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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you send your DC to a working class school

93 replies

TrampolineParty · 09/03/2023 17:42

To cut a long story short - my DP attended a school which is described as having

low attainment
serves an area of high deprivation
I've seen it said online about it that it serves a lot of 'rough' working class kids

My partner's working class. Council estate background but a less rough person than my DP it's hard to imagine !

My D.C. loved his school and was very well liked there - with people who knew him there thinking of him as decent and one of the good ones .

I in contrast had a much worse time at my school and I'd much rather our DC go to my partner's old school than mine Our DC is 5 now - WIBU to send her to my partner's old school despite it not being seen as 'academic?'

OP posts:
Original poster
TrampolineParty · 09/03/2023 18:07

@Megifer - aw that's a heartwarming story ! My DP's from what people see as a rough estate, is very 'working class' in his speech, but is decent, straightforward and always defends both himself and anyone being bullied 😊

OP posts:
Dodgeitornot · 09/03/2023 18:08

I was meant to add, just be careful how you phrase these types of opinions. It is somehow accepted to piss on more middle class things on this site, and it's just not nice. Just because your partner loved his school, doesn't mean there weren't many kids failed by it. Equally just because you had a bad experience you shouldn't let that cloud your judgement. There will have been lots of kids at your school who had a brilliant time and have fond memories. Don't take one person's experience as a given for your kids.

Original poster
TrampolineParty · 09/03/2023 18:09

Donotgogentle · 09/03/2023 18:04

It’s not actually a bad thing to be working class you know?

I realise your OP is talking about deprivation and attainment which are different issues but the title is off.

Aw I definitely know my partner's very stereotypically working class and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me!

OP posts:
Original poster
TrampolineParty · 09/03/2023 18:14

Dodgeitornot · 09/03/2023 18:08

I was meant to add, just be careful how you phrase these types of opinions. It is somehow accepted to piss on more middle class things on this site, and it's just not nice. Just because your partner loved his school, doesn't mean there weren't many kids failed by it. Equally just because you had a bad experience you shouldn't let that cloud your judgement. There will have been lots of kids at your school who had a brilliant time and have fond memories. Don't take one person's experience as a given for your kids.

Good point to be fair - my home was abusive - his wasn't - and this definitely influenced things !

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 09/03/2023 18:16

Go and have a look at all the local schools.

My children go to the 'working class' school in the area. Before our kids started school people were falling over themselves to move to get into posher schools. It was purely snobbery, one parent even gave the % of kids who have English not as a first language as a reason not to go.

It's worked out amazing for us, it's in the heart of the community and significantly improved in recent years with a lot of opportunities for all children.

AviMav · 09/03/2023 18:17

Schools change you need to research online and look around. Ask friends if their kids already attend either of the schools.

DS school was like this... but you can't always judge. My friends kids attend a school within a posh location.

However my DS has lots more on offer from actives in the school hols, after school clubs and parents evening a food spread is put on in the school hall.

I think nobody here can tell you OP.

Wishawisha · 09/03/2023 18:19

Is this in the U.K.? I’m just wondering because your child is already 5.. did you defer for a year or do they go somewhere else for now?

OoooohMatron · 09/03/2023 18:19

Your OP is misleading as it asks about working class schools. Your question should be Would I send my children to a rough school in a deprived deprived area? The answer is no fucking way.

Live4weekend · 09/03/2023 18:22

My kids go to the school no-one in the slightly posher areas wants their kids to go too(although slowly changing).

It would probably fit the description of your partners old school quite well (apart from the attainment).

It's probably the best primary school in the city btw.

And it really does give so many kids a really good start in life and sets them up to succeed.

It does depend on the school though. If I didn't like the school I wouldn't send the kids. But try and go on with an open mind. I am so glad we did and its my kids who have benefited the most.

Live4weekend · 09/03/2023 18:23

Wishawisha · 09/03/2023 18:19

Is this in the U.K.? I’m just wondering because your child is already 5.. did you defer for a year or do they go somewhere else for now?

A child in Scotland could have turned 5 in the last few days and not be in school yet.

Thepeopleversuswork · 09/03/2023 18:32

“Working class” is a bit meaningless as a description really. A school could be mainly attended by people classed as working clsss and be excellent or it could be attended by children from deprived families with terrible behaviour and low academic attainment. It’s literally impossible to judge the quality of a school from the accents of the people who go there.

In the kindest possible way it sounds as if you are bringing some class baggage to this which probably isn’t helpful and is clouding your judgement and as PPs have pointed out you need to check the school out yourself rather than relying on anecdotal evidence from your DP which are 20 years out of date.

Justalittlebitduckling · 09/03/2023 18:33

Research shows when they’re that little it’s parenting that counts, not the school. Fine to send DC to a pretty lousy primary school as long as she’s safe and happy. If she’s falling behind in year 5 or so you can always top
up with some maths and literacy tuition if you’re worried she’s not being challenged. Secondary the statistic reverses and sending DC to a decent school becomes much more important.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 09/03/2023 18:35

I wouldn't necessarily be anti the school, I went to the 'better' school in the area, but they swept a lot under the carpet - for example, one of the other schools, drugs were found and they called the police, my school, on the other hand, the student was quietly excluded and it never made the local paper.

But, keep in mind things could have changed a lot since your DH attended.

Choconut · 09/03/2023 18:35

I wouldn't send mine to a rough school with low attainment and I wouldn't send them to a private school either. I would want a happy school where the kids did well but attainment wasn't the be all and end all.

CancelT · 09/03/2023 18:38

Justalittlebitduckling · 09/03/2023 18:33

Research shows when they’re that little it’s parenting that counts, not the school. Fine to send DC to a pretty lousy primary school as long as she’s safe and happy. If she’s falling behind in year 5 or so you can always top
up with some maths and literacy tuition if you’re worried she’s not being challenged. Secondary the statistic reverses and sending DC to a decent school becomes much more important.

Sorry meant to say it is secondary that's in question here not primary ! I know we've got a few years to decide luckily so just canvassing some thoughts !!

RandomUsernameHere · 09/03/2023 18:40

I wouldn't base the decision on your or your partner's experience at a particular school, as schools change a lot over time. Also what suited one person may not suit your DC.

whatadayforadaydream · 09/03/2023 18:40

I would not choose a school for being working class, whatever that means. I might not choose a school because it’s not very good (which it sounds like this one is). I definitely wouldn’t choose a shit school on the sole basis that my dj liked it decades ago.

Wishawisha · 09/03/2023 18:41

Live4weekend · 09/03/2023 18:23

A child in Scotland could have turned 5 in the last few days and not be in school yet.

Show quote history

Yes of course you’re right, they could have turned 5 in March. But it any case I thought Scottish schools do their admissions in the first bit of the year also? So it’s cutting it quite fine?

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/03/2023 18:41

KiwiMum2023 · Today 17:52
Low attainment and the rough element makes it sound a bit grim to be honest. I’d be avoiding“

This.

Dodgeitornot · 09/03/2023 18:41

@TrampolineParty Ah there you go then. It's proven that home life is the single biggest influencer of academic success and happiness. I'm sorry you had a rough time of it, but it sounds like your own kids don't. There's nothing wrong with wanting what's best for them and what's good for one child, isn't necessarily good for another. There will be kids thriving and being failed at both schools. Go in with an open mind.

Wishawisha · 09/03/2023 18:43

And my view is that the best school for your DC is the best school for your DC… but you can’t judge a school on what it was like 20-40 years a go. It’s likely a very different place now.

This reminds me of someone posting on MN a while back who was racked with guilt that her DC weren’t going to the same primary school she went to.

Sleepless1096 · 09/03/2023 18:55

Your child isn't you or your partner. Treat them as an individual and think about what will suit them best.

Ghostofborleyrectory · 09/03/2023 18:55

My child went to a Northern primary school where most of the intake was from a large council estate with many issues and a bad reputation. I was told not to send him there by a few people. It was an excellent school with great pastoral support and a happy supportive environment. My child liked it there. He passed the 11 plus without any private tutoring and is now at a renowned grammar school. He is now being bullied, my messages to school are ignored and he is very unhappy.

lieselotte · 09/03/2023 18:55

I've no idea what a "working class" school is.

Btjdkfnn · 09/03/2023 18:58

Do what you want, but don't rely on information that is out of date (ie you/your partner's personal experience).

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