AIBU - She shouldn't have said this at the funeral?

[CalmReserve]

Dave and Jane are happily married with 2 children. Dave works with Sarah.
Jane has cancer and passes away.
Dave quits work for a while to look after the kids.
Over the years Dave has several relationships, nothing lasting. 15 years later he reconnects with Sarah who gets divorced to marry Dave.
A few years later Dave dies in an accident.

At Dave's funeral Sarah has the officiant read out a eulogy she has written about their relationship. Part of which states they used to flirt all the time when they worked together, basically hinting they had a thing at the time when Dave was married to Jane.

AIBU to think this was totally inappropriate and disrespectful to Dave and Jane's kids and Jane's family- some of whom were at the funeral? Even if it was true, I just feel it doesn't need to be said at the funeral! There's a time and place. It's not like Dave and Jane even got divorced! They might have still been happily married had she not died.

Or am I overreacting and making a big deal out of nothing and she's entitled to say what she wants at her husbands funeral (and sod anyone else's feelings!)

Who knew hearing your dads new wife bragging about flirting with him while he was married to your dead mother was a side effect of grief?

Thank you. It was a long time ago now. It is just what is said at that time stays with you for a long time. And to recognise that the closest family member all gireve in different ways- one person grief doesn’t outrank anyone else’s and the chief mourner theory mumsnetters often trot out is naive and hurtful

There's no excuse for making herself out to be the love of his life, more beloved than his first wife, when first wife has died and her children are standing there hearing that their Dad was less than perfect towards their mother.
Imagine being the type to try and score points over a dead woman.

Sarah is trash. Marking her territory at a funeral is an unbelievably crass thing to do.

I am think about my parents. My mum is dead and my dad is alive. I wouldn’t be horrified to find out either flirted with other people during their marriage.

I don’t think it hints at an affair at all. Fact is loads of people flirt at work. Loads of people fancy people they work with and it never comes to anything because the people just accept it’s a bit of attraction but wouldn’t entertain an affair or have no interest in dating the person.

for all we know James and Dave’s Kids may have already heard the story and not mind it.

I would have left it out, personally, but I don’t think it’s as horrible as some here are making out.

Mr Hawkins is at it again, it seems

And there's only her word on the issue. Poor Dave might not have had any interest in her at that time.

Yanbu and that is a fantastic example why people should skip the eulogy and read a poem instead.

My quote and question was in context with this thread, and based in comparison with other posters, a lot better behaved

*with some other posters

When Dave went back to work, was it in the same office with Sarah, or did they only work together when Jane was alive?

My DB insisted on changing the complete eulogy, that I had written with the help of my DM, at my DDad's funeral, to fit in with how he felt. It was nothing to do with my Dad at all. I hope he feels ashamed.
Some people can only see their own perspective and can completely disregard the feelings of others, @CalmReserve.
The only thing you can do is be there for the other people invalid appropriate.

'The other people if appropriate'

Thanks. I’ve just advanced search and I see what you mean. The inappropriateness is spreading to all topics with some posters. As predicted. 😡

All my comments are in line with the discussion that the op, is about on any particular thread, and as not one had yet been deleted by mumsnet hq ,then they are all appropriate.

Creepy.

I agrée it's in poor taste. Even if true the funeral wasn't the place to say it.

Blimey… reaching much? Sarah said they flirted according to OP. Where did she say she make herself out to be "the love of his life, more beloved than his first wife"? You're just writing fiction!