Observation at school today

[Rainbowscarf]

There was an observation on my son’s tapestry app today. He’s 4.5 years old.

He’s not got a diagnosis of anything yet but I suspect Autism (or Asperger’s as it used to be called).
Am I right to be concerned about this? He wants to know everything about numbers and more. Knows all the names of the planets in the solar system and the order they go in too.
If you don’t know the answer to something he finds it really hard to understand why.

For it to be mentioned like that in the observation - I'd think it was outside of what is typical.

I don't think you understand autism. Your son finds numbers interesting, and he knows some multiples of 16 which he "mostly" gets right. That is not a symptom of autism. Talking at people doesn't mean autism. Being able to role-play actually goes against autism.

What are his difficulties?

Sorry, but I’ve never met a 4-year old who doesn’t talk to everyone about subjects that interest them, whether or not anyone else is interested 🤣. Other than that, I understand why you are concerned, but think it sounds a bit too early to tell, tbh. If he is happy in himself and accepted as he is by the other children atm, I would just keep an eye on it for now and keep that as a bit of evidence to help build a picture over the next few months or years if you are concerned.

I've reported this. Appalling comment and not mitigated by the cross outs.

Is it a quote from an episode of number blocks?

Just a reminder ABA is widely considered abuse

As for your DH - I was I denial about my son for ages and then when I came to terms with the fact there was something not right my H was in denial. He came round and my son was diagnosed. However, being in denial isn’t going to change anything. Your son is either autistic or he isn’t. I’d advise any parents not to do what we did and instead trust your instincts. If you get him assessed and he’s not autistic- fine. But if he is, at least lyou know

I'd say this was outwith the typical. But I wouldn't worry about it at all @Rainbowscarf.

One of my DC was like this and was diagnosed with AS aged 7 on the advice of his form teacher and head teacher. There was no need for an ECHP as there were no academic issues, beyond extraordinary academic abilities which his teachers were great with. The social side caused more problems, though. If you choose schools that are a good fit for the child/young person, what used to be called 'high-functioning autism' is absolutely nothing to be worried or distressed about. BTW it isn't a Maths/Science thing!

I have two ds who could have done the multiples of 16 at age 4 one is profoundly gifted and the other is autistic.
Your description of your ds is much more towards my autistic ds than it is to the NT one. Autistic ds had an EHCP equivalent before he started school nursery. NT one had been at school nursery for three mornings when I was asked in to discuss his extraordinary abilities and agree for the ed psych to see him.
Both ds loved numbers the difference was that for autistic ds they were his whole life interest, for NT ds he'd have happily done the calculations prompted by the number square but then he'd have skipped off to play with his friends because his friends and his interaction with them was intrinsically more rewarding.
You should see your GP taking an outlie of your child's milestones and a note of all your concerns and ask for a referral to the Neurodevelopment assessment service.

Senco, I echo what others said. You have to be proactive. Just have a conversation with them about your concerns.

I was probably being a bit flippant about the maths science thing and I didn’t mean just that. My DH has problems socially and with perfectionism. Also extreme anxiety.

It might be good to get a referral if you're concerned but he does sound similar to my DS at that age, knew all his x tables up to 20 around aged 4/5 knew more than I did about planets. As DS was also a late talker he did have the MDA/ADOS for autism at either 3 or 4 and was found not to have autism but a speech&language delay. A few years on he's still very good at maths and around average at English.

Sounds like they were impressed with his number knowing and wanted to share with you. The only slightly off thing is the use of ‘talked at’ as that is rather negative.

*Number knowledge

@PennyRa - I'm glad you said that. I recoiled as I read the casual reference to ABA but I didn't want to derail the thread with a debate.

But I agree with you entirely.

I would suspect that whoever wrote that is thinking autism. It’s recorded in such a way that suggests it.

I wouldn’t be concerned as such but I would infer from this that an autism assessment would be a good idea.

He might not need an EHCP, my son is 14 with ADHD and has never needed one. It sounds as though academically and behaviour wise he will be fine but you're right it does sound like ASD. You could do with pushing for an assessment and diagnosis just to make sure that school are able to support him socially. It's quite often that gaps widen as they get older so with him talking to people about maths which is what interests him (whether they like it or not) he might need some interventions around conversation language and listening to others but I wouldn't be too worried.

Just one thing - you sound scared that he will attract an Autism/Aspy diagnosis. Don't be. As you say yourself, DH may well be on the spectrum, loads of people are and it doesn't necessarily affect their day to day life in any worrying way.

My 'tribe' includes lots of fascinating people, some diagnosed and some not, who would be considered on the spectrum. (One diagnosed by me, confirmed by professionals, and the diagnosis has made a BIG difference to their life as they now have an explanation for lots of stuff that they were beating themself up for before.) The tribe includes lots of super-high achievers and I believe the happiness quotient of the group (OK, I just made that term up) is at least at the national average.

So yes, go ahead with all assessments, but remember your lovely 4 year old is the same adorable child whatever labels they wear - and don't let any diagnoses affect your instincts as a mother - you probably know best.

Part of that ought to include professional referrals eg to Ed Psych / SALT under the school's SEN Support duties but they may want to track his progress for a few weeks first. School should fund all of that under their existing resources/budget, you may need to push a bit because there will probably be children seen as higher priority. Once you have some info from the school and from EP/SALT observations

Just to warn you that going into school and expecting an EP referral or observation may require a long wait or simply not happen. There is a huge EP shortage nationally and they are only doing statutory work in my LEA currently. If you wanted to seek a ASD diagnosis, that would usually need to go through the GP but would not involve a school EP assessment.

But even this would be unusual for a four year old!

I suspect you’re probably on to something, with both your son and your H. Your H’a resistance might be, in part, because he’d have to face a potential truth on his own part.

That’s amazing OP.
Whether he is ND or NT, it sounds like he has an incredible ability with numbers.

@Rainbowscarf are you concerned about it ?