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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour

101 replies

NicolaKing · 08/03/2023 15:05

Long story! We brought our house April 2022. From around 5 weeks since we moved in our neighbour complained she could hear us. We said oh sorry sort of thing we’d just moved in putting things up and to be more mindful. Fast forward a year, throughout the year she’s complained multiple times to the housing association( we have shared owernship so only own half) they’ve looked into it we’ve done a sound test that’s passed, they’ve even come to our property to check the doors ect and they are satisfied that it is just normal household noise so they’ve now closed the case. Now since the neighbour has received the letter confirming nothing can be done due to everything being completed she’s now started to bang on the walls slam her doors it’s just getting really petty. I’m so stuck what to do as I can’t live like this she’s scaring my 2yo and I’m just generally upset with having to even think about what I’m doing. My partner works Monday-Friday and I work Saturday and Sunday so there’s hardly anyone over loud music ect. She’s always said it’s been a loud banging noise. My other neighbour who we are more attached to has no problems and cannot hear us at all so I don’t know whether she just is jealous or just has it in for us. We are a young couple (25&27) I have now reported to 101 as harassment so they are now looking into this. I was just wondering if anyone had gone through anything similar and knows how to settle my mind? Thank you

OP posts:
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 08/03/2023 15:08

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4700778-cant-cope-with-constant-intrusion-by-new-neighbour?page=12&reply=124465485

I sympathise wholeheartedly. You've done the right thing with 101. My situation is slightly different, I own the property outright and she rents next door privately (we are in terraced properties). See if anything on my thread helps, otherwise others with more knowledge of rented/HA accommodation might have more advice.

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's hell.

billy1966 · 08/03/2023 15:10

You need to be go back to the housing association and report HER for harassment and keep onto the police.

Record her if she comes near your door and put up a video bell if you can.

Mention to both that she is scaring your child.

You need to push back hard otherwise this will continue.

Make a nuisance of yourself to both the HA/police...this has gone on long enough.

ShipOfTheseus · 08/03/2023 15:11

Why would you think it’s jealousy? That’s a bit of a leap.

Kerfuffler · 08/03/2023 15:12

Jealous of what? Confused

Original poster
NicolaKing · 08/03/2023 15:12

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 08/03/2023 15:08

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4700778-cant-cope-with-constant-intrusion-by-new-neighbour?page=12&reply=124465485

I sympathise wholeheartedly. You've done the right thing with 101. My situation is slightly different, I own the property outright and she rents next door privately (we are in terraced properties). See if anything on my thread helps, otherwise others with more knowledge of rented/HA accommodation might have more advice.

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's hell.

Thank you I will check it out! :)

OP posts:
ShakespearesBlister · 08/03/2023 15:12

Can you not report her to the housing association for harassment seeing as she is trying to curtail your movements and preventing you from enjoying your home?

ShakespearesBlister · 08/03/2023 15:14

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 08/03/2023 15:08

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4700778-cant-cope-with-constant-intrusion-by-new-neighbour?page=12&reply=124465485

I sympathise wholeheartedly. You've done the right thing with 101. My situation is slightly different, I own the property outright and she rents next door privately (we are in terraced properties). See if anything on my thread helps, otherwise others with more knowledge of rented/HA accommodation might have more advice.

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's hell.

Ah yes, the one who can't cope with the neighbours constant intrusion but won't actually do anything about it lol

Original poster
NicolaKing · 08/03/2023 15:14

Kerfuffler · 08/03/2023 15:12

Jealous of what? Confused

I mean it in the sense that she's a Middle Aged woman, we're 25 and 27. Sometimes it's like she complains when she sees we're doing well for ourself. Recently just brought a brand new car the day after there was another complaint made.

OP posts:
Original poster
NicolaKing · 08/03/2023 15:15

billy1966 · 08/03/2023 15:10

You need to be go back to the housing association and report HER for harassment and keep onto the police.

Record her if she comes near your door and put up a video bell if you can.

Mention to both that she is scaring your child.

You need to push back hard otherwise this will continue.

Make a nuisance of yourself to both the HA/police...this has gone on long enough.

This has all been done and still continuing! I'm out of options

OP posts:
ShakespearesBlister · 08/03/2023 15:15

NicolaKing · 08/03/2023 15:14

I mean it in the sense that she's a Middle Aged woman, we're 25 and 27. Sometimes it's like she complains when she sees we're doing well for ourself. Recently just brought a brand new car the day after there was another complaint made.

Show quote history

You definitely need to start complaining back. She's harassing you.

ShakespearesBlister · 08/03/2023 15:16

NicolaKing · 08/03/2023 15:15

This has all been done and still continuing! I'm out of options

Show quote history

Youve actually reported her for harassment?

ShipOfTheseus · 08/03/2023 15:16

NicolaKing · 08/03/2023 15:14

I mean it in the sense that she's a Middle Aged woman, we're 25 and 27. Sometimes it's like she complains when she sees we're doing well for ourself. Recently just brought a brand new car the day after there was another complaint made.

Show quote history

None of this helps your argument. It’s irrelevant and makes you look like an awful prat.

Kerfuffler · 08/03/2023 15:17

That makes sense - middle aged women are renowned for their bitter jealousy of younger ones.

Original poster
NicolaKing · 08/03/2023 15:17

Don't comment on my post then I don't need unwanted rubbish advice. Back off.

OP posts:
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 08/03/2023 15:18

ShakespearesBlister · 08/03/2023 15:14

Ah yes, the one who can't cope with the neighbours constant intrusion but won't actually do anything about it lol

Show quote history

Read the update if you can be bothered. And post advice for the OP on this thread, don't hijack.

Movinghouseatlast · 08/03/2023 15:18

I actually felt quite sorry for you until you explained why you think she's jealous. That's a rather unpleasant way to think about people.

Original poster
NicolaKing · 08/03/2023 15:18

Kerfuffler · 08/03/2023 15:17

That makes sense - middle aged women are renowned for their bitter jealousy of younger ones.

Yeah this is what I meant I didn't mean it like ooooo look at me were young and doing well lol :)

OP posts:
Kerfuffler · 08/03/2023 15:19

I forgot to add a sarcasm disclaimer.

Original poster
NicolaKing · 08/03/2023 15:20

Don't want any sympathy I'm here for advice Wink

OP posts:
ShakespearesBlister · 08/03/2023 15:20

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 08/03/2023 15:18

Read the update if you can be bothered. And post advice for the OP on this thread, don't hijack.

Show quote history

Eh?? Unfortunately I am only seeing one person hijacking?

Deathbyfluffy · 08/03/2023 15:21

ShakespearesBlister · 08/03/2023 15:16

Youve actually reported her for harassment?

Show quote history

Why wouldn't you? This is definitely harassment, and hopefully a stiff word will put her back in her box

Original poster
NicolaKing · 08/03/2023 15:21

ShakespearesBlister · 08/03/2023 15:12

Can you not report her to the housing association for harassment seeing as she is trying to curtail your movements and preventing you from enjoying your home?

Reported already!

OP posts:
IHaveaSetOfVeryParticularSkills · 08/03/2023 15:22

Movinghouseatlast · 08/03/2023 15:18

I actually felt quite sorry for you until you explained why you think she's jealous. That's a rather unpleasant way to think about people.

It's not that wrong though.
When I bought at 29 I had scoffs from older people than me that I must have had bank of mum and dad help because their kids can't afford to buy. (Well they could since it required 4.5k at that time!)
Some people do not deal well with someone younger having more.
Some younger don't either.

It's not inconceivable that someone would be jealous of young couple buying house while they rent. See similar bitterness here all the time.

I think the discussion though should yurn back to the harassment because I forsee OP ending up as the bad guy here because of that remarks

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 08/03/2023 15:22

ShipOfTheseus · 08/03/2023 15:16

None of this helps your argument. It’s irrelevant and makes you look like an awful prat.

Show quote history

I agree. I'm a middle-aged woman. Doesn't make me 'jellus' and want to complain about my neighbours Hmm

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 08/03/2023 15:25

ShakespearesBlister · 08/03/2023 15:20

Eh?? Unfortunately I am only seeing one person hijacking?

Show quote history

That was giving advice to the OP and inviting her to read the advice given to me. I didn't have a pop at another poster, as you have done to me.