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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be raging about this??! What can I do??

139 replies

Summerseat · 01/03/2023 19:10

Posted on other topics not many replies so posting on here.

Left a job 5 weeks ago that I had for 15 years, perfect work history, glowing references.

There has been a lot of thefts In my workplace over a period of time, it transpires that within the last 5 weeks there has been a talk/rumour that is was me. Staff have been told there is direct evidence it was me & witness statements. I have had NO idea about any of this. I haven't been approached in any formal capacity about these claims..yet everyone thinks its me. This is a big organisation, think one of the biggest employers in the country.

My name is being dragged through the dirt & it appears I can do fuck all about, people can say what they like however damaging it is.

The only sign I knew something was wrong is that one by one People I've known for 15 years have been blocking me.

My reputation, friendships & mental health are down the toilet. AIBU to think this shouldn't be allowed to happen?

OP posts:
Pfeiffle · 01/03/2023 22:10

OP, this is awful! The management are telling employees not to discuss this with you or anybody else and yet they’re happy to discuss it and name you as the thief. Surely a formal investigation should take place first and police would be called?

Somebody needs to remind management and your ex colleagues that correlation doesn’t always equate to causation. You leaving the job and the thefts stopping doesn’t mean you’re the thief.

Original poster
Summerseat · 01/03/2023 22:23

I have already emailed my ex manager to say this is defamation & unfounded claims. They told me to raise a grievance with HR.

OP posts:
Conkersinautumn · 01/03/2023 22:24

You said that cctv was installed, this is what presumably stopped the thefts. The advice to raise this with the companies HR department seems sound though I'd not piss about trying to be second guess what to do I'd get a Solicitor involved quickly. Would your friend provide a statement to confirm they've been told 1. By a manager 2. It was you and 3. Not to discuss it at work. Ideally with dates. This is causing distress to you (naturally) and could affect your future employment.

JambalayaOrGumbo · 01/03/2023 22:26

Similar thing happened to someone I know - turns out the person bad-mouthing them to everyone took the opportunity to blame my friend when they left, because they were actually the one doing the stealing.

user1492757084 · 01/03/2023 22:47

Lawyer up and join the union.

Original poster
Summerseat · 01/03/2023 22:53

CCTV has been in place for maybe 5 months, that didn't stop the thefts. But the CCTV only covers a limited area of the work place.

I very much doubt my friend would provide statements unfortunately. The ones I have managed to speak to/get anything out of don't want to get involved for fear of reprisals.

OP posts:
Plainascanbe123 · 01/03/2023 22:54

You've had to leave due to the behaviour of staff and management. You've effectively been forced out. You're not in a union so contact Acas for advice on constructive dismissal.

www.acas.org.uk/dismissals/constructive-dismissal

Incidentally, I worked in a place where we were experiencing theft from tills. At the time it was a well known store. The theft was going on for months and I couldn't understand how because I hadn't personally witnessed anyone taking money from the tills. Staff were nice and we all got along well and supported each other etc. We were all baffled. The supervisor was very hard on us and often insinuated that it was one of us who was stealing. We also had to open our bags on leaving the store to show that we hadn't stolen anything. One evening I lost a set of keys containing my front door and car keys. (It was my DH company Car. Ford Mondeo.. remember them.. Lol)
I asked everyone including my supervisor if he'd seen a set of keys I described what they looked like. Everyone said no. One morning, I came into work to hear that the supervisor had been arrested for theft. The police had taken him out in handcuffs.I wish I'd been there to see it. The store manager had a camera installed in the office where the 'safe' was kept. It showed that after emptying the tills and putting the money into the safe whilst being accompanied by another member of staff, the supervisor was then returning to the office by himself while us staff were waiting downstairs so that he can check our bags to make sure we hadn't stolen any money from the tills before we could go. The hidden camera filmed that the supervisor was taking the money back out of the 'safe' and stuffing it into his trousers and his socks. When the manager saw the video that morning he called the police. The supervisor was also taking lots of days off sick. We later heard that he was not sick, but had been returning to his home country and using the stolen money out there. One thing I also remember is that this supervisor always seemed really arrogant, rude and unhelpful. His attitude was also very entitled, so when he was arrested it all seemed to make sense.

A few days after he was arrested, I accompanied a colleague to the office to put money into the safe and when she opened the safe 'my door key and car key' was also in there. I was shocked. I thought back to how many times I had asked the supervisor if he'd seen a set of keys and he said no, and there they were indide the safe and he would have known it.

This just goes to show that people steal for different reasons and can sometimes blame others to take the attention away from themselves.

I really hope you can prove your case.

Plainascanbe123 · 01/03/2023 23:07

You must make a claim for constructive dismissal within 3 months of leaving. Your employer is handling this very badly. You have been there for 15 years. Surely this has to account for something. They should not be telling staff the 'ins and outs' of the investigation because this is highly confidential. You are no longer there to defend your reputation. They should show you the proof against you so that you have a chance to have your say. If you know you've done nothing wrong you must fight this. Don't let them get away with treating you like this.

PressureLikeADripDripDrip · 01/03/2023 23:09

unless I have missed something, the OP did not leave in response to this bullshit. This happened afterwards, right? So I’m not sure how that’s a constructive dismissal?

PressureLikeADripDripDrip · 01/03/2023 23:10

Constructive dismissal is when you resign in response your employers shitty behaviour

Original poster
Summerseat · 01/03/2023 23:15

I have not left in response to these allegations. I left for a new job that was better hours/better pay.

OP posts:
Original poster
Summerseat · 01/03/2023 23:17

The allegations have apparently been going around since I left (5 weeks) but I've only just been told about them.now. I agree other staff members should not be privy to the ins & out if a formal investigation is being made.

OP posts:
jazzybelle · 01/03/2023 23:26

Summerseat · 01/03/2023 20:54

This isn't stealing from company I've been accussed of stealing from customers. Have been told its a police investigation but as I say NO ONE in any official capacity as contacted me. Which is making this worse, as at present everyone is slandering my name & I can't do fuck all.about it.

Who is it that has actually accused you of stealing?

Why did you leave your employment after so many years?

Why go to HR now? Why didn't you go when you were still employed?

Who are the customers complaining to; the company, police or both?

What is being stolen - cash or goods?

If you'd been stealing and there was any evidence it was you and the police were involved, then they would have spoken to you by now.

What has everyone blocked you from?

Why didn't you ask them why they had blocked you?

You seem to know a lot about it. If people have told you things or you heard rumours, then you should have done something about it before you left your employment.

iklboo · 01/03/2023 23:26

Lawyer up and join the union.

A union won't be able to help her defend allegations made by her former employer after she has left.

I'd be emailing HR first thing and ask what the hell is going on and who told all & sundry you were a thief without any investigation or proof. This could be a 'whispers' scenario where gossip & speculation get exaggerated & added to at each retelling.

jazzybelle · 01/03/2023 23:28

I see you have two new posts. If you can, get evidence and act on it. If not, do your best to forget it.

iklboo · 01/03/2023 23:30

@jazzybelle - OP has answered all those further posts she has made.

She left the job because she got a better one. What's wrong with that? Hardly 'evidence' of theft or wrongdoing.

She only heard the rumours after she left five weeks ago, after speaking to former colleagues about why they were blocking her.

iklboo · 01/03/2023 23:30

Cross posted @jazzybelle, sorry.

jazzybelle · 01/03/2023 23:37

Plainascanbe123 · 01/03/2023 22:54

You've had to leave due to the behaviour of staff and management. You've effectively been forced out. You're not in a union so contact Acas for advice on constructive dismissal.

www.acas.org.uk/dismissals/constructive-dismissal

Incidentally, I worked in a place where we were experiencing theft from tills. At the time it was a well known store. The theft was going on for months and I couldn't understand how because I hadn't personally witnessed anyone taking money from the tills. Staff were nice and we all got along well and supported each other etc. We were all baffled. The supervisor was very hard on us and often insinuated that it was one of us who was stealing. We also had to open our bags on leaving the store to show that we hadn't stolen anything. One evening I lost a set of keys containing my front door and car keys. (It was my DH company Car. Ford Mondeo.. remember them.. Lol)
I asked everyone including my supervisor if he'd seen a set of keys I described what they looked like. Everyone said no. One morning, I came into work to hear that the supervisor had been arrested for theft. The police had taken him out in handcuffs.I wish I'd been there to see it. The store manager had a camera installed in the office where the 'safe' was kept. It showed that after emptying the tills and putting the money into the safe whilst being accompanied by another member of staff, the supervisor was then returning to the office by himself while us staff were waiting downstairs so that he can check our bags to make sure we hadn't stolen any money from the tills before we could go. The hidden camera filmed that the supervisor was taking the money back out of the 'safe' and stuffing it into his trousers and his socks. When the manager saw the video that morning he called the police. The supervisor was also taking lots of days off sick. We later heard that he was not sick, but had been returning to his home country and using the stolen money out there. One thing I also remember is that this supervisor always seemed really arrogant, rude and unhelpful. His attitude was also very entitled, so when he was arrested it all seemed to make sense.

A few days after he was arrested, I accompanied a colleague to the office to put money into the safe and when she opened the safe 'my door key and car key' was also in there. I was shocked. I thought back to how many times I had asked the supervisor if he'd seen a set of keys and he said no, and there they were indide the safe and he would have known it.

This just goes to show that people steal for different reasons and can sometimes blame others to take the attention away from themselves.

I really hope you can prove your case.

I can think of three different stealing issues where I used to work years ago and it was always the staff who were under suspicion. Every time it was found to be a head of department or a manager. The staff were not best pleased and someone pointed this out to the main manager and he was quite regretful about it. He was lucky that he had such very good staff.

Plainascanbe123 · 01/03/2023 23:38

My mistake. I thought at the beginning of the post OP said:

Left a job 5 weeks ago that I had for 15 years, perfect work history, glowing references.

GinIronic · 02/03/2023 00:03

Do you have an enemy at your previous employer that is just stirring up shit because they are jealous that you have left for a better job? If your previous employer thought you were stealing - why are they “doing something” about it now and not when you were in their employ. Something about this sounds off. Why accuse a former employee of theft after they have left? It makes no sense. Do you trust the people that are feeding you this info OP?

ReliantRobyn · 02/03/2023 00:08

Please try not to steal from work. Its not nice to take what is not yours

OverCCCs · 02/03/2023 00:34

Summerseat · 01/03/2023 21:25

I am as certain that I can be that's it's come from management. One of.my friends of 15 years.told me. She had.been told.she couldn't talk about me, I assume that means with me.as EVERYONE is.discussing it. They've all.closed ranks & are saying they don't want to get involved/they've Still got to.work there/not allowed to talk about it.

It’s unpleasant to consider, but there’s always the possibility that your friend is the thief and has been spreading rumours and lying to you about what management has said.

I’d at least keep that at the back of your mind as you move forward, and please get legal support because something like this could follow you in your career if a former coworker becomes a coworker in a new job.

Allgreen · 02/03/2023 02:23

Wow sounds very dramatic, but it makes sense that the culprit probably conveniently stopped when you left in order to frame you as a scapegoat. You have my full sympathy

OldSkoolLikeHappyShopper · 02/03/2023 02:43

Ugh this reminds me of a situation I was in, working full time at a shitty job at a motorway service station when I was 17. There was a right twat who worked there, he was a supervisor. He admitted to having no friends, his entire life was this crap job, he lived in a bedsit and had an underage girlfriend…he was a strange bloke. Anyway, money started going missing regularly from the till, quite substantial amounts. The manager went through everything and worked out that on all of the dates it had happened, two people that had been there every time were me and the weird supervisor guy. As he was obsessed with his work and more senior to me, I was the obvious culprit. Then weird supervisor guy happened to find a roll of money in the hood of the dishwasher, and it was me who had been doing the dishwasher that day. I very nearly lost my job, it wasn’t looking good for me. Somehow, I was never privy to how, the manager realised it was supervisor guy after all. The little bellend was trying to frame me and I will never know why.

Anyway, sympathies OP, I know my situation was a micro scale compared to yours but just to say I know what it feels like. Bloody hate thieves and I hated being accused as one.

Murdoch1949 · 02/03/2023 03:09

Bloody hell you need to take action to prevent your reputation taking a huge knock. This unfounded rumour could have repercussions on your current job and any further jobs as rumours can spread. You must get your name cleared by your previous employer, you have got a huge grievance with them. Your coincidental leaving the firm has given them carte blanche to throw you under the bus, and the real culprit an alibi.

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