Neighbour

[NicolaKing]

Long story! We brought our house April 2022. From around 5 weeks since we moved in our neighbour complained she could hear us. We said oh sorry sort of thing we’d just moved in putting things up and to be more mindful. Fast forward a year, throughout the year she’s complained multiple times to the housing association( we have shared owernship so only own half) they’ve looked into it we’ve done a sound test that’s passed, they’ve even come to our property to check the doors ect and they are satisfied that it is just normal household noise so they’ve now closed the case. Now since the neighbour has received the letter confirming nothing can be done due to everything being completed she’s now started to bang on the walls slam her doors it’s just getting really petty. I’m so stuck what to do as I can’t live like this she’s scaring my 2yo and I’m just generally upset with having to even think about what I’m doing. My partner works Monday-Friday and I work Saturday and Sunday so there’s hardly anyone over loud music ect. She’s always said it’s been a loud banging noise. My other neighbour who we are more attached to has no problems and cannot hear us at all so I don’t know whether she just is jealous or just has it in for us. We are a young couple (25&27) I have now reported to 101 as harassment so they are now looking into this. I was just wondering if anyone had gone through anything similar and knows how to settle my mind? Thank you

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants is this aimed at every single Middle Aged woman? No. Everyone has different personality types so only because one Middle Aged is a knob doesn't mean you are but if the shoe fits....

Please just offer OP advice and don't hijack xx

@ShakespearesBlister yes all reported both to 101 and HA. HA had no further advice for me as they've explored every avenue and everything's fine so the next was to go to 101 :)

Hi OP

What did 101 say when you called them? I had something similar happen but police would not help. I hope they help you though.

That's what I was trying to clarify. OP said she'd already done everything. I'm asking has she also done that as well because I think she may well need to now?

Could be it be something like your toddler playing or a washing machine going that’s making the banging noise?

Does she work/work from home? You mentioned you only work weekends so if that means your home Mon-Fri all day and night with toddler you will be making noise, might not be an unreasonable amount but maybe she was use to a quieter family or couple next door? Not saying your doing anything wrong just trying to think why she might be complaining…

I have had horrendous harassment from a neighbour who’s sister told me in confidence that the neighbour was struggling to cope with the fact that she had not been able to find a partner and have kids and was taking it out on anyone and everyone who had kids (including her own family). it was mainly the sound of the kids having fun in the garden we had complaints about.

So yes, this absolutely is a thing. I feel for you so much OP. We moved in the end. It was so horribly oppressive to come home to my mental health was shot to pieces.

Yeah but has the housing association written to HER and told her they have had complaints she is harassing you and set out what action they could take against her if it doesn't stop?

She’s a knob because she’s a knob, not because she’s middle aged or jealous. FWIW I’m a middle aged woman and the last thing I’d be is jealous of someone in their 20’s, being middle aged is great.

Keep reporting every single instance to the police using the case number they've given you. Email them or use the 'ask us' function through the local constabulary website to find out the name and email address of your local neighbourhood officer(s). Keep emailing and building up a case.

This should eventually prompt a police visit (it did with us!) but if not, send all the details and the case ref number to your local MP. Unfortunately this is a squeaky wheel gets the grease type situation. If you can keep detailed notes and get recordings even better. It's like GP's - you just have to keep battling until you get somewhere!

Good luck OP, neighbours like this cause so much distress. Hope your little one is OK xxx

You too.

@ShakespearesBlister supposedly so. They told me they had sent us both a letter to confirm no further action and everything has been done and come back fine. They also told me that they would tell her if she carry's on they would take action against her. I spoke to them again this morning as there was a big bang on the bedroom wall last night even though we was just watching tv they had no further advice just other than what they've told me!

@NicolaKing If the shoe fits? Maybe your neighbour has experienced this sort of attitude from you?

@Downwithallthis thank you! Xxx

This is good advice. I did contact the police, but they didn't keep the appointment, and as it calmed down for a while I chose to ignore her.

What you are going through is worse than me, by the sounds of it, though. You need to report it, keep records, and the MP contact is good advice.

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants she actually hasn't. I'm not a rude person until someone on the internet writes ridiculous stuff that there is no need for? Grow up I'm not arguing with you you are clearly just like her lol

Keeping records is a very good idea. Dated and timed and what happened etc as well as the affect it had - such as waking your toddler.

@PixieLaLa

So I'm home Monday- Friday my partner gets home around 5:30pm. Our neighbour works Monday-Friday till around the same time as him so it's not the noise in the day whilst he's playing. Then at that time it's dinner bath and bed for him. The most noise we make is in the day playing but she's always at work then

Ok, so then I would be making a further complaint against her for harassment and telling them you want them to do what they said they would and take action?

Oh that is not what I was expecting, maybe she is just bat shit crazy then!

@Cantseethewoodforthetree oh bless you. I feel it's a very similar situation

@PixieLaLa I think so too haha

Argh OP I feel for you! I’m having issues with my neighbour Inc false reports to the council amongst other things (which just get closed but still frustrating!)- I’ve been keeping a diary of things that happen, even small things, so that I have a written record over time of what’s happened. It sucks!

I get your comment about jealousy, I’ve wondered the same about my situation. I’m early 20s and own my house, and own my car. The house in question is rented by a group of men probs late 20ish? I’ve only seen them a few times.

@PuddlesPityParty oh bless you!! We've been keeping a diary too but how much longer can we just put up with it! Not fair. Hope you get sorted! Xx

So sorry OP, I went through similar and the situation only changed when the neighbour moved out. It was an extremely stressful time, we too only had completely normal living life with DC type noise, DC were very young, we had no friends round ever, and even our perfectly reasonable noise was done by around 8pm at the latest once the DC were in bed. The irony was this person also had a young DC who I could hear, plus her arguing with various boyfriends and having people round. I never complained because why would I? It's just people living life.

FWIW I was young and she was probably even a bit younger, single mum with a toddler my DC's age. Some people are just very entitled and also unpleasant.