Would you be a SAHP to pre-schoolers if you were financially independent?

[Kitchenette]

Not super-rich but say you had enough capital to pay yourself an income for life equal to your full time earnings.

I’m always interested in SAHP threads on here and the various very reasonable objections people raise to it- that you’re making yourself vulnerable financially while also putting too great a strain on the paid working partner. But say we took money out of it- would you prefer to stay at home or go to work? For the purposes of the poll it’s a binary choice (of course IRL the best answer for many of us would be to work PT).

YABU- I would prefer to be in paid employment
YANBU- I would prefer to be a SAHP

Me- I’ve had periods of SAHM, FT and PT work since my children were born. Binary choice with pre-school children and no money worries-I’d be at home, no question.

I chose to be a SAHM. I think if you can do it, it’s really good for children to have a parent at home, especially for those first few years.

I wouldn't, I spent far too many years at uni/training to do my job to just have children and sit at home all day. I wonder how many people who answer yes have left successful careers to be a SAHM? The ones I know didn't have a career to leave, they just married well and live off their husband's. If they hadn't they'd be working in a minimum wage job somewhere. I think that's the thing here, if you don't have a career but have money of course you'll stay at home. If you have a career you worked hard to achieve you'll be less likely to leave it to be a SAHM.

I left a v successful career to be a SAHM and it was genuinely the best time of my life.
But it’s horses for courses. I loved the child development, being out and about, playing, craft etc - and some people hate it. Both are totally valid.

Nope. I like my job and using my brain. Would probably prefer to work PT rather than FT, for a bit more balance, but I would be rubbish as a SAHM all the time.

WotNow Same as you .Really enjoyed being a SAHM.Also managed to work PT for a few years.I think working and looking after DC is hard .I have had 3 dogs as well and it has been lovely to be able to be with them as well!

I absolutely would love to be a stay at home parent if I could afford it. Career wise it wouldn’t effect me as I’m an in demand ‘name’ in my field, so taking time out wouldn’t impact my work. my partner and I will however be both going part time so our child is in child care as little as possible.

I wouldn't work if I were financially independent irrespective of kids.The key point would be just not working and pursuing my own interests.

I would work PT but 3 days/week or less.
Like others, I have studied and worked too hard to give it all up and genuinely do enjoy my work but the part time balance allows me to get things done when children are in childcare so evenings and weekends can be enjoyed. I was fortunate enough to be able to do this when children were preschoolers

I increased my hours when youngest started school because we made the choice to pay for private education otherwise I definitely would have stayed very part time

I love my job so I'd work but would want DH to be a SAHD.

I prefer being home for the first 3/4 years and that's what I did (first 3 years with DD, first 4 years with DS) but its not like there was much of a conscious choice about it, my employment opportunities are very limited at the moment (something I'm trying to change), but I was glad when they went to nursery eventually, I think there's a limit to my SAHPing.

I was a sahm. I think children where possible do need a parent home and any nursery should only be a few hours a week from 3. This can of course be done by both parents working part time!

Of course I would. But I’d need to be able to pay myself £48k/year, plus incremental pay rises, and an extra 23% towards my pension, yearly until retirement age.

Being a SAHP is a million times easier than working full time in my job.

At home, no question. However my job isn't very interesting which is part of it (it changed about a year after I joined - they didn't replace staff who left so I've ended up doing boring internal admin tasks whilst the job that I was hired to do has been outsourced, in my previous job I got demoted to admin because I went part time following mat leave. I stay because its part time and flexible, plus I now feel de-skilled, but currently lack the time and motivation to refresh my training. Had my role remained / been what I signed up for my answer might be different). Being with the kids is much more enjoyable!

I worked 3 days when my kids were little.
When they were born i had a mat leave of 5 months (extended, unpaid) and after that I was completely ready to go back to work again. I was just really missing my colleagues and the office-buzz.
And my DH also wanted to stay a day at home. Very important reason… we choose for kids together and he wanted to be with them too. So for him to be able to work 4 days I had to work 3 at least.

I work full time and have a fairly enjoyable and well paid job, but really loved being home with kids. Unfortunately my DH has been unwell on and off and this has also caused relationship issues - so although I'd be a SAHP if I won the lottery, in my real world I'm very grateful to have a decent solo income and to have kept my CV and independence with work.

I'd much rather stay with kids. I generally hate everyday rush and I think it's much harder when you have to incorporate nursery pickups, looking after child, parents-teacher evenings etc. on top of full-time job. You don't have time for anything. Sport, sex, hobbies, looking after yourself, your relationship etc. Very depressing.

I like working so I'll keep working. But if a person is financially stable and don't need to work, I can see why a lot won't.

I'd be a SAHM because I think that's what's best for the kids until they are of school age.

I was a SAHM for many years and wasn't financially independent when I did it. I looked at it as being my FT job and poured my absolute heart and soul into it.

I do think there is some truth to what another poster said about careers....if id got a PhD or was a brain surgeon, it would've been a more difficult decision to give up work. But I actually wonder whether motherhood would've been for me in those circumstances, because I know I wouldn't have wanted anyone else looking after the kids. So, if I didn't feel able to give up my job, then I'm not sure id have had kids IYSWIM.

Nope. Maternity leave both times drove me crackers and impacted my mental health. Both kids are in school now, I'm also a single parent and work full time. Life is busy but it's still better for my wellbeing to work! I adore my DC but was utterly bored on mat leave. I don't find my whole week being defined by motherhood and parenting fulfilling. Kind of wish I was the sort of mum who loved it, but weekends solo parenting is enough for me now 😂 I go back to work for a break!

Neither. If I had no financial worries and young children, I guess I would technically be a SAHM, but I absolutely would still have childcare in place. I have never had any desire to spend 24/7 looking after my children.

Now that my children are at school, if money allowed, I'd quite happily be a SAHM. I have no problem being default parent, doing all the planning and organising etc (frankly, I do most of that already) and I'd be happy yo take the lead on post-school childcare/activities etc (which I don't currently do mostly). But I'd just love to have more time for me that isn't about family or work.

I have some passive earnings probably not quite a full time wage especially in the area I live. I am a SAHM although I do use a nursery two days a week.

I would work part time if I could find something that would work well for me and my family, but at the moment it works well that I am on hand as my husband runs a business and his hours can vary.

I think it would be really hard if you didn't ever get a break though, and my husband is very very hands on.

There is always the option to have your partner at home; particularly if you are a high earner yourself. Or both to work part time, rather than one parent giving up their career completely.

@SockQueen sorry but I just have to say this. SAHPs are capable of using their brains as well.

I love history and am an avid reader of non fiction books.

I volunteer and gained a qualification through that volunteering.

Just because I'm not working it doesn't mean I have no interests or pursuits outside of my children.

I am a sahm. Used to send my kids to nursery for 2 or 3 half days a week when they were around 2.5 years old. I think it was a good balance, they got to spend lots of time with me and also enjoyed their time at nursery.

I mean, sure, I suppose so? Most people don't enjoy their jobs enough to do them beyond necessary income.