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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you'd do first if you were invisible?

112 replies

sheismyflyaway · 09/03/2023 12:01

I'm such a bore. I'd go into the nearest shop and take all the scratch cards. Pour myself a cuppa and scratch the day away until I win

You can only be invisible for 24 hours in this scenario and people can still hear you

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 09/03/2023 15:18

Be a poltergeist....
Make shopping float into trolleys, or run off with a football, or follow someone with a stick.poking them or keep opening a door or throw mud all over the windscrens of dangerously parked cars outside DDs school...

WithIcePlease · 09/03/2023 15:19

I'd have a nose around other people's houses too!

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 09/03/2023 15:30

sheismyflyaway · 09/03/2023 12:01

I'm such a bore. I'd go into the nearest shop and take all the scratch cards. Pour myself a cuppa and scratch the day away until I win

You can only be invisible for 24 hours in this scenario and people can still hear you

Hate to rain on your parade OP but unfortunately your cunning plan wouldn't work. Scratchcards all have a serial number and can be cancelled if they're nicked. You'd be scratching away all day and then get arrested when you went to claim your winnings.

Nimrode · 09/03/2023 15:33

I'd visit my toxic DS & DM and listen to whatever lies it is they usually tell each other.

ConcordeOoter · 09/03/2023 15:37

I'd stand in the street and wait for a sad person to walk past, then follow them and use my powers to make sure they had a really lucky day, where things went really well.

ShakespearesBlister · 09/03/2023 15:39

I'd use it to exact revenge on so many people I've encountered who deserve it by faking poltergeist activity and making them think their house was possessed by evil 😈

FlameGrilledSquirrel · 09/03/2023 15:40

Walk around places like Parliament and put all of the pictures on a very slight angle.

And repeat a couple of days later.

Ponoka7 · 09/03/2023 15:40

Aposterhasnoname · 09/03/2023 12:26

Go to the tower of London and move things around while making loud wooooo noises in clear view of as many people as possible, extra points if they are filming.

I'd try to do Queen Elizabeth 11 voice and say good thinks about H&M, "bring Harry back, throw Andrew out on his arse" etc, just to stir things up.
In reality people would trip over me in the Bailey's isle in Tesco.

Dotjones · 09/03/2023 15:57

Are my clothes invisible too or do I have to get naked? Not that it really matters other than how careful I have to be at checking when my 24 hours are nearly up, it's snowy here too so would be unpleasant if I can't wear anything.

I'd probably just go stealing. Your scratchcard idea is good, I'd swipe a shitload of them but I wouldn't scratch them until the invisibility had worn off. I'd probably hang around in a supermarket and try to steal money from the checkouts as they open the draw, if I could sneak into a bank I'd help myself to the cash from there, mabye just grab cash out of people's hands at cashpoints. Jewellery shops and stuff would be on the list too, basically anything stealable that I'd be able to cash in in the future.

Actually the "are my clothes invisible" question is quite important, it'd be hard to swipe much if people were able to see it being swiped. Ideally I'd have a rucksack I can stuff my stolen property into.

Once shops have shut for the day I'd probably go round visiting the homes of people who have wronged me and smash their windows etc.

If I had the time to plan ahead - i.e. prior notification of the window of invisibility - I might engage in more serious criminality to take out a couple of "targets" I have. Not sure though because of course just because I'm invisible doesn't mean I wouldn't leave DNA evidence. I'd have to think about this in advance because of course there'd be no CCTV footage of me travelling to their homes but equally there would be no footage of me hundreds of miles away when the incidents happened.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 09/03/2023 15:58

Spy in number ten and release all the good stuff to the press. Grin

LaFemmeDamnee · 09/03/2023 16:00

I'd spend some time fucking with my dickhead neighbours - nothing completely terrible, ringing their Ring Doorbell, moving their bins, maybe climbing into their gardens and sprinkling stock cubes on the grass so their dog digs up the lawn. Then I'd pop to the DC's school and watch them in class and in the playground to see what their days are really like.

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 09/03/2023 16:04

I’m over 50, I’m already invisible 😂

WordleInTwo · 09/03/2023 16:12

Do some good in the world.
Fly to Russia and wipe out Putin Grin

Situaciones · 09/03/2023 16:15

I'd go around doing really naughty stuff and deliver some you've been tangoed slaps in the face. I would laugh at the bewilderment of my enemies, getting invisible slaps.

megletthesecond · 09/03/2023 16:16

I would go round our entire estate moving everyone's flytipped items next to their back gates back into their front gardens. And I'd post a shitty letter though all their letterboxes telling them to stop leaving their crap everywhere. I'd be in my element.

ScottBakula · 09/03/2023 16:16

Chikapu · 09/03/2023 15:00

Go to Spike's crypt and bang him senseless.

Ooooh me too , I loved the episode when buffy was invisible. And was very jealous!

GasPanic · 09/03/2023 16:17

Dotjones · 09/03/2023 15:57

Are my clothes invisible too or do I have to get naked? Not that it really matters other than how careful I have to be at checking when my 24 hours are nearly up, it's snowy here too so would be unpleasant if I can't wear anything.

I'd probably just go stealing. Your scratchcard idea is good, I'd swipe a shitload of them but I wouldn't scratch them until the invisibility had worn off. I'd probably hang around in a supermarket and try to steal money from the checkouts as they open the draw, if I could sneak into a bank I'd help myself to the cash from there, mabye just grab cash out of people's hands at cashpoints. Jewellery shops and stuff would be on the list too, basically anything stealable that I'd be able to cash in in the future.

Actually the "are my clothes invisible" question is quite important, it'd be hard to swipe much if people were able to see it being swiped. Ideally I'd have a rucksack I can stuff my stolen property into.

Once shops have shut for the day I'd probably go round visiting the homes of people who have wronged me and smash their windows etc.

If I had the time to plan ahead - i.e. prior notification of the window of invisibility - I might engage in more serious criminality to take out a couple of "targets" I have. Not sure though because of course just because I'm invisible doesn't mean I wouldn't leave DNA evidence. I'd have to think about this in advance because of course there'd be no CCTV footage of me travelling to their homes but equally there would be no footage of me hundreds of miles away when the incidents happened.

You've spent too much time thinking about this.

NashvilleQueen · 09/03/2023 16:17

If I can still be heard I'd follow around truly awful people and just whisper 'you're a total twat' in their ears. Hopefully they'd think it was their conscious mind.

MargaretThursday · 09/03/2023 16:20

ShakespearesBlister · 09/03/2023 15:39

I'd use it to exact revenge on so many people I've encountered who deserve it by faking poltergeist activity and making them think their house was possessed by evil 😈

Me too.
Assuming I could move things, I'd hiss in people's ear who are nasty and make them jump.
I'd write BULLY in permanent marker on the car of the person who is bullying my friend. I'd also pinch their phone and screenshot the nasty messages they're sending to her and send them to her line manager. Or maybe post them on fb.

And I'd collect bunches of flowers for the lovely people I know and put them on their doorsteps.

immergeradeaus · 09/03/2023 16:29

I think those of us who are women of a certain age will correct your question to 'when you are invisible' rather than 'if'.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 09/03/2023 16:31

Whenever I heard a noisy phone, iPad etc
I’d have to confiscate it. I wouldn’t hurt them, I’d put them down nearby once I’d turned the sound off.

ShiverOfSharks · 09/03/2023 16:39

I would totally find some hot naked celebrities to look at.

YukoandHiro · 09/03/2023 16:41

I'd sit in on my 5yo's school class for an hour to see what she's like in lessons. I find it both odd and brilliant that she's so little but already has this big world away from me.

I'd also use it for commercial gain: go and it in on some meetings that would give me loads of inside info and then sell it to competitor.

Tirediam · 09/03/2023 16:45

So many things!
Hadn’t thought of the scratch card thing but that’s good!
Go to someone’s house I don’t like and poop on their doorstep. Also try to get in and have a look at the house.
Sneak into one of my ex bosses parties to see what they really get up to and how many drugs they actually take.
Give the kid who smacked my child a thump (a light one but enough to confuse him)
Walk around at night, as I’d be safe

JaneJeffer · 09/03/2023 16:49

I would go to Scientology HQ and look through the files they keep on famous people they have "audited" like Tom Cruise that make them afraid to leave before I burn the place to the ground.