Thinking toddler would be better in childcare

[Wfdg]

Toddler (2) does 2 days a week in nursery and seems to really enjoy it and be happy and settled. Rest of the time is with me and it’s a different story. He just doesn’t seem to enjoy our days much at all and if I’m honest neither do I. Problem is there’s a dire shortage of childcare available and can’t afford it anyway. So have to wait at least a year … not sure what others might suggest?

I work 3 days a week. So 2 weekdays where it's just us until eldest finished school. Usually go to library or softplay usually take her to library or soft play on elf the days. Park instead of softplay if weather is nice. The other day we go to a playgroup.

My little girl is the same and she gets really bored when we are at home and I'm trying to do chores. She ends up just making more mess while I'm doing stuff. Tried to give her things to do while I'm doing stuff but she wants me to sit with her.

Plenty of 2 year olds can leave their rooms though so your approach doesn't work..

The only thing that would have stopped mine is actually locking them in and since the time he climbed out onto the flat roof, we are a little wary of that. (We installed window locks..)

It’s miserable in a way, I really want to enjoy him as they say but we just don’t seem to rub along very well. I find him so demanding.

You do get edited highlights from nursery a bit so I wouldn't put so much weight on him loving nursery. This sounds like a confidence thing mainly. If you are worrying he is bored and unhappy he will pick up on that, but you ARE enough for him.

I wonder if he just needs more sleep? Maybe feed him before you let him sleep and you might get a better nap out of him.

Write down some child entertainment ideas and crack down the list, offering him choices. Does he push for screens a lot? One of mine was really difficult until I banned TV completely at some times of day. Once he understood he wasn't going to get it in those timeslots, he stopped pushing for it and settled to other activities much better.

I got quite into Montessori when my youngest was this age and gave them little activities on trays! Amazing how something really simple like spooning couscous can become a really satisfying activity for them when it's presented as an independent "project".

He’d nap all afternoon if I let him! He does sleep through but wakes 430-515 so it’s tough going. No idea how to crack it, I hope the clocks going forward may help.

Honestly? Do stuff you want to do and they tag along. What do you wish you did more of?

Sorry what?

I totally get feeling trapped and bored with a toddler at home by the way. Fist bump in solidarity for that

My son is like this, hates weekend’s and school holidays. I worked at a loss to send him to nursery as he was miserable at home. I do loads with him and he has siblings to play with too!! I don’t have any helpful advice other than trying to make friends so you have play dates.

Oh OP it's hard esp with early risers- my eldest (now 8) has woken at anywhere between 4:45-5:30 since he was well born. He now gets up, reads a book, makes himself breakfast (and absolutely adores school!) So there is some light at the end of the tunnel. Its hard at 3 as they're still only little really but on the go/ don't have the attention span!

Is there any museums/ art galleries/ national trusts/ farms nearby which you could visit to break up your week a little? Our local ones run craft & story time sessions. Take the bus to fill out the morning(or afternoon) to the museum and then home for tv time or an hour playing in the bath. (We do bath time as an acitivity here - I fill it full of kitchen utensils - whisk/ spoons/ the old fashioned scales/ lots of sponges...)

Does he like more physical acitivites than playing with small world? Making a obstacle course with cushions/ floor is lava or the task of delivering a toy to the living room only using two cushions to jump on?

Lastly could you ask nursery to pass on your number to the parents of his little friends and arrange some local playdates? I hope you manage to find a solution soon!

Tha is so much. I just feel he doesn’t enjoy the activities I try to do with him, they inevitably end up with him demanding something and tears.

He doesn’t enjoy baths and tries to get out as soon as you put him in. He doesn’t seem to enjoy very much in all honesty

What? Just leave the kid to cry for over an hour because you're not ready to get up yet?

Also came to say do 4 half days, or even 5 if you can stretch to that. Then it’s a routine of going every single day, but also not for too long that it starts to be detrimental? You would get some time back for yourself then too

So my eldest I'd take to playgroups and he'd try to leave the building, so we went to the park and hed leave the playground to wander through the trees, so we wandered through the trees.

I take them both to the library, neither sits and has a story read to them, they look at the covers and moved the books about (all acceptable in the toddler are of our library) and I justanage and keep them quiet and they DO enjoy it just not necessarily how I'd want them to enjoy it.

Softplay my eldest especially loved as he could just be super active and throw himself about and current 18 month old is starting to enjoy it too.

Try not to feel you need a BIG activity, do you have a ball pool or a tent? I used to blow up a few balloons while odlest was napping and chuck them in the tent and that'd keep him happy half an hour. Or chuck some towels on the kitchen floor and let him wash his plastic bowls in the washing up bowl. Activities only hold their attention 15 mins or so so easy set up and cleanup is key.

Also nursery you'll only be getting the highlights, there'll be grumpiness nd meltdowns there too they're just so normal the staf won't mention them

Probably because he is overtired. I'd start a thread for sleep advice. Well rested kids generally have a happier demeaner in the daytime - not for 100% of the day but enough so they aren't huffing all the time.

This isn’t helpful advice but I just wanted to say I understand what you mean. Once mine started full days at nursery, they got really bored on their days at home with me. I had activities lined up, walks outside, groups - and they had each other…but it wasn’t the same, it was expensive and exhausting for me (so much mess!) and I eventually caved and put them in for more days. My friends didn’t understand what I meant at the time and implied I wasn’t doing enough at home. Until you experience it, it’s hard to explain. Mine even ask to go to nursery at the weekend, even though we plan things (although that is getting more and more expensive...). Just wanted to share what I went through because I felt awful at the time and thought I must be doing something wrong.

thing is, how do you know that he’s any happier at nursery than he is with you? He does sound a bit fed up in general.
Having said that, my youngest didn’t enjoy home days when he was a tot. He loves constant company and now spends all weekend with friends as a pre teen. He’s a deeply sociable person.
So as a pre schooler we did play dates literally every day he wasn’t at nursery . Not necessarily at home but anywhere - as long as we were with a crowd he was happy as Larry. He found me deeply boring one to one as he likes a vibe. It all makes sense now that I know his personality better.

Yes. If you are a highly responsive parent all day and at bedtime, then an hour alone in the morning does no harm. Especially if you explain that everyone sleeps until the sun comes up and you have to be quiet…a groclock can help to reinforce that visually.

^ that was for
@Forgooodnesssakenow

My Ds was pretty much a very limited sleeper. I had him in my bed watching Tv whilst I dozed..

what I would say is remember the summer is coming ( it definitely doesn’t feel like it) parks outside play are on the way.

Today was an exceptionally crap day (it did get better) and I think I was in a very negative mood.

He does wake early but for some reason this past week it has been as someone rightly said the middle of the night! I’ve honestly tried so many things I’ve seen suggested on here. If you treat it as a night wake up he just cries (hysterically!) until you get him up. I know some people would say leave him to cry but as well as feeling a bit mean (he doesn’t know the time) it wakes the other parent up, and it’s so so SO much better if DH and I can split the morning, so parent 1 does a 5-630 run and parent 2 630-8.

Tried earlier bedtimes and later bedtimes and tweaking the nap … none of it works, the Gro clock doesn’t work (if you say it is still night time he cries!) I’m hoping the clocks going forward will help, but the thing is I think emotionally it’s just kind of easier if I don’t stress about it as it probably will change and life will get easier.

It’s not as bleak as I painted and we do have nice times, we do toddler groups, we do the usual stuff of feeding ducks and parks and I have braved the library although it sent him a bit manic - he didn’t want to read books with me (enjoys it at home!) and sometimes we will go to a wildlife park or national trust or something. He does enjoy it, I think. I just wish I could relax and BE with him more. It’s lonely - we did actually see a friend this afternoon and he was so well behaved it made me at this moany thread.

I am sure he’ll get better at playing with toys. Truth is toddlers are tough going and i think it helps other parents if they read this because there are days you feel like a rubbish mum and like your toddler doesn’t like being with you and it’s not, just a bad day.

Oh the early rising is soooo bloody hard! Nothing at all I tried cracked it until mine turned 4, went to school and was so knackered he started sleeping until 6am ish. He has been allowed to come down, get cereal and watch TV from 4yo. When he was smaller we just absolutely rigidly took it in turns to get up. No skiving your go, no split morning, just get up and keep him quiet until 7.30am. Each of us knew we would have an uninterrupted midnight to 7.30am every other night and it helped such a lot with energy levels and enthusiasm for activities. I just used to stick the telly on and doze on the sofa, he mainly ate toast and sat on my legs.

One thing I did find quite helpful was giving him a Power Nap of 30/40 mins around 9am before we started the day. I did nothing fun apart from drink coffee and mooch my phone prior to 7.30, then would read books or watch something with him after that for a bit, more breakfast and pop him down for a nap. Once he was up he was less whingey and tired and we could do some activities before another nap around lunchtime.

Mine is stubborn with naps. I managed to get him to sleep at 12 today which is an early nap by our standards and he slept until 230. Long nap but in a MUCH improved mood when he woke!

12-2.30 is the perfect nap time and length imo.

How old is your DS @Wfdg? just turned 2 or closer to 3?
It might just be your wording but you’ve said you “managed to get him to nap”...is it an effort to get him down? I only ask because mine turned into a nightmare to get down for his nap. Once he was down he’d sleep for a good couple of hours but to get him down was a bit of a battle. Stopped trying to get mine to nap and only put him down if he asked for one and our days are 100x better. He’s still an early riser but more 6am than 5am and he doesn’t very often wake during the night now. I know you said you’ve tried tweaking the naps etc but could worth a shot!

I think the playing with toys just comes with time tbh, or finding that thing that he loves 😬 Mine is also 2 (28months) and some toys hold his attention for a minute or 2 and other stuff he will sit and play with for 20 mins.
Obviously they’re all different but mine absolutely loves anything he can build/make - MagnetTiles, Duplo, Kinetic Sand, PlayDoh etc. He also loves role play type toys like his toy kitchen & food, doctors set, toy hoover/cleaning set and dolls house. I get it being lonely though, really, I do! DH works offshore so for 3 weeks at a time it’s just DS and I at home and I can feel a bit like a kids entertainer at the end of the day 😅 I also fall into the trap of feeling like he needs to be entertained 100% of the time. Like if he’s not laughing and being silly then he must be miserable 🙈 but I’m sure that’s just my own insecurity talking and me wanting to be the “perfect mum”.

With getting him involved with the chores etc, mine did take a bit of practice. The first time I tried to Hoover with him helping he screamed the whole time because he just wanted to stand and hold it 😅🤣 Now, we take turns lol or he uses his toy one while I use the big one. Laundry, he’ll “help” hang it up, or he’ll load/unload the washing machine. He gets a dry cloth while I’m cleaning/dusting and I give him something to clean while I quickly wizz round doing the rest 😅

Mine actually isn’t a great lover of the swing park etc. We do go but he much prefers finding sticks and stones and just generally messing around outside. We tend to do more “toddler led” walks rather than anything else so I just let him lead the way and we do whatever he wants tbh...it might be finding sticks, drawing in the mud with a stick, finding puddles to jump in, throwing stones in the water etc.