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Original poster

WWUD? OH in bed since being sent home due to snow!

109 replies

Theeffingcleaner · 10/03/2023 13:17

I’m so annoyed, got my 2 dc at home due to snow so both schools closed , having to do online lessons or planned work.OH sent home this morning as he couldn’t work due to bad weather(roofing contractor) so he’s decided to go back to bed. Me on the other hand am trying to help my youngest with school work, being called numerous times I walk out of room by youngest, trying to get my own bits of work done, older child complaining WiFi is lagging, dog wanting to go for his walk and won’t leave me alone, along with housework that needs sorting, washing that needs to be hung so it can dry, dc needing to be fed lunch, while my OH has been fast asleep snoring his bloody head off for the last 3 and half hours. I am tempted to blast radio to get the lazy fucker up to help me out.Rant done with,apologies in advance 🤬

OP posts:
GoodChat · 10/03/2023 16:39

853ax · 10/03/2023 16:22

He wanted to sleep a while, you wanted to go off for coffee.
Not sure you justified being angry with him wanting to go back to bed. Do you think he is now angry with you for going off out for coffee and he in the house, if so where does the angry cycle end?

OP was working plus looking after two children while he had a sleep when he had no work and two children at home. Common sense says the children should have been his responsibility today.

mumwon · 10/03/2023 16:46

Op for future use....turn on vacuum you dont have to do anything with it just leave it on

SleepingStandingUp · 10/03/2023 16:46

I don't understand how other people's relationships work.

If DH came back and wanted to sleep he'd explain why, and how long he'd be and check that was OK

If he disappeared off to bed without word, I'd go and ask if he was OK because I'd be worried.

If he swanned off yelling a cheery "off for a nap" I'd give him an hour max and when I needed him I'd go wake him up.

I wouldn't do anything revolutionary. I'd just communicate with hi.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 10/03/2023 16:57

853ax · 10/03/2023 16:22

He wanted to sleep a while, you wanted to go off for coffee.
Not sure you justified being angry with him wanting to go back to bed. Do you think he is now angry with you for going off out for coffee and he in the house, if so where does the angry cycle end?

Why should he get to lie in bed all morning while OP tries to work and home-school two children at the same time?

Of course she's allowed to be bloody angry. He's a lazy fucker.

LifeunderMarrs · 10/03/2023 20:04

I'm used to 'popping out' all the time!

I often drive to the big retail centre 30 minutes away, rather than the Sainsburys local. I'll have a fish selection sandwich in the M&S cafe for an hour, then browse their clothes for a good half hour, then finally do a shop in the adjacent big Tescos, then have a lovely drive home with my favourite playlist. I'd go mad without this...

Mamabear48 · 11/03/2023 07:01

That’s just lazy! I would absolutely hit the roof

crumpet · 11/03/2023 07:06

He was an arse for going back to bed without talking to you about it, but you were the same for going for a coffee in revenge without talking about it.

you’d have been well within your rights to tell him he was having to step up while you went out for a bit of time for yourself, but to just disappear (even for 45 mins) was just petty.

PoseyFlump · 11/03/2023 07:13

@Theeffingcleaner if the kids were at school what would you have normally been doing with your day?

ohfibonacci · 11/03/2023 07:18

All seems a bit passive aggressive. How do you both normally communicate? I would have asked him nicely to get up and help and then told him I was going for a breather. Why do you need to sneak away. Neither of you found great to be honest. Disrespectful to each other.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 11/03/2023 07:51

PoseyFlump · 11/03/2023 07:13

@Theeffingcleaner if the kids were at school what would you have normally been doing with your day?

OP says she was trying to do her own work while helping her DC with theirs, so presumably working.

PoseyFlump · 11/03/2023 08:00

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts the OP said 'trying to get my own bits of work done' but that's not clear she's actually working for an employer.

Maybe the OP's annoyed that her own day had been interrupted by kids and her partner.

GoodChat · 11/03/2023 08:04

PoseyFlump · 11/03/2023 08:00

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts the OP said 'trying to get my own bits of work done' but that's not clear she's actually working for an employer.

Maybe the OP's annoyed that her own day had been interrupted by kids and her partner.

She repeatedly said she has to keep her work phone with her which suggests she works for someone else.

larlypops · 11/03/2023 08:07

Snow days are for fun, not school work. Glad mine didn’t get any because I wouldn’t be doing it and clearly not worth the stress.
get him up and enjoy it.

AdoraBell · 11/03/2023 08:08

Either wake him up and tell him you need some help, or hoover the carpets upstairs, especially in your bedroom.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 11/03/2023 08:12

PoseyFlump · 11/03/2023 08:00

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts the OP said 'trying to get my own bits of work done' but that's not clear she's actually working for an employer.

Maybe the OP's annoyed that her own day had been interrupted by kids and her partner.

She says she has a work phone, so either rubs a business or works for a company that pays for a work phone.

I think she's allowed to be annoyed - I would be too!

Goneblank38 · 11/03/2023 08:25

I'd be annoyed too but this all sounds really passive aggressive and tiring. I'd try finding better ways to communicate.

Maireas · 11/03/2023 08:25

So many of these threads.
So many useless men.
Do you not discuss what happens with child care and house work? How do men become like this?

CandidaAlbicans2 · 11/03/2023 08:26

YANBU to expect better from your partner, but you were U to have stewed for 3.5 hours while he slept. Surely better to have discussed the practicalities of the day with him before he went back to bed or as soon as you realised that's where he was? And although I don't blame you at all for wanting to sit in Costa, I don't agree with this passive aggressive approach to dealing with relationship issues. Talk to each other like adults

Maireas · 11/03/2023 08:26

Goneblank38 · 11/03/2023 08:25

I'd be annoyed too but this all sounds really passive aggressive and tiring. I'd try finding better ways to communicate.

I agree. I can't imagine living like this.

Maireas · 11/03/2023 08:27

Good point, @CandidaAlbicans2

katepilar · 11/03/2023 08:39

ScottBakula · 10/03/2023 14:01

When you get back home say
Right it's my turn to go back to bed for 3 hours , see you later.

Yes! Please do that, OP!

Sophie89j · 11/03/2023 08:49

WeCome1 · 10/03/2023 13:19

Are they his children? Get him up if so. Doesn’t need to be in a grumpy way.

I don’t see what it matters if they’re his or not? I would be enraged, probably let him go back to bed for a bit then ensure he helps as he’s home.

PoseyFlump · 11/03/2023 08:55

'She repeatedly said she has to keep her work phone with her which suggests she works for someone else.'

No it doesn't. She could be self employed with clients. She can clearly pop out whenever she wants. In which case she may have been able to give herself the day off. Which is why I asked what she normally does with her day.

The problem here, as always, is communication.

Playing devils advocate, the OP might only work two hours a day and her youngest being ten, kids are usually at school etc. Her husband has a physically demanding job as a roofing contractor. Stop being passive aggressive to each other and talk.

Twinsmummy1812 · 11/03/2023 08:55

SleepingStandingUp · 10/03/2023 16:46

I don't understand how other people's relationships work.

If DH came back and wanted to sleep he'd explain why, and how long he'd be and check that was OK

If he disappeared off to bed without word, I'd go and ask if he was OK because I'd be worried.

If he swanned off yelling a cheery "off for a nap" I'd give him an hour max and when I needed him I'd go wake him up.

I wouldn't do anything revolutionary. I'd just communicate with hi.

This is the most sensible reply on here! No-one has asked if he has form for this? If my DH came home and said he needed a sleep then unless my need was dire I would say of course, go, because he never does this and I’d assume he was exhausted or ill. But overall there would be a conversation about it.

if I thought he was being lazy I’d give him an hour or two and then ‘encourage’ the kids to go upstairs and ‘gently’ tell daddy they wanted to play in the snow.

the fury on here sometimes is alarming, I’m amazed some of you are in relationships at all.

Maireas · 11/03/2023 08:56

Don't go down the tit for tat route, it's very immature. There's another thread running where women are saying that they can wfh with children at home and save on childcare. However, I do suspect it depends on the job.
If you were beginning to struggle with wfh and dog, children and household responsibility then you should have gone upstairs and woken him. Then had a conversation about what needs to be done.
Sounds like you need to work on communication.