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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School celebrated a Muslim LGBT activist on International Women’s day!

423 replies

Threemangoes · 09/03/2023 00:06

AIBU to be annoyed at the school? I’m baffled as why have the school missed an opportunity here. They already celebrate lgbt history month and then pride in June at school.

Why is this issue that affects a very tiny minority is so heavily influenced in children’s curriculum?

OP posts:
ScrollingLeaves · 09/03/2023 00:44

.White Heterosexual Women’s Day
That’s called being “cis het” and it’s almost taboo.

CremeEggQueen · 09/03/2023 00:49

ScrollingLeaves · 09/03/2023 00:44

.White Heterosexual Women’s Day
That’s called being “cis het” and it’s almost taboo.

😂 Is it bollocks almost taboo to be a white heterosexual woman 🙄😂
I say this as one myself!
I honest to God don't get why people have a problem with people who aren't when they're getting more of a voice.
It's like "We let you have a month the other month to speak, sit down, that's enough now!" 🙄
We're all women, so what's the problem?

Linning · 09/03/2023 00:49

You feel the school have missed an opportunity here? Have you not been made aware of the massive amounts of oppression women suffer currently in extremist Muslim countries? And most of the women suffering at the hands of the extremist are mainly straight, so one can imagine the hardship of being both gay and Muslim.

in which way do you feel being straight and dare I say white (or should I say non-Muslim/religious) would have been more appropriate or more inspiring/empowering?

You realize that until not ALL women are free (and yes that includes gay women and Muslim women as both those categories add a layer of oppression to « just » being a woman) from oppression, none of us will truly be free?

The fact that you think that gay rights and religious hardships is a kind of oppression that shouldn’t be acknowledged on international women’s day because it doesn’t affect you/the majority of occidental woman is beyond me. Religion and sexuality are two of the main oppressing factors of women, literally the whole patriarchy all the way down to abortion rights and women body autonomy and slut shaming is based on it. Come on, OP! If you can’t see how intersectionality is fundamental to actual freedom for women, I don’t know what to say.

it’s ALL linked. No woman will truly be free if lesbians are gauged okay to oppress or to sexualize, or worse, brutalize and murder for loving who they do and no woman will genuinely be free until all women (including Muslim women) have full freedom of choice and full body autonomy.

The fact that you think learning about someone more mainstream, more straight and more the norm would be most appropriate and the better opportunity boggles the mind. I personally think it’s those most oppressed who still chose to fight back and be proud of who they are despite the risks who are most inspiring. I am heavily inspired by the women of Iran currently. There is something about making a stance that could mean life or death for you but also means freedom that is truly inspiring. Any gay Muslim woman who is out and about risks serious life-threatening backlash from her community.

it might not seem like much to you but gay marriage is still illegal in most countries and was legalized in a lot of Europe only in the last decade (!). The fact that you think the month of June is enough light on the topic of LGBTQ+ folks to undo thousands of years of homophobia and discrimination is funny. Because NO, we shouldn’t just talk about gay rights in June. It should be talked about (just like with women’s right) every day until gay folks are treated like straight folks anywhere, to the point no OP like you would ever be upset at a school for talking about a lesbian woman on another month than June!

CremeEggQueen · 09/03/2023 00:51

@Linning great post

VivienneDelacroix · 09/03/2023 00:52

Is she a girly-girl lesbian though, OP? Or one of those butch ones? Everyone knows IWD is for blonde haired women who wear florals and are stay-at-home mothers who cook steak for their husbands every night and smell of Pears soap.

Threemangoes · 09/03/2023 00:52

Annddd breathe dear.
Is it actually wrong to celebrate a woman not on the basis of her sexuality but the difference she has made in the world???
Like I said they already celebrate lgbt history month and pride!!
This is primary school curriculum we are talking about.

OP posts:
Notatallanamechange · 09/03/2023 00:53

Threemangoes · 09/03/2023 00:42

No I'm not an idiot.
I'm not white.
I'm not a Christian.
Just annoyed because of how much Lgbt topic/issues are given so much space in the primary school curriculum when it only affects a tiny minority.

So you want WOMEN marginalised to fit what you think is the I ideal of women? Make no mistake, the majority of children are surrounded by your ideal of a female for this event. Thankfully the organisers decided not to keep Muslim, non straight woman marginalised, because this is definitely a minority. But also irrelevant! It’s a day for women. And people like you bring bitterness into it, it’s frankly sad.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 09/03/2023 00:54

If she's an activist surely she's making a difference in the world

Threemangoes · 09/03/2023 00:54

Dear lord!
Are 2 calendar months not enough to teach children this?
February(lgbt history)
June(pride)

OP posts:
TheCatterall · 09/03/2023 00:54

Think you’re one 🥭 short of a full fruit salad here OP.

vodkaredbullgirl · 09/03/2023 00:56

🙄

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/03/2023 00:56

Threemangoes · 09/03/2023 00:33

Yes this. It is celebrated left right and centre in primary schools. That's why I am annoyed.

Think about it this way. Straight white people have the whole heteronormative shebang to themselves. Everything from almost the entire Disney back catalogue to the Royal Family. All promoting straightness. The gay kids have a few days in school. It won't kill the straight kids to hear about it and it might help the gay ones.

Notatallanamechange · 09/03/2023 00:58

Threemangoes · 09/03/2023 00:54

Dear lord!
Are 2 calendar months not enough to teach children this?
February(lgbt history)
June(pride)

Yeah muslim and gay women. Know your months where you can celebrate with white straight women. But this is our one.🙄

Fucking ridiculous.

ScrollingLeaves · 09/03/2023 00:59

I understand what you are saying OP.

She may be a special woman, but the aim of primary schools is not to constantly promote LHBT. It is out of all proportion. It isn’t the only protected characteristic.

The only thing the children need to know a is that sometimes people of the same sex love each other.

OnTheRoll · 09/03/2023 01:00

I agree with you OP

Whatisthisanyidea · 09/03/2023 01:01

Just annoyed because of how much Lgbt topic/issues are given so much space in the primary school curriculum when it only affects a tiny minority.

Its affecting a lot more than a tiny minority - Teens jumping in the band wagon and it’s the only topic of conversation.

There’s a lot to learn here.

Scyla · 09/03/2023 01:01

Kids need to learn the point system early.

LuluLehman · 09/03/2023 01:01

Threemangoes · 09/03/2023 00:42

No I'm not an idiot.
I'm not white.
I'm not a Christian.
Just annoyed because of how much Lgbt topic/issues are given so much space in the primary school curriculum when it only affects a tiny minority.

Have you considered that the school chose to honour this woman for her awesomeness and not just because she is LGBT?

I'm afraid your post comes across as bigoted.

ScrollingLeaves · 09/03/2023 01:02

.*The gay kids have a few days in school. It won't kill the straight kids to hear about it and it might help the gay ones.+

This is a primary school. The children aren’t gay or straight.

JhsLs · 09/03/2023 01:04

3 instances of diversity is hardly ‘so heavily influenced’ in the curriculum when it’s 193 days long per academic year. It’s a minute proportion of what is being learned, studied or focused on.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/03/2023 01:05

ScrollingLeaves · 09/03/2023 01:02

.*The gay kids have a few days in school. It won't kill the straight kids to hear about it and it might help the gay ones.+

This is a primary school. The children aren’t gay or straight.

Doesn't stop them being constantly bombarded with marriage and boyfriends/girlfriends and gender roles.

Keep it all out of school. But don't JUST keep gay people out.

Threemangoes · 09/03/2023 01:06

Do you know the amount of problems majority of Muslim women face every single day in UK and world wide???
I have unfortunately seen it first hand in a third world country and more so in Britain.
But no, let's celebrate Muslim gay women who make up less than 1% of women(approx correct me if I'm wrong).

OP posts:
CremeEggQueen · 09/03/2023 01:08

This is a primary school. The children aren’t gay or straight.
Of course they are!!
I knew I fancied boys in primary school, round about the age of 10.
(I'm straight)
Surely it's a good thing to know that it's OK to be attracted to the opposite sex? I know not everyone will agree with me there though

OneLongSmorgasbord · 09/03/2023 01:08

What is she actually known for apart from being an LGBT activist?

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 09/03/2023 01:09

ScrollingLeaves · 09/03/2023 01:02

.*The gay kids have a few days in school. It won't kill the straight kids to hear about it and it might help the gay ones.+

This is a primary school. The children aren’t gay or straight.

I can’t decide if this is just startlingly naive or plain old offensive - or a bit of both.