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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teachers in pjs on world book day

549 replies

AutisticLegoLover · 02/03/2023 09:06

I'm not a fan as it is but we have just been greeted at the school door by the headteacher in his pjs and dressing gown. He usually wears a suit and looks professional. I know the children were to go in their pjs or a onesie but I did t expect staff, especially the HT, to be in nightwear. It feels over-familiar perhaps, for what if a better word. I'm not sure I'll look at him the same way again. I have a very low threshold for revulsion thanks to many, many sensory issues as part of being autistic and I don't always understand norms so I'm happy to be told I'm being unreasonable. I'd feel the same way if it was the past female HT too about the professionalism. Admittedly him being male makes a difference to my personal feelings due to trauma but from a professional point of view it doesn't sit right.

OP posts:
Rockhopper81 · 02/03/2023 20:16

GrowingBoy · 02/03/2023 11:16

Just to tip the balance as I agree with you! I already hate pyjama day for the kids, let alone grown ups wearing pyjamas! Gives me the ick massively. I don't want to see what you wear in bed, thank you. I know it's meant to be a bit of fun and I'm really not usually grumpy, but i can't get on board with this. It also feels dirty and unhygienic to me, kids coming to school in their PJ'S. I know they're most likely clean pyjamas, but I bet in some cases they aren't.

Also hate when colleagues work from home and I can see their bed in the background on video calls. I'm horrified on their behalf.

But...I'd bet anything that those teachers aren't wearing to school what they wear to bed. As in, ever wear to bed - I know I never did, I had pyjamas specifically for days that called for them to be worn (ones with penguins on, as my classes always knew I love penguins - mostly 3-5 year olds), as I wear short sleeved/shorts for bed all year around. I'm also autistic, so whilst I wouldn't wear my actual nightwear to school, I would have a pair of long sleeved/long legged pyjamas to wear, and they were always more comfortable than the clothes I regularly wore (sensory difficulties).

In response to the OP, you can't help how you feel, but as others have said, it isn't for the parents, it's for the children - ultimately, if there was a safeguarding issue that necessitated police/social care etc. involvement, that last thing to be concerned about would be what the Headteacher is wearing.

gimmepeaceandsky · 02/03/2023 20:20

Well, yes maybe think twice then.
Teachers wearing pj’s on world book days happen for a log time now, as I used onesies many many times.
Maybe is just you.

it is ok !

NoKandoo · 02/03/2023 20:21

@Rockhopper81 (love your username!) I am feeling much better about life generally for knowing that you had special pyjamas for this kind of eventuality, so you weren't going to work in nightwear. So your special pyjamas were a kind of uniform. This makes sense of a lot of things that would otherwise be a bit overwhelming.

Puppers · 02/03/2023 20:23

Misslings · 02/03/2023 18:30

@Puppers

Yeah. She needs to get a life. Sharpish, what’s your point?

She has explained that her reaction is partly linked to her autism and partly a trauma response. I just wondered if you'd not noticed that because you hadn't bothered reading properly. But maybe you lack empathy or weren't able to understand it.

Puppers · 02/03/2023 20:26

Misslings · 02/03/2023 18:33

@Puppers

Are we supposed to pander to someone being “triggered” because some bloke had his PJs on at work for world book day? Must have missed that brief….. Yeah, she needs to get a life.

I'm not sure it's about being "pandered to" is it? More just an acceptance that it's OK for people to feel a certain way about something and to speak about it, and whilst it doesn't necessarily mean that other people need to change their behaviour in response, it also doesn't mean that OP needs to "get a life", which is largely meaningless but intended purely to insult her.

SoonBeTeaTime · 02/03/2023 20:27

I'm not sure what you being autistic has to do with the school doing dress up for world book day? Kids love it when the teachers join in, he sounds like a great head, not afraid to get involved.

You sound like "that parent".

lavendery · 02/03/2023 20:29

For those who don't have autism, I'm actually surprised so many feel so strongly against it. I understand if you think it's a faff, but to feel it's inappropriate, wrong, embarrassing, etc, especially in a child-centred environment... I'm actually intrigued. Is it nature or nurture that would make someone so "Victorian" and uptight/rigid, in a sense? Or am I the one who's rigid and not just understanding that viewpoints differ for no particular reason?

lavendery · 02/03/2023 20:30

professionally embarrassing*

echt · 02/03/2023 20:30

Puppers · 02/03/2023 20:23

She has explained that her reaction is partly linked to her autism and partly a trauma response. I just wondered if you'd not noticed that because you hadn't bothered reading properly. But maybe you lack empathy or weren't able to understand it.

Show quote history

I don't think anyone's missed anything about the OP's OP.

Danielle9891 · 02/03/2023 20:31

I'd say it's appropriate for world book Day. It's nice for the children if the staff dress up as well. Makes it more fun for them.
Also he was in a dressing gown and I'm assuming, full length winter PJ's and not shorts ect. Probably brought clean PJ's into work and changed for the children.

StaunchMomma · 02/03/2023 20:31

Agree that it sounds like The Midnight Gang.

Nothing wrong with primary staff joining in on World Book Day, surely? Even if he did make you shudder 😂

xprincessxjanetx · 02/03/2023 20:32

Oh for goodness sake, loosen up a bit! How ridiculous, it was his costume!!

Islandgirl68 · 02/03/2023 20:32

I sent my child in one year in PJs. Clean ones on top of jogging bottoms and t-shirt. As a character out of a David Walliams book. Easy and no need to spend a penny. He didn't rock up in the PJs he slept in. I have heard others schools do this as it means parents don't have to spend any money. Think it is a good idea.

WandaWonder · 02/03/2023 20:32

Autism may explain how a person feels or reacts but I don't how is has anything to do with making someone wearing pjymas wrong?

H007 · 02/03/2023 20:33

You are 100% being unreasonable. It was his outfit for a specific reason not just because he couldn’t be bothered this morning. All teachers and headteachers all over the country dress up in their school themes for special occasions. Plus he wasn’t dressing up to impress or unimpress you. His sole reason for getting involved was for the children.

Rainbowsandbutterflies1990 · 02/03/2023 20:35

WandaWonder · 02/03/2023 20:32

Autism may explain how a person feels or reacts but I don't how is has anything to do with making someone wearing pjymas wrong?

I would thought its very far out of the usual routine of the school day. Its a change. And could feel 'wrong' from an autistic perspective.

Hanifray · 02/03/2023 20:36

Why does it bother you so much? So what if they turned up wearing pyjamas? You’re being beyond unreasonable.

Wombatbum · 02/03/2023 20:38

For goodness sake 🙄🙄🙄 my son’s school wore pjs today, as did my work…. So I did the school run in pjs….. shoot me now!

Chickychoccyegg · 02/03/2023 20:39

The children always enjoy a pyjama day at school, whether it's for world book day or another fundraising event, all the teachers always join in, including the head.
I think pyjamas for world book day is a fairly common thing, it's certainly not unusual, focusing on the bed time story aspect, at my dc school they even get hot chocolate during a class story on a pj day, and I'm pretty sure everyone wears clean pyjamas 😁

WandaWonder · 02/03/2023 20:39

Rainbowsandbutterflies1990 · 02/03/2023 20:35

I would thought its very far out of the usual routine of the school day. Its a change. And could feel 'wrong' from an autistic perspective.

Show quote history

Yes I get that can make the person with autism feel it's wrong

Doesn't mean it is actually wrong

Lostinalibrary · 02/03/2023 20:41

Like teachers actually wear their home dressing gown and pjs to school!

Wombatbum · 02/03/2023 20:42

Lostinalibrary · 02/03/2023 20:41

Like teachers actually wear their home dressing gown and pjs to school!

Erm I did….

Lostinalibrary · 02/03/2023 20:44

Wombatbum · 02/03/2023 20:42

Erm I did….

Show quote history

I didn’t. Don’t want them ruined. To be fair, I don’t know any teacher who did.

Wombatbum · 02/03/2023 20:45

Lostinalibrary · 02/03/2023 20:44

I didn’t. Don’t want them ruined. To be fair, I don’t know any teacher who did.

Show quote history

So what did you wear?? I’m confused… I work with 2-4 year olds, nothing ruined

user375242 · 02/03/2023 20:45

I agree with you. I hate when schools request pyjamas. I don't buy the 'but it's less exclusionary as everyone owns pyjamas' because everyone also owns day time clothes too, which are more weather appropriate. Why not do wear your own clothes, costume optional? Pyjamas in the day time is an issue in my low income area as it is. I take my children to school on the bus and I don't think it is appropriate to take them out in pyjamas. Also all of the low income families I support in work who I have had this conversation with say they always buy new pyjamas for the occasion because their child's pyjamas are well worn and not appropriate for school, so it doesn't save money.