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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBVB - Am I being very British (lighthearted thread)

138 replies

Wills · 04/03/2023 21:18

I want to know situations where you think to yourself "No other culture would do this! I'm sooo British"
So for me we have 4 kids and despite warning them that it's their planet and could they turn off lights as well as energy bills are going up etc they fail consistently. So Dh has lost it and changed the worst offending light switches to ones that react to Alexa so that we can go to bed and basically say "Alexa turn off all lights". The thing is that whenever I give Alexa a command and it does it I always say thank you. I'm responding to a computer with politeness, enough so that my younger kids are doing the same and the older ones just laugh. Anyone else have similar examples of being very British.?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wills · 04/03/2023 22:11

ScarletWitchM · 04/03/2023 22:05

I always say please when ordering anything (like a coffee) but notice others just say I’ll have a xxxxxx (no please or thanks) also always thank the bus driver when getting off the bus & give a hand up thanks if crossing the road - my kids have learned from me and also do it but I see less of it from other people (especially in London)

Show quote history

Oh me too!

OP posts:
Overthinkingnotdrinking · 04/03/2023 22:19

Being too polite to shout at a taxi driver falling asleep to wake him up on the way home from the airport. It felt rude. We’d just been staying with Italian friends and said if it had happened with them in the car they would have just shouted “you’re falling asleep” at the driver in an assertive friendly way.

cassiatwenty · 04/03/2023 22:28
MarshaMelrose · 04/03/2023 22:38

The reason why we are so polite in our speech is because, unlike many languages, we don't have a polite form of "you". Hence we have to show how polite we are in phrases. So instead of the simple, “can you pass me the salt” with a polite you form, we end up saying, "would you mind passing the salt", etc.

Fairislefandango · 04/03/2023 22:41

Superb, however whilst it does capture a lot of British Lad culture I'm sort of after the more 'gentile' version.

Shock Ummm.... I'm assuming you meant 'genteel'!

MyMachineAndMe · 04/03/2023 22:42

At Christmas I was singing and dancing along to Slade in the kitchen with the radio turned up. The chips were in the oven, the frying pan ready for the eggs, and I was using a mini bottle of wine as a makeshift microphone. I stopped part way through my routine to pour a cup of tea from the pot under the teacosy.

KickAssAngel · 04/03/2023 22:46

I went out for brunch with my sister and family and had several cups of tea there. Then I went back to my sister's house to pick up my bags before driving to see my Mum. I was only there for 5 minutes, but of course I had a cup of tea before I left.

ODFOx · 04/03/2023 22:53

My Scottish stepmother snaps back to all attempts at politeness from me or my siblings or children with 'stop apologising! 'Why are you asking permission? ' Or ' if you want to just do it/just go 'etc etc.
it is so exhausting being around her that my adult son (with ASD) has asked that we don't go again and my siblings and I are all stepping back. It's a shame because she is kind really and is good for my Dad it's just that she is so damn rude to everyone else that it better for family harmony if we all just avoid them. 😞

sendbackaletterfromamerica · 04/03/2023 22:54

ODFOx · 04/03/2023 22:53

My Scottish stepmother snaps back to all attempts at politeness from me or my siblings or children with 'stop apologising! 'Why are you asking permission? ' Or ' if you want to just do it/just go 'etc etc.
it is so exhausting being around her that my adult son (with ASD) has asked that we don't go again and my siblings and I are all stepping back. It's a shame because she is kind really and is good for my Dad it's just that she is so damn rude to everyone else that it better for family harmony if we all just avoid them. 😞

Absolutely nothing to do with being Scottish.

hadtoomuchsleep · 04/03/2023 22:55

ODFOx · 04/03/2023 22:53

My Scottish stepmother snaps back to all attempts at politeness from me or my siblings or children with 'stop apologising! 'Why are you asking permission? ' Or ' if you want to just do it/just go 'etc etc.
it is so exhausting being around her that my adult son (with ASD) has asked that we don't go again and my siblings and I are all stepping back. It's a shame because she is kind really and is good for my Dad it's just that she is so damn rude to everyone else that it better for family harmony if we all just avoid them. 😞

#notallscottish

ODFOx · 04/03/2023 22:56

Probably not. Just feistier than the English side of the family!

ScottishLavender · 04/03/2023 22:57

ODFOx · 04/03/2023 22:53

My Scottish stepmother snaps back to all attempts at politeness from me or my siblings or children with 'stop apologising! 'Why are you asking permission? ' Or ' if you want to just do it/just go 'etc etc.
it is so exhausting being around her that my adult son (with ASD) has asked that we don't go again and my siblings and I are all stepping back. It's a shame because she is kind really and is good for my Dad it's just that she is so damn rude to everyone else that it better for family harmony if we all just avoid them. 😞

That's not because she's Scottish. She's just rude.

waddlemyway · 04/03/2023 23:01

I’m with you OP!!

AIBVB - Am I being very British (lighthearted thread)
Onesailwait · 04/03/2023 23:18

@MolesEdgeworth - Canadians definitely apologize to each other a lot. But they are extremely passive aggressive so it doesn't come across in the same way as Brits.

awakeandanxiouss · 04/03/2023 23:24

When there’s a flicker of the lights in our house, indicating a possible powercut, the first thing we do is boil a full kettle to make sure we can still have a cup of tea! 🤣 it doesn’t happen often but when the weather is bad it can sometimes cut out and tea is always the biggest concern. Everything else we accept.

Hawkins003 · 04/03/2023 23:25

The best British moments are from the character Giles from Buffy

LongLostTeacher · 05/03/2023 00:58

Today I walked past a woman walking towards me in a restaurant. We weren’t in each other’s way, we could easily move past each other with no difficulties. But we looked each other in the eye and both said sorry. Sorry for what though? Accidentally making eye contact maybe? It actually annoyed me.

Wednesdaysotherchild · 05/03/2023 01:11

DP and in laws are from another Northern EU country - I have learnt my British ways are:

drink a lot of tea
say things impliedly or in a roundabout way
humour/banter (this might be coming from an Irish family actually)
express emotions more (Brits are actually quite emosh, I have come to see
watch a lot of tv

MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 05/03/2023 01:20

ODFOx · 04/03/2023 22:53

My Scottish stepmother snaps back to all attempts at politeness from me or my siblings or children with 'stop apologising! 'Why are you asking permission? ' Or ' if you want to just do it/just go 'etc etc.
it is so exhausting being around her that my adult son (with ASD) has asked that we don't go again and my siblings and I are all stepping back. It's a shame because she is kind really and is good for my Dad it's just that she is so damn rude to everyone else that it better for family harmony if we all just avoid them. 😞

you may find her exhausting, but it sounds as though she finds you all to be exhausting too.

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 05/03/2023 01:27

I have changed the settings on Siri so he calls me Darling. 😳

Rifalo · 05/03/2023 01:40

Hawkins003 · 04/03/2023 23:25

The best British moments are from the character Giles from Buffy

Agreed!

Mammothwoollyjumper · 05/03/2023 01:43

When taking the mick and being sarcastic - think this British humour is quite special (but takes a lot of getting used too) are there other sarcastic countries out there? Know it's always jarred and confused American friends

marchella · 05/03/2023 01:48

British heritage only here, though was raised and live in a Commonwealth country. I constantly tell off my 11yo for not saying please to Siri when he asks her a question. It's ingrained. I think he thinks I'm mad, but I will win this war and he will be "pleasing and thanking" computers and profusely apologising to streetlights and cupboards for walking into them , same as me before long.

marchella · 05/03/2023 01:49

Mammothwoollyjumper · 05/03/2023 01:43

When taking the mick and being sarcastic - think this British humour is quite special (but takes a lot of getting used too) are there other sarcastic countries out there? Know it's always jarred and confused American friends

Australian and NZ humour is very similar.

Whenharrymetsmelly · 05/03/2023 01:57

nz101 · 04/03/2023 21:34

I knew before I clicked on this thread that it would be about manners. I don't understand where the idea that manners are British came from - other countries and cultures have manners too!

Not to mention, they barely exist on MN! I'd never think being on mumsnet that British people are polite at all, they seem like introverts who hate people and if anything extremely aggressive and rude 🤔

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