Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How the fuck do you improve attendance

342 replies

Merryoldgoat · 02/03/2023 08:53

I’ve had the delightful LA attendance officer letting me know my son’s attendance is 85%.

I KNOW. I’m the one looking after him.

How am I supposed to stop him getting ill? I’d love to know.

I’m just sick of it. We’re juggling two autistic children, a full time job and I get this officious letter implying I’m keeping him off under false pretences.

It’s such a stupid blunt instrument.

I’m angry and tired and just sick of it.

I have no AIBU. It’s just the rant of an exhausted parent. DH is also exhausted in case anyone is wondering.

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 02/03/2023 10:32

How is he ill ‘almost constantly’ if he’s well at least 85% of the time?

Because usually, people don't take time off lightly, and it's unlikely that they will be perfectly well between sick days.

Typically, when dd has been unwell, there might be a day or so of feeling slightly under the weather before she goes off sick. Then, often, there is a period of recovery after being sick, when she is no longer contagious or ill enough to be off, but still isn't 100%.

If you're so sick for 15% of the time you're supposed to be in school that you need to take the time off, I would presume that there is another significant proportion of time when you're either coming down with something or recovering from something. So it may not actually be constant, but surely it would feel as if you're constantly going from one illness to the next!

feellikeanalien · 02/03/2023 10:41

DD has had so many bugs since the beginning of the school year last September. Unfortunately a lot of these have involved vomiting. Even if she does feel better the next day the 48 hour rule applies so her non-attendance doubles.

Zodfa · 02/03/2023 11:12

I think a few angry parents might need staff to subtly point them in the direction of the head's office. Headteachers might start rethinking their abusive policies once they're the ones in danger of getting punched.

Or maybe for every sick child forced to turn up in the morning a safeguarding concern should be filed against the school? A flurry of formal investigations against them might be an equally effective means of focusing SLT's minds ...

Arthurflecksfacepaint · 02/03/2023 11:16

Zodfa · 02/03/2023 11:12

I think a few angry parents might need staff to subtly point them in the direction of the head's office. Headteachers might start rethinking their abusive policies once they're the ones in danger of getting punched.

Or maybe for every sick child forced to turn up in the morning a safeguarding concern should be filed against the school? A flurry of formal investigations against them might be an equally effective means of focusing SLT's minds ...

Ha, yes!

First sign of trouble at the school I worked in, SLT would scarper. If they put policies in place, they shouldn’t be so cowardly to hide from the ramifications.

AmandaJonah · 02/03/2023 11:21

pelagra · 02/03/2023 09:21

There are 195 school days per year.
85% attended = 166 days
15% absent = 29 days, or less than 10 days per term
It's easy to see how someone could be ill for ten days out of three months.

Show quote history

I disagree. Being ill ten days every three months is a lot of illness unless the child has a serious illness.
Sometimes a child is unlucky and does have lots of issues. But some parents
keep children off for very minor illnesses when they should be in school.

AmandaJonah · 02/03/2023 11:23

Also if a child keeps getting vomiting bugs I would be checking the hygiene of my kitchen and cooking practices and checking they wash their hands after going to the toilet and before eating.

cornflakegeneration · 02/03/2023 11:27

Merryoldgoat · 02/03/2023 08:53

I’ve had the delightful LA attendance officer letting me know my son’s attendance is 85%.

I KNOW. I’m the one looking after him.

How am I supposed to stop him getting ill? I’d love to know.

I’m just sick of it. We’re juggling two autistic children, a full time job and I get this officious letter implying I’m keeping him off under false pretences.

It’s such a stupid blunt instrument.

I’m angry and tired and just sick of it.

I have no AIBU. It’s just the rant of an exhausted parent. DH is also exhausted in case anyone is wondering.

Completely agree with you op - DS has had loads of time off this term - ALL through illness that he's picked up from other kids at school plus a couple of hospital appointments.
He's been very I'll overnight with a 41 degree temp and the first thing he said when he woke up was "I'm worried about my attendance"
I'm absolutely furious that my child is worrying about this rather than relaxing and getting better.

cornflakegeneration · 02/03/2023 11:29

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 02/03/2023 09:09

85% is very low, so he must get sick a lot. Have you spoken to the GP about the possible underlying causes for this?

My dd's immunity has been terrible over the last year and she has been more sick than in any previous year. Her attendance is at 95% which is the lowest it has ever been. To be at 85%, he must be ill almost constantly?

It's horrible to feel as if you're being accused of not doing enough, and I'm sure that you are of course doing your absolute best to keep your child healthy, but that level of absence is quite concerning so I understand why they're raising it. Of course it is a blunt tool that doesn't necessarily take into account individual circumstances but presumably there will be opportunities to demonstrate what action you're taking to try and address the problem? I get that it's stressful but I think they're right to check if I'm honest...most parents will be doing their best like you, but there will always be a few who are failing their kids by not making an effort to get them into school, and the schools have to go through some sort of process to identify which ones are which iyswim.

I asked GP about this with my child and they said it's fine, nothing to worry about, just catches a lot of bugs. So actually not concerning in the slightest.

AmandaJonah · 02/03/2023 11:31

Catching bugs is normal. Being off 1 week ill out of every six weeks is not normal. Unless your DC is very unlucky you are probably keeping them off when they can go to school.

cornflakegeneration · 02/03/2023 11:32

Believeitornot · 02/03/2023 09:28

I have to say, my children have been getting ill way more than they did before covid. And by ill, I mean really ill.

as have I!

So until this government takes seriously the fact we are a sicker population overall they can fuck off with their attendance bullshit.

I’ve had to drag my daughter into school this week while she’s clearly unwell because her attendance is so low. It’s helped no one as she can’t concentrate at school so is just there for registration purposes.

She wouldn’t get so ill if schools weren’t such a cesspit.

Hear hear

EmmaGrundyForPM · 02/03/2023 11:32

This happened to a friend of mine. She's a single parent and works FT so there's no way she finds it easy to be off when her child is ill.

Her dc had a planned operation in the autumn term, and needed several days off afterwards. The primary school were aware. She had 7 school days off. Then, in January, she had a chest infection and had to have a further 3 days off - my friend did send her in but the school rang her to ask her to pick her dd up as she was too ill to be at school.

She then got a threatening letter about her DD's attendance.

AmandaJonah · 02/03/2023 11:33

Covid reduces your immune system for up to six months after catching it.

EliflurtleTripanInfinite · 02/03/2023 11:33

Zodfa · 02/03/2023 11:12

I think a few angry parents might need staff to subtly point them in the direction of the head's office. Headteachers might start rethinking their abusive policies once they're the ones in danger of getting punched.

Or maybe for every sick child forced to turn up in the morning a safeguarding concern should be filed against the school? A flurry of formal investigations against them might be an equally effective means of focusing SLT's minds ...

Might be more to the point to send the sick but can't miss school because of attendance policy kids into their office and see how they like being coughed on and exposed to vomit and all the other nasties while the front office chases down the pissed off parents who were made to being them in.

AmandaJonah · 02/03/2023 11:34

Coughing though is normal after some illnesses. Children can cough for up to 6-8 weeks after being ill. You send them to school.

BeyondTheScope · 02/03/2023 11:36

Had this issue with all my dc so far. Combination of genetic conditions and some have ASD. It’s been a massive extra strain trying to manage their needs and having pressure to magically improve their health and therefore attendance.

2 got down into the low 30s percentage wise so I home educated them.

Others are hovering around 60%

It’s not just a formality with the letters being sent as it doesn’t end there - we’ve had meetings, been threatened with court!
I have to be VERY firm and keep repeating that it’s beyond the scope of our control - that we send them when they are well enough to go in .
We provide appt letters and gp letters (we have to pay but although I know we don’t have to I’m actually happy to and the gp are happy to support as it does authenticate things like viral illness etc)

There seems to be no reasonable adjustments made it’s very much ‘get 96%+ attendance regardless of your circumstances’ it needs to change

cornflakegeneration · 02/03/2023 11:36

Sandysandwich · 02/03/2023 09:38

In our school they don't mark down the attendance if they turned up and get sent home.
So there was a big push on sending your sick kid in to 'see how it goes' i.e. get their attendance point and then leave.
I'm sure it helped get some kids in who were well enough but it also increased the amount of kids who were vomiting all over the desks

This strategy is just so stupid I can't even find the words....
Our last school used to do this too.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 02/03/2023 11:37

cornflakegeneration · 02/03/2023 11:29

I asked GP about this with my child and they said it's fine, nothing to worry about, just catches a lot of bugs. So actually not concerning in the slightest.

Show quote history

Hmm, I think I'd be quite unhappy if my GP was so dismissive. Personally, I would want to know why my child's immunity was so much lower than the norm, in case there was anything that I could do to improve it.

That level of absence would be enough to get you fired from most jobs, and for children, it's likely to have a significant impact on educational attainment. I'm amazed that so many parents expect the school to just shrug and say, oh well, never mind.

BeyondTheScope · 02/03/2023 11:38

We were asked to sign a contract as well to improve attendance! I refused as how can I sign that I’ll do something I can’t control

cornflakegeneration · 02/03/2023 11:39

ColonelDax · 02/03/2023 09:51

85% attendance is approx 1 day off for every 6 days in school. That's a lot!

They are right to highlight it, I cannot believe that a child has been so ill, so many times, since the start of the school year without some underlying chronic condition.

You either need to get them assessed formally, or revise your definition of an illness so serious that they shouldn't attend school.

You better believe it because I know multiple people in the same situation.

Guis · 02/03/2023 11:39

It is not abusive for a school to point out attendance. Are they aware of the reasons why? Sorry but haven't read all posts. If not and a child was off school but you didn't know people would be moaning the schools should have told them. So talk to them. And if a child is regularly ill then GP needs to check out why.

BeyondTheScope · 02/03/2023 11:40

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 02/03/2023 11:37

Hmm, I think I'd be quite unhappy if my GP was so dismissive. Personally, I would want to know why my child's immunity was so much lower than the norm, in case there was anything that I could do to improve it.

That level of absence would be enough to get you fired from most jobs, and for children, it's likely to have a significant impact on educational attainment. I'm amazed that so many parents expect the school to just shrug and say, oh well, never mind.

Show quote history

Our gp did a set of bloods and checked what vitamins etc dc had and what type of diet they said that’s all they can really do and that it’s normal for children to get so many illnesses . In our case though frequent illness is on top of appts and time off for chronic long term conditions etc

AmandaJonah · 02/03/2023 11:41

The parents whose children do not have underlying illnesses will just be like my sister. She keeps her kids off ill for anything. Any minor illness and she is ringing in sick for them.

ImAvingOops · 02/03/2023 11:42

Personally I don't think parents should just be accepting these letters as 'not personal' or standard. They are actually extremely offensive to parents who have genuinely unwell children and those who are doing everything possible to get their dc into school. And schools do know the difference between families who have sick kids and those who don't. I know a lady whose child was having cancer treatment and school thought it was okay to hassle her about attendance - that is disgusting behaviour and proves that some SLT aren't fit for their position!

As for taking kids into school and allowing the school to assess - no. It's a parent's job to parent. I will decide whether my child is fit for school and I wouldn't drag a dick kid into school just so the receptionist (who is no more medically qualified than I am and who knows my child significantly less than I do) can decide I'm not lying and send them home anyway. This kind of policy destroys all trust and respect between schools and parents.

There's also the issue that during lockdown, some schools did the absolute bare minimum they could get away with. So for parents whose kids were in those schools, it's not surprising if they no longer respect those schools claiming that every day matters and demanding full attendance.

cornflakegeneration · 02/03/2023 11:44

Or maybe for every sick child forced to turn up in the morning a safeguarding concern should be filed against the school?

Totally this.

Blanketpolicy · 02/03/2023 11:47

Some kids just get ill more often than others. ds(19) has never had norovirus, through his whole school career he had 100% attendance most years, only a couple of years with a really bad cold/cough that kept him up all night, anything else only got as far as minor sniffles/coughs that he went in with.

I don't believe it is due to anything we have done, he is averagely physically fit, but his diet could be improved. It is just the way he is built.

Not sure there is much you can "do" to improve attendance if they are genuinely only off when sick enough to be off!