my safety. On this basis husbands can pretty much so do what the hell they want and never be in the wrong and I should be a good wife and never challenge him.

OMG! Does he run with scissors too? 😱

There you have it the sensible and logical standard advice re how to carry knives in a domestic kitchen!

It's also sensible and logical not to walk around a kitchen backwards yet you're quite happy to do that.

I'd argue walking around backwards in a kitchen (with multiple hazards in) is far more dangerous than looking where you're going with a knife in your hand.

However by your standards I’m ridiculous to even consider challenging my husband as he’s a grown adult who is capable of making a risk assessment and it’s controlling to do so!

Well yes, IMO it is ridiculous. He's a grown adult who is capable of deciding for himself how he holds knife when he's walking three steps across a room. On the other hand you should look where you're going - that way you won't spin around to be face to face with a knife.

Why are you making things up?

Who said he can do what ever the hell he wants? Who said you have to be a good wife and never challenge anything?

What they said was that you were over reacting. That you are over retaking the danger, in order to get him to comply. You then ‘kicked off’. Saying you are over reacting isn’t saying you must comply to him in all things.

You created a safety issue by walking backwards in the kitchen.

Someone who grossly exaggerates what’s said to them, to make people appear to have said something they haven’t is the hallmark of someone who is controlling. So yes, people are going to think that. You are exaggerating the risk, exaggerating the safety issue, ignoring your part in it, then exaggerating what people have said.

Having a cuppa and thoroughly enjoying this. I'm picturing a man walking around the kitchen pointing various long knives at his wife who is, for some reason, walking around backwards. I love Sunday mornings on Mumsnet

A total overreaction. You're his partner, not his mother.

This made me giggle 🤭

Yabu. Either prep separately or stay further away from each other. My bugbear is DH puts sharp knives pointing up in the dishwasher. Normal knives have to go upwards of course, but daggers I think should be down.

They should be in the dishwasher at all.
It damages and blunts them.
Wash them separately in the sink.

I was cutting vegetables once. The doorbell went, and I answered it with the knife still in my hand. The delivery drivers face was priceless!

This made me laugh out loud 😂

As I clarified I took one step back as I turned around, a very normal way of turning around. I don’t walk around the kitchen backwards, that would be daft. Now my husband is no longer going to point knives outwards I’ll no longer spin around to be face to face with a knife situation resolved with common sense.

So you didn’t say

I was walking backwards when I turned around.

"What I didn’t expect was to be called controlling, extreme, asked if I’m scared of my husband and told that my husband is a grown adult who is capable of risk assessing and should never be challenged, even if there is a threat to my safety. On this basis husbands can pretty much so do what the hell they want and never be in the wrong and I should be a good wife and never challenge him."

Well now you've confirmed that you are melodramatic.

Some people disagree that it was reason to 'lose it' and you interpret that as us saying that he 'should never be challenged' and 'husbands can pretty much do whatever they want and never be in the wrong' and that you must 'be a good wife'?

You over-reacted. Lots of people told you that. You misinterpreted what they said but are never-the-less happy because your dp has learnt his lesson and will hereafter carry the knife the two steps to the dishwasher in your preferred way.

This sounds a bit like something you tell kids lmao.

Anyone else remember growing up thinking the police would come if you left the interior car light on??