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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Newport Car Crash

127 replies

RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 19:01

I am very saddened to read of the death of three friends from Newport, and of the horror of the other two sitting in the car next to their dead friends for two days and nights.

I'm not sure why the police were unable to act faster - surely there is a window for life with a missing person, and the faster they are found, after going missing for whatever reason, the better.

The police suggested to one of the mums that they would turn up with hangovers. All five of them? Really?

I seem to remember things being better than this in the past, but perhaps it varies by force. But why should that be? I saw a thread on here over the weekend about this, before they were found and some posters suggested a car accident. It would have been so easy to send some patrols out on likely routes. I can't help but think that they might all have survived if found faster. 46 hours is just hellish to wait.

So I wanted to ask as many of you who would want to, to get one of the free family tracking apps on your phone. I have life 360 and when I broke down at night in the snow in the middle of nowhere, with two babies in the back, and I called the police, they were very uninterested. My parents found me on the app and were there within an hour, and they would have done so if i was unconscious. After 46 hours my phone would have run out of charge, but if those young people had had something like this, who knows, it may have turned out differently.

I guess my aibu is to ask if aibu to think it could save lives to use such an app. It's free and obviously there is no benefit to me, it's not my app.

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 06/03/2023 20:02

I don’t think it’s helpful to speculate on what police may or may not have said/done. Police referred themselves to internal watchdog. I’m mindful young adults have died and it’s all very raw for all concerned

similar event happened in Scotland an RTA with two passengers and the male died,the female was seriously injured died later in hospital. The car was found in a secluded location off track

In general, most people reported missing do indeed turn up after 2-3 days absence

apps, it’s a personal choice. Not everyone wants to be visible and to be tracked. It can be misused too or feel prohibitive to be monitored . I get you’re ok with it and that’s fine,it’s not a universal sentiment

RiktheButler · 06/03/2023 20:08

Is your post about tracking apps or an unnecessary attack on the Police?

SunshineGeorgie · 06/03/2023 20:10

Seems fashionable to try to blame the police these days

Awful!

Kedece2410 · 06/03/2023 20:11

Could you not just have posted about the merits of a tracking up without turning this into another police bashing post

It would have been so easy to send some patrols out on likely routes. I can't help but think that they might all have survived if found faster

Ffs you think that wasn't done. There was a large search involving 2 forces & members of the public. One of the victims families was at one point 20 yards from the car and didn't see it. Nor did the thousands of motorists who drove the road after the crash

Swannning · 06/03/2023 20:11

DSD went to school with the girls, she is naturally really upset. However I don't think it would encourage her to share location info with us - she frequently goes almost a week without making contact - she is at Uni several hundred miles away from us.

When the DC got iphones one of the conditions was that they would add me on FMF and they haven't ever taken me off, but likewise I share my location with them and it is useful to know if / when they will be home for tea etc

RunTowardsTheLight · 06/03/2023 20:12

There were people searching though OP. Not just the police but local people (friends and family) too. The car must have been in a location that was difficult to spot. I think "easy to send some patrols out on likely routes" is underplaying the situation.

drpet49 · 06/03/2023 20:12

Kedece2410 · 06/03/2023 20:11

Could you not just have posted about the merits of a tracking up without turning this into another police bashing post

It would have been so easy to send some patrols out on likely routes. I can't help but think that they might all have survived if found faster

Ffs you think that wasn't done. There was a large search involving 2 forces & members of the public. One of the victims families was at one point 20 yards from the car and didn't see it. Nor did the thousands of motorists who drove the road after the crash

This. How many cars drove past and yet no a single one saw the crashed car.

BertaHoon · 06/03/2023 20:13

Give it a rest. People are grieving.

I'm sure they'll take your opinion into consideration in due course. Never.

Moonicorn · 06/03/2023 20:14

It’s very sad. Sad things happen. The police are not clairvoyants, we’re too used to blaming public services for everything.

Zone2NorthLondon · 06/03/2023 20:14

A car can be concealed by flora and fauna, hidden from view in urban area
Lets see what emerges
Dreadful accident, with fatalities and critically ill survivors

ImAvingOops · 06/03/2023 20:16

The police told the mum of one of the girls to stop phoning the station for updates. They appear to have been very dismissive of the fact that five people went missing. They deserve criticism imo!
I have Life360 for my dd who is a teen. And dh and I both have it. But my adult sons (same ages as the young people who died) wouldn't want it - I think they'd think it was invasive to have someone able to track their movements. Tbh, I wish they'd have it because I do worry when they are driving at night and late home

Womencanlift · 06/03/2023 20:16

FFS another thread. The other one is bad enough. Was awful before the car was found with all the armchair detectives who have not learned anything from a month ago, and those who have continued both victim and police blaming

TheLaughOfRustyLee · 06/03/2023 20:18

I think this was just one of those horrifically tragic events which is really hard for the police to piece together. Seems to be a spate of them. It's really devastating.

SunshineGeorgie · 06/03/2023 20:18

Telling someone there is no need to keep calling, we will let you know of any developments does NOT mean the police deserve criticism!

Enthrallingstory · 06/03/2023 20:19

5 people don't generally go missing simultaneously though, too awful to contemplate

viques · 06/03/2023 20:21

I would just like to say how pleased I was to read that the police had removed and arrested a man who was apparently continually trying to get close to the crash site. Good for them. People who think that crash sites, or other places where people have died or been injured are there for their entertainment are sick in the head.

Kedece2410 · 06/03/2023 20:21

SunshineGeorgie · 06/03/2023 20:18

Telling someone there is no need to keep calling, we will let you know of any developments does NOT mean the police deserve criticism!

Exactly. And everytime she phoned an officer involved in the enquiry had to stop what they were doing to phone her back & say there was no new developments. I'm sure they'd have assured her she'd be first to know if that changed

bhiffandcip · 06/03/2023 20:22

When dd was involved in a car crash her phone was smashed and never recovered. A tracking app wouldn't have helped (we tried to find it via find my iPhone)

badgermushrooms · 06/03/2023 20:23

@Zone2NorthLondon the one in Scotland was on the verge of the M9 on the outskirts of Stirling, so hardly secluded, and if I recall correctly the crashed car had been reported to the police who wrote it down on a piece of paper which was then lost. An element of scepticism regarding police actions/inactions is not unwarranted.

Zone2NorthLondon · 06/03/2023 20:25

A busy weekend desk sergeant and/or station cannot repeatedly take calls requesting updates. taking that calls draws them away from other tasks. Yes you would be advised to wait on an update
I'd hope that’s conveyed in a tactful and sensitive manner and I appreciate as a concerned parent it’s a fraught time

HobnobsChoice · 06/03/2023 20:26

There was a case about 6 years ago where a man was missing for a week and had died after crashing and the car was obscured by trees. It not unheard of for it to happen.
www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-tees-38573790
The families must feel devastated and obviously want answers. There will be an inquest in due course which will hopefully give them some answers.

ImAvingOops · 06/03/2023 20:27

I think saying that to the mum does deserve criticism - she must have been out of her mind with worry. And saying she'll turn up hungover, when it was out of character for her not to come home. Five people don't just go out and none of them make any contact unless something bad had happened

Zone2NorthLondon · 06/03/2023 20:27

badgermushrooms · 06/03/2023 20:23

@Zone2NorthLondon the one in Scotland was on the verge of the M9 on the outskirts of Stirling, so hardly secluded, and if I recall correctly the crashed car had been reported to the police who wrote it down on a piece of paper which was then lost. An element of scepticism regarding police actions/inactions is not unwarranted.

Ok, thanks for clarification I thought it was more secluded.
Scepticism of statutory institutions is no bad thing I have no issue with inquisitiveness and challenges.

Original poster
RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 20:28

I'm not criticising the police. I don't know why what happened, happened. I don't know why they weren't found for so long.

I didn't know about family apps until about three years ago, and it got me rescued when I didn't know where I was.

If my post can encourage even one person to get the app and it does a bit of good in the future, that's all I would hope for.

Why people on this site have to be so aggressive, I have no idea. If you disagree, scroll past. I have links to Newport, this news has saddened me.

OP posts:
musicforthesoul · 06/03/2023 20:28

I'm assuming wherever the car was found it wasn't visible from the road.

It's a tough balancing act for the police, realistically the vast majority of people missing the morning after a night out are just hungover/carried on the party somewhere and they'll make contact later in the day. It may have been unusual for these poor people but generally it wouldn't strike me as in any way suspicious until the following evening at least. Not sure how long it took for the police to start looking for them.