Thinking toddler would be better in childcare

[Wfdg]

Toddler (2) does 2 days a week in nursery and seems to really enjoy it and be happy and settled. Rest of the time is with me and it’s a different story. He just doesn’t seem to enjoy our days much at all and if I’m honest neither do I. Problem is there’s a dire shortage of childcare available and can’t afford it anyway. So have to wait at least a year … not sure what others might suggest?

What do you do together on the days you have him?

Can you put him in for four mornings/afternoons rather than 2 full days? Break it up for you both?

No - I’m working on the two days and there isn’t any availability. Lots of different things @kikisparks be just doesn’t really seem very happy. I think he likes the routines at nursery.

If it's the interaction of nursery he likes have a look at groups/activities with other children you can go to. They can be expensive but most areas have some play and stay type ones that are fairly cheap.

Do you work on the 2 days he’s in childcare? If not could you put him in for 4 half days (mornings or afternoons) instead of 2 full days then you only have to find things to do for the rest of the day.

If that’s not an option and you can’t afford extra days for a year I think the best thing to do is plan your days. Can you book weekly activities such as toddler sense, tumble tots or music classes (free ones at libraries). Could you take him swimming once a week, soft play once a week?

Some
small children really do seem happier in company. My daughter loved being busy with other children at nursery. She beamed when we took her in.

We do go to groups but it’s only an hour or so of the day, and they are on at awkward times as well which makes it a pain. Thanks, though.

It does make me feel a bit rubbish, I suppose it makes sense though as nursery is predictable in a way I just can’t replicate at home.

If you have a confident and outgoing child who likes being with people outside the house you’ve done very well.

Can you find something else like toddler groups or farm school ect that give a bit of structure to your day. Or maybe he finds nursery/school overwhelming and struggles having to be on his best behaviour so is using you as his safe place to be a bit more emotional

Could you try creating a routine for you at home? You could use a visual timetable and have e.g. breakfast, play time, go out (could just be a walk to the corner shop if nothing happening), story, lunch etc. It should get a bit easier once the weather improves! You could also try rotating toys so you get out new things every week or so. (I mean putting some away in a cupboard and getting different things out, not buying new toys).

If you worked full time would that give you the funds for full time nursery?

@BendingSpoons i think one of my big problems is my toddler isn’t massively interested in toys, maybe will come with age? Not sure what they should be doing playing wise at this age.

sadly isn’t an option @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz . And I’m not even sure the place would be available, there’s a huge childcare shortage in my area as one local nursery closed very suddenly.

Why can't you replicate that at home? Mine get up, have breakfast, I put some cartoons on while I get dressed then dress them. They play, 1 t yr old played with her happyland this morning while 5 yr old played Lego and I tidied breakfast stuff and stuck a wash on. then we went upstairs and played with the trainset, came down and they wanted to draw and paint. While they did that I amde them picky plates for lunch which they've just finished and I'm putting toddler down for nap while eldest plays.. well I'm not sure what he's playing but it involves some Halloween toys he found.

After her nap I'll stick her in the buggy and we'll take the dog to the park, have a snack in the park, then a play in the back garden when we get back. After that they'll have a snack while I get dinner on, then we'll maybe do a wee freeze dance party or something. Once they're tired they'll read books or play with toys while I finish dinner

We often start our Thursday with a playgroup but eldest hasn't been well so keeping him away from others until his antibiotics kick in.

You’re probably just better at it than me @Forgooodnesssakenow 😂

I think the nursery day is

Arrive at 8am, breakfast.
8:30-9 free play
9-10 play outside
10-10:30 snack
1030-1130 craft activity
1130-12 lunch
12-2 sleep
2-230 free play
230-330 play outside
330-430 free play, books etc
430 home

For me, it’s impossible to replicate that because for starters mine wakes ridiculously early (not meant ungrateful,y but please no advice on this, we’re resigned to it after months of trying things and them not working) so by 8 I’ve already done at least a 3 hour shift, so he’s getting bored and restless. And it is nice to leave the house.

@Wfdg Can you give us a rundown of a typical day at home OP?

It sounds like your LO likes in interaction and the routine of nursery. I have a 2 year old myself and I know the days can be quite full on when it feels like you’re having to entertain them all day but honestly, it’s ok for them to be bored sometimes!
You say he’s not really into toys etc? Is there anything specific that he does enjoy at home?

We personally use everything as an “activity”! We have lots of playtime etc in the day, a few days a week we do a toddler group and we go outdoors for a walk/play everyday. But he also helps me with the cooking/laundry/hoovering/cleaning etc 🤷🏻‍♀️ Yes, it sometimes takes twice as long as doing it myself 😅 but it means I’m not having to try and entertain him while I’m running round having to do jobs in the house.

Mine also loves routine so we talk a lot through the day about what we’re going to do next etc.

Mines the opposite, late wakers but eldest is impossible in the evening to get settled to sleep. They have their own internal clock and it's hard to change eh?!

Definitely leave the house, I've a sore back and eldest is ill so going out is impossible today so it's harder. However I just forget about the chores etc Nd concentrate on their day. More chance they'll settle at night and I can get stuff done then. I'm definitely not better at it but it works in everyone's favour to have a fun day in the end 🤣

What do you do when you go out?

Hard because every day is a bit different according to what’s on …

But if I take today as an example, woke at 450. We went out at 9 but already been up over four hours by this point. Went to a toddler group 930-1030. Normally would have a walk and play on the park but heavy snow, so out for some lunch. Fell asleep at 12. No idea what I’ll do with him this afternoon.I do find a lot of the activities toddlers are meant to enjoy don’t hold much interest here, if I’m honest, so the one time I tried to get him involved with hoovering was a disaster which I haven’t attempted since, when I took him to the library he just kept throwing all the books down.

It is hard when they wake so early as there's so much day to get through before any groups start.

I think a loose routine does help, for us it was:

Getting out every morning from about 9-11/12 - some sort of toddler group followed by playground/library

Home for lunch and nap

Short excursion before dinner

I found helpful extending any excursion, e.g. going an extra stop or two on the bus and walking a bit more. Rotating toys and presenting them differently

At 2, mine were obsessed with train tracks, cars, playdoh. I think the weather improving will make things easier

I find it hard sometimes too, I personally try and have a routine with DD on our day together as I hate that feeling of “oh what do we do now” and we generally go out twice a day but bad weather can make it difficult. Do you have a soft play you can get to? What about swimming (I find it really difficult taking DD swimming on my own so I understand if you can’t face it!). How thick is the snow, do you have a snowsuit and wellies for him and a garden? He might enjoy playing in snow for a bit? Do you have any family nearby or friends with kids?

Do not get up at 4.50 are you mad. Yes he’s awake yes he’s crying but put earplugs in and leave him until at least 6. You can’t be doing entertaining parenting in the middle of the night!!

Says someone who hasn't had an early riser

We are thankfully past this point but if you tried this on DS2, he would literally sit on your head and prise open your eyelids while singing to you.

And, no, stairgates etc were just a fun obstacle course for him at that point

Yes I have had two early risers. And I refused to get up with them. They couldn’t leave their bedrooms and I didn’t go to them.

People can’t help themselves 😂

I have no advice just jo

I have no advice just joining in solidarity as my kid would rather be at nursery than at home with me too 🤣