Prompted to slim for holiday

[Orchidjoy]

I'm due to join an old school friend for a holiday in June. She is not from the UK which is relevant because she basically prompted me to lose some weight so I don't get body conscious around the slim European women.

Im a size 10-12 and an athletic build. I only weigh 9st 2 at 5ft 4. I've never thought I was fat. I have muscular thighs and shoulders from swimming and cycling. It's been playing on my mind all week. Because of the amount of exercise I do Il never be a size 6 but now I just feel fat.
Ive never had disordered eating but its making me feel guilty everytime I eat.
My partner thinks I should cancel the holiday if its making me so anxious. But do I tell my friend she has upset me or is she trying to help me?

I've never felt this way about food or my body before. I'm getting quite stressed about it.

You sound absolutely fine, why would you worry about what she thinks?
Also it's not the case that all European woman are super slim and will be smaller than you.

She's no friend!

What! Maybe we have a different build but when I was that weight for my wedding (same height as you), I was hovering around 20% fat.
Get yourself some decent bikinis that are flattering for your shape. Shein has loads. I have big shoulders too so if you Google the best styles for you..ones with thicker straps, asymmetric straps or cap sleeves are more flattering on me. Drawstrings in between the bust are also flattering as are on the hips too. You are looking for details which create illusions of shape.

Good god don't develop an eating disorder over this! Tell your friend you'll be coming as you are and if she doesn't like it to tell you now so you can cancel the holiday.

If a friend “prompted” me to lose weight to go on holiday with her I would tell them to F off.
I know you said that you have never suffered from disordered eating but the fact that you seem to be so affected by this suggests some sort of issue to me, sorry

@Siameasy I honestly have never thought wearing a size 10 waist would make me 20 per cent fat. I have a completely flat stomach.
Maybe this is the wake up call I needed.

Just ignore her. You are fine.

Why do you need a wake up call if you have a completely flat stomach?

This is a strange thing for a friend to say. Ask her why she thinks you need to lose weight.

honestly have never thought wearing a size 10 waist would make me 20 per cent fat

OP FFS! 20% body fat is the LOWER end of optimal for women. You sound really hair-trigger about body issues.

This

I'd cancel the holiday as you've feel judged regardless of how you look.

*you'll

Cancel the holiday.

There is nothing wrong with your body, only your so-called "friend".

20% fat is bordering on professional athlete. I’m now 29% for context and still slim and green BMI just not skeletal as I was then. Don’t become obsessive-it never leads to happiness.

I was talking about the glamorous women where we are going to. Not to be outing but it's known for glamour. I never mentioned my weight once more new outfits etc.
Then she mentioned slimming down.
I know many of the women there are size 0 etc but now I just feel huge.

Slim European woman? 🤔 The ones I’ve met whilst holidaying are great big hefty birds.

Ditch your so called friend, you’re absolutely fine OP.

Blimey, I'd be seriously annoyed with your 'friend'

Maximise your assets. Create your own glamour. Size zero isn’t something I’d want -do you? You say you’re athletic so you’re fit. That’s great. Work it!

I think the poster is saying its very low fat. 20% sounds minimal. Mind you Im about 100% fat so I may not be the best person to judge!

Ignore her silly comment. You sound fit, slim and healthy. Perhaps your friend was simply projecting her own worries about her body onto you. Just get some lovely clothes and swimwear you feel good in...and enjoy the holiday! Forget about other people, what size they are etc...who cares?!

She’s your friend, tell her that you didn’t feel body conscious but do now.

I like the beach because you see people of all different shapes and sizes. Be you.

You have a strong, athletic body, which does NOT mean fat. Women with pin legs and scrawny shoulders don't look attractive IMO.

If you need to get down to a very low weight just to feel comfortable going to a certain place, don't go there and go somewhere else.

For what it's worth, your BMI is the same as mine was at my pre-pregnancy weight. I spent two years living and working in Paris at that weight and nobody fainted in shock or looked at me in disgust when I was going about my business.

I know many of the women there are size 0 etc but now I just feel huge.

They do vanity sizing in a size 0 too. Ignore the numbers on labels and look in the mirror.