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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he shouldn't be like this?

58 replies

SunsetsInVenice · 07/03/2023 21:47

Based on a simple misunderstanding?
DH said this Saturday gone that he may be home for a conference call which was happening at lunchtime today. He doesn't get set lunch hours so left it that he would text me to confirm. We only have the one housekey as I lost the other so he needed me to be at home to let him in.
I didn't hear anything all morning so went to gym. When I finished my class, there were numerous texts on my phone saying that he was outside the front door and assumed I would be at home after what he had said. I told him I had heard nothing from him but he said 'You know I couldn't have let you know the day before as I don't know my exact lunch hours day to day so could only have let you know this morning.'
Got home and he's in a foul mood. Aibu to say he should have been clearer ?

OP posts:
Knitterofcrap · 07/03/2023 21:50

How long ago did you lose the house key and why haven’t you replaced it?

I think I would have messaged him saying I am off to the gym at x time, not sure if you were still planning to come home at lunchtime.

MamaCanYouBuyMeABanana · 07/03/2023 21:51

You should have probably text and asked before you left, he assumed you would be there because he told you about the call, and it's you that lost the house key. I would be pissed off too tbh.

Go get another key cut tomorrow.

BeetyAxe · 07/03/2023 21:51

This seems like your fault. You should’ve at least had your phone on you to see if he needed in. And also you lost the other key so you should’ve been taking some responsibility and making sure you were there to let him in.

BernadetteIsMySister · 07/03/2023 21:52

Less gym, more shopping for a new key

Eyerollcentral · 07/03/2023 21:53

I also would have text. Or text and said I’m away to the gym I’ve left the key under a pot. And get a key cut tomorrow ffs

OnaBegonia · 07/03/2023 21:53

A key is £5/10 to get cut.

EarringsandLipstick · 07/03/2023 21:53

Aibu to say he should have been clearer ?

He should have been clearer. If you only have 1 key, he needed to fix a time; not having set lunch hours can't be the excuse.

However, equally you heading off to the gym with the only key is really silly too.

Moral of the tale - you need to get more keys cut!

ChickenDhansak82 · 07/03/2023 21:54

You lost your key and knew he'd be home at some point so your fault for going out.

You owe him an apology.

Original poster
SunsetsInVenice · 07/03/2023 21:55

I just assumed he would have said yesterday night 'I will be at home roughly between 12-1PM for the call, can you let me in?'
He didn't say anything so assumed he had changed his mind about coming home.

OP posts:
sammylady37 · 07/03/2023 21:56

SunsetsInVenice · 07/03/2023 21:55

I just assumed he would have said yesterday night 'I will be at home roughly between 12-1PM for the call, can you let me in?'
He didn't say anything so assumed he had changed his mind about coming home.

Was there a reason you didn’t ask him, or mention that you’d be going to the gym?

EarringsandLipstick · 07/03/2023 21:56

SunsetsInVenice · 07/03/2023 21:55

I just assumed he would have said yesterday night 'I will be at home roughly between 12-1PM for the call, can you let me in?'
He didn't say anything so assumed he had changed his mind about coming home.

Oh that's nonsense & petty.

Unless you don't like him, you'd never make this assumption & would check.

Fizzadora · 07/03/2023 21:57

SunsetsInVenice · 07/03/2023 21:55

I just assumed he would have said yesterday night 'I will be at home roughly between 12-1PM for the call, can you let me in?'
He didn't say anything so assumed he had changed his mind about coming home.

Stop making excuses and get another key cut. In fact get two cut so that you have a spare.
This is all on you.

NomadicSpirit · 07/03/2023 21:57

I was going to say you were being unreasonable, but then I reread and saw you said your husband was going to confirm if he had the conference call or not. If he didn't confirm, then I think you were justified to go to the gym.

But yes, you should get another key cut.

Undermyumberellaellaella · 07/03/2023 21:59

Well you should have another key cut so you both have a key.

He should have been clearer and let you know a rough time at least. But if I were you, I would have messaged saying I was going to the gym and then you would have probably got a reply from him either way.

Ihatethenewlook · 07/03/2023 21:59

Yabu just on the basis that you lost your key, so he should be in possession of the other one until you got yourself a second one cut. Or you should have left it outside somewhere

ladyofshertonabbas · 07/03/2023 22:00

One key? That’s insane. Just get one cut!

PhantomOfTheAquarium · 07/03/2023 22:00

I think it's unreasonable you've been left with the only house key when you lost the other one.

PhantomOfTheAquarium · 07/03/2023 22:00

Also, if you've got time to go to the gym you've got time to get another key cut.

Eyerollcentral · 07/03/2023 22:01

Why do you two have such a poor communication style? If I thought my partner was coming home and I was going out I’d text him? You both seem a bit childish tbh. Also if you lose a key you make it a priority to replace it, and as others have said got a spare and leave it at a neighbour or friend’s.

NomadicSpirit · 07/03/2023 22:01

ChickenDhansak82 · 07/03/2023 21:54

You lost your key and knew he'd be home at some point so your fault for going out.

You owe him an apology.

She didn't know. He said he would confirm. He didn't confirm. He turned up with no notification and got angry. I'd say he was in the wrong.

TheLaughOfRustyLee · 07/03/2023 22:02

This is the dullest thread I've ever clicked on

Original poster
SunsetsInVenice · 07/03/2023 22:02

Well his argument is that I should have known he couldn't have given me an exact time until the actual day because he doesn't have a set lunch hour so I should have been aware of that and at home waiting for his call to confirm.

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 07/03/2023 22:03

SunsetsInVenice · 07/03/2023 22:02

Well his argument is that I should have known he couldn't have given me an exact time until the actual day because he doesn't have a set lunch hour so I should have been aware of that and at home waiting for his call to confirm.

So he's wrong on this. As you are not to check with him before going out.

Do you guys communicate at all?

Pinkypurplecloud · 07/03/2023 22:03

I think you’re unreasonable to be out over possible lunchtime hours, given what he’d said. And given you are the person who lost the key I’d expect you to be inconvenienced not him.

And the pair of you are absolutely ridiculous trying to share one front door key - no functional adult can work that way and surely almost everyone has spare keys?! Get a few more keys cut.

PearlClutzsche · 07/03/2023 22:04

This is the dullest thread I've ever clicked on

🤣🤣

Swipe left for the next trending thread