To quit my job over this

[morningsicknessagain]

I loved my job until recently when a new girl started, she's really lovely, popular and friendly but she's just too much for me.
Ever since she joined the team I'm feeling permanently drained from her larger than life personality and as an introvert I am feeling completely burnt out and overwhelmed in her presence even though she hasn't done anything wrong and is a very nice person I just can't concentrate around her.
Will it get better or is it time to find another job, I've been here 18 years and love the work and other team members but I'm quiet and she just completely depletes me.

Just a question: Do you feel threatened by this person? Your reaction is very strong and you haven't given a real outline of the issue, other than she has a 'larger than life' personality. Does this mean she is loud and disruptive? (You also say she hasn't 'done anything wrong').
What exactly is she doing to make you feel this way? Then we can give advice on how to stop her doing it!

A quite silly reason to leave a job of 18 years, unless you just really want a change and are looking for an excuse to do it.

I'm not threatened by her, I just find her very tiring as I'm an introvert and she's extrovert I feel very drained by her.
She's a lovely girl, she's just too much for me as she is very loud and theatrical all day long without a pause.

Is there an opportunity to move teams within the office?

Sounds like a nightmare even at a party, never mind at work.

I understand OP, do you think you could have a quiet chat with her and ask her to tone it down sometimes? Or even just explain you think she's lovely but as an introvert you struggle with x, y and z?

I used to work in an office with someone like this, overly extroverted (but obnoxious too) and some days I'd just have to sit in the toilet and cry because it was too much.

I worked with someone like this. Honestly if you went to Tenerife she’d been to eleventyrife, anything anyone had done at the weekend her weekend had been better and she just couldn’t shut up, it was exhausting. I left last year because management couldn't/wouldn’t deal with her as did another 4 people, I felt like a weight had been lifted when I left.

she is very loud and theatrical all day long without a pause.

"Sorry Jane, but could you keep it down a bit as I'm trying to concentrate on my work (and I have a deadline)"

Why wouldn't you just ask her to calm down and be quieter?

What about the other two. Are they happy to have a new gobby team member?!

@morningsicknessagain
Breaking down

What's the main behaviours ?

I think there are people like this everywhere so moving jobs might not solve it, might even be worse if there are more of them! Sometimes you just have to let it go over your head.

Absolutely no bad behaviour, it's just loud verbal diarrhoea all day long which I find relentless but am completely aware that it's my issue and she is just being herself but I find it too much and it's exhausting.
I just find someone that extroverted sucks all my energy almost immediately leaving me completely depleted and then I struggle with the rest of the day.
I get home exhausted with a headache and feel burnt out which I have never felt in 18 years of working here with various people.
I have given it a couple of months but am becoming more and more irritable the more I am around her.
I don't dislike her I just can't work with her.

How do your other team mates cope? Have you spoken to them about her or they to you? How long has she been there?

I think you're being a bit too understanding actually. Why should someone be allowed to charter aimlessly all day when its disturbing peoples work? Even if there wasnt the introvert / extrovert issue, a lot of people would find it irritating and distracting. She has to realise that although she might like to constantly talk, you do not want to constantly listen. I think you could maybe try and sort it first, just approach it from a 'I love talking and listening to you so much that I'm finding I'm not actually getting as much work done' and work together to come up with a solution

Can you move seats? WFH some days? Maybe breaking up the week will help. Not read whole threat so sorry if already covered.

Is she not doing any work? Does your manager not object to someone wittering on all day long?

I often find the same thing @morningsicknessagain with people who are too much/loud/talk too much. It's hard in confined spaces.

Is there an HR or very trust worthy manager you could speak to? Is there a way to get small breaks? Take lunch at a different time so you have two hours without having to listen? Move your desk? WFH mid week so that you never have more than 2 days in a row?

I wouldn't quit until you have something else lined up. Can you start applying? That alone may help you feel less stuck.

As an extrovert in an introvert office, I'll tell you that many times I feel like I can't hack working with my current team. The silence bothers me so much, it exhausts me and makes me unproductive. All I can hear is the click of mice. There are two sides to everything and it's really hard being the new person. It's hard for you too but really, it's very difficult to guarantee your ideal workplace. I'd try some different strategies if possible as even if you do move they might work there too.

How on earth does she manage to do her job and keep up the verbal diarrhoea at the same time?

I feel for you OP as I think I'd feel the same in your shoes too - I've got a couple of friends like this and I'm always very happy for the peace after a meet up.

No helpful suggestions from me I'm afraid, just these: 💐

I agree with PP, I am this person. I wouldn’t mind you being honest and setting boundaries. Try all options first. You might grow to like her. You have nothing to loose if you are thinking of quiting

Speak to your manager! I had one of my team mention something similar to me regarding a person and how loud they was which made it difficult to concentrate. Best way I dealt with it was every time she'd get a bit loud I'd ask her a question regarding her work, something very minor and it did stop a few weeks later. But please don't leave yet until you've spoken to your manager.

OP, PP mentioned them but I don't know if you saw it?

Loop earplugs. They're different 'strengths' for want of a better word, and hopefully one would be right for your situation. They don't block hearing everything like normal earplugs.

I've heard from colleagues that use them in similar situations that they're fantastic.

www.loopearplugs.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=trgt_uk_search_brand_loopearplugs&gclid=CjwKCAiAmJGgBhAZEiwA1JZolssYOhuwXzEUmsa-R8247duPDs6s8S7AJ-xxaFNcSC82HAqUzhdEqRoCLGMQAvD_BwE

That's understandable,

Also, I know it's more 'noise' but could you float the idea of having a radio on if that would be easier for you to tune out? If she's 'filling silence' due to her being an extrovert and finding it uncomfortable, maybe having some background noise help?

I think the people blaming you for being overly dramatic OP have never worked in a small environment with a few people. It is intense. And it is ALL about the people you work with.

I think you've been very lucky for 18 years if you haven't had a personality clash within your work environment before. Would it be such a bad thing to have a change of scenery after 18 years?