To want to take my computer and a hammer and liberally apply the latter to the former and then

[hecate]

take all the little bits and drive over them and then take the flat little bits and stamp on them and then take them to a scrapyard and put them in the crusher and then take the cube and the aforementioned hammer and smash up the cube into little pieces and then spit on them and then piss on them and then throw the pieces into a volcano and then, and then, and then....

Fine. Nobody cares about my horrible, evil, psychotic computer. No problem. bollocks to the lot of you.

You'll be sorry when it eventually beats me and I disappear from the net forever.

wassup?

I care, Hecate, I really care.

I have had bad times recently, with a computer that is making crunching noises.

Too late. Don't pretend you care now!

No, it needs reprogramming with a mallet that's all. Keeps freezing, takes ages to bring anything up, keeps shutting down word and excel and so on and so forth.

I am taking it to a computer guy when I have the cash, it's just pissing me off tonight becuse I am trying to order some stuff for my bils birthday but it keeps "Blah Blah Blah is not responding" freezing on me so I can't do it.

YANBU - I feel your pain. Ds1's laptop is back at Hewlett Packard (NEVER BUY HEWLETT PACKARD!!!) again.

err, can i just point out that is if you smash it to tiny pieces as per your op.... you wont be able to mn.....?

I hate computers. I hate Bill Gates. I hate the person who wrote the pdf programme thingy that keeps crashing my computer.

I know how you feel.

And I think I deleted the photos of our anniversary holiday in Rome in September by mistake.

It was the pissing on it Hecate.. it was just too much for us.. you has our sympathy up until that point

no mn?

Kinder - get to the recycle bin! They should be in there if you didn't empty it.

hewlett packard are shite.

Bill gates is the devil (allegedly)

too vulgar, Shiny?

weebles
No there is no hope, I had to rethingy the computer, what do you call it when you take every thing off and start again. I thought I had saved the photos onto a disc but can't find.

Not vulgar.. just borderline kinky

OK have you tried the following:

making sure virus software is up to date. when did you last do a FULL scan. Do one tonight ti could take a while.

have you recently added anything new to it?

have you checked how much free space is left on your hard drive?

how old is the offending badly behaved machine

Finally have you tired the naughty step?

The solution is to buy an far fewer viruses and works straight out of the box

Mine is the same age as DH's laptop - he is getting frustrated as his is getting slower and slower, never had a prob with mine.

and I am in love with the new macbook air - do you think I can justify it as an acceptable baby expense

yanbu. Computers are the spawn of the devil.

(and just in case my computer knows what I've just typed, I don't mean that. Not at all.)

Computers give me a living!

LINUX anyone?

i love linux!.. everything's so simple

Yup.

Get a Mac.

Mine still freezes every now and again, but generally it's good. It's 5 years old, I use it every day and I've never had to wipe it or get it fixed.

On the other hand, I use a pc at work and every day I want to put the f**king thing on the train tracks.

Linux?? Wasn't he Lucy's brother in Peanuts?

No, don't get a Mac. You can't open loads of attachments (and other people can't open yours - really annoying when you want to email invoices), they cost a fortune and you can't use really basic programs (which I need for my college course, grrrr) such as Excel. Mine is also extremely snooty about which printer it will deign to work with.

Um. Not getting techy or anything but you do get Excel for Mac's, you get most microsoft programmes for Mac's.

Maybe it's just my useless machine then