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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still be cutting up my 4 year old's grapes?

209 replies

surreygirl1987 · 04/03/2023 20:12

Was at a party this afternoon. The host had an amazing fruit platter prepared for the kids in the village hall. Grapes weren't cut up. Most parents plonked grapes on their kids' places without cutting them, or let the kids help themselves. These are 3-4 years olds. I plucked a bunch off and tore them into smaller pieces for my 4 year old (as I know grapes are a choking hazard). Am I the one being unreasonable here or are the other parents? I do think I was the only one that was bothered but I thought grapes can still be risky at 4...? What do other parents do??

OP posts:
JuneWind · 04/03/2023 20:13

Not sure about other parents, but my DD is 4 soon and I still cut her grapes up (and cherry tomatoes). Not sure if still needed but I think for minimal effort why take the risk?!

ThaQuilomum · 04/03/2023 20:14

YADNBU. Know of a four year old boy who died from choking on a grape. Paramedics on the scene were unable to remove it. Desperately sad. I only just stopped chopping my 7 year old's grapes.

FrodisCapering · 04/03/2023 20:15

My son is 4.3 and I still cuts his grapes into quarters.
He is also still rear-facing in his car seat.
You make the decisions you think are right for your own child.

Pinkypurplecloud · 04/03/2023 20:15

I cut grapes in half lengthwise for everyone, adults included, though once my children were school age I didn’t particularly mind if they had uncut ones. In the context of three year olds wandering around at a party I’d definitely have expected them to be cut.

Mamamia7962 · 04/03/2023 20:16

Yes I would still cut them up, even when they are older. I remember reading about a child who choked on a grape at school. I know that is rare but I would still not risk it.

ReadersD1gest · 04/03/2023 20:16

You are not remotely unreasonable, op.

Zapx · 04/03/2023 20:16

I chop my 4yo grapes. Choking is still risky at 4 I think?

MumofSpud · 04/03/2023 20:17

I cut up my DC's grapes until they were in their early teensBlush
My brother choked when I was 12, he was 10 and it was horrific- we were with my gran and I had to do the Heimlich Manoeuvre as he turned blue.
He was ok in the end but I know this has gave me huge anxiety over choking

BevMarsh · 04/03/2023 20:17

Well my dc are 11&13 and if they eat grapes I make them eat them in front of me (won't allow them to take them upstairs to their rooms like I do other fruit).
Until a couple of years ago I was halving them and putting them in bowls too.
Maybe I'm overly anxious but you definitely are not being unreasonable cutting up your 4yo child's grapes.

TheGirlWhoLived · 04/03/2023 20:17

In my home town a 7 year old choked to death in pizza express on an uncut grape. They stopped doing grapes after that

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 04/03/2023 20:17

Yup still a risk even for adults. I would definitely be cutting them up at that age.

TheGirlWhoLived · 04/03/2023 20:18

I make my dd’s bite grapes in half when eating them- so half at a time. Ds gets his in quarters

Original poster
surreygirl1987 · 04/03/2023 20:19

Phew. Okay thanks. Good to know I'm not mad. I ALWAYS cut up their grapes and was surprised to see so many small kids today just eating them whole and nobody seemed bothered- I just wondered if I was an over-anxious weirdo since I was the only one who seemed to care about it. I will definitely carry on cutting up his grapes, party or not. Many thanks everyone for clarifying.

OP posts:
TheGirlWhoLived · 04/03/2023 20:19

I always feel blueberries and olives are dubious shapes too so I cut these aswell!

DeathMetalMum · 04/03/2023 20:19

I cut dd2's still she's 10 in primary school. I've stopped cutting dd1's now she's in high school.

PensionPuzzle · 04/03/2023 20:20

I think I will be for a long time, it's no real trouble to make them smaller so I think it's worth doing! I've relaxed a bit with blueberries now unless they are the big dumpy ones but I still chop them where possible.

Thatiswild · 04/03/2023 20:20

Our primary school asks us to cut all grapes that come into school, yanbu

CornishTiger · 04/03/2023 20:21

I’d chop them too. Anyone got the oxogrips thing. Any good?

grayhairdontcare · 04/03/2023 20:21

I work in a nursery and grapes and cherry tomatoes are not allowed in the building, regardless of how they are cut.

Original poster
surreygirl1987 · 04/03/2023 20:21

I always feel blueberries and olives are dubious shapes too so I cut these aswell!

So do I actually. Makes sense!

OP posts:
Original poster
surreygirl1987 · 04/03/2023 20:21

I work in a nursery and grapes and cherry tomatoes are not allowed in the building, regardless of how they are cut.

👍

OP posts:
Heyheyitsanotherday · 04/03/2023 20:21

YDNBU. I cut up my almost 8 year olds still! Think il do it until they’re at secondary school. Don’t care what anyone thinks. I just wouldn’t risk it. I’m super careful with sausage too! They’re also not allowed hard lollipops. I am that paranoid mother!

mummabubs · 04/03/2023 20:22

I still cut my five year old's grapes and have no sense of stopping it anytime soon.

ReadersD1gest · 04/03/2023 20:22

PensionPuzzle · 04/03/2023 20:20

I think I will be for a long time, it's no real trouble to make them smaller so I think it's worth doing! I've relaxed a bit with blueberries now unless they are the big dumpy ones but I still chop them where possible.

I think blueberries are less risky because they squash into mush in a way grapes don't. But I know what you mean...

Hercisback · 04/03/2023 20:23

I don't.
I have taught him to bite them every time.

I watch him like a hawk.

Nursery do expect them chopped.