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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be raging about this??! What can I do??

139 replies

Summerseat · 01/03/2023 19:10

Posted on other topics not many replies so posting on here.

Left a job 5 weeks ago that I had for 15 years, perfect work history, glowing references.

There has been a lot of thefts In my workplace over a period of time, it transpires that within the last 5 weeks there has been a talk/rumour that is was me. Staff have been told there is direct evidence it was me & witness statements. I have had NO idea about any of this. I haven't been approached in any formal capacity about these claims..yet everyone thinks its me. This is a big organisation, think one of the biggest employers in the country.

My name is being dragged through the dirt & it appears I can do fuck all about, people can say what they like however damaging it is.

The only sign I knew something was wrong is that one by one People I've known for 15 years have been blocking me.

My reputation, friendships & mental health are down the toilet. AIBU to think this shouldn't be allowed to happen?

OP posts:
Brazilianadventure · 01/03/2023 20:03

MissyB1 · 01/03/2023 20:02

I suspected right from the first post that this is the NHS? Am I right? It sounds exactly like the kind of behaviour that goes on there.

@MissyB1 I would advise the op not to disclose where they work as this is situation is identifiable.

Jooliusreezer · 01/03/2023 20:14

Threaten an action for defamation?

blameless · 01/03/2023 20:27

@Summerseat Leopards don't change their spots, so unless the thief/thieves leave soon, the thefts will start again. The worst case (as I see it) is that the culprit gets caught but is allowed to leave quietly.
As others have mentioned, a Subject Access Request will be a good move.
Good luck.

Original poster
Summerseat · 01/03/2023 20:27

I have looked at defamation action & from what I can gather its difficult to prove & costly. I'm not aware if anything had been written about me. Ie emails. But obviously people are believing what is being said as I'm being blocked left, right & centre by people I've known for years.

OP posts:
Streamside · 01/03/2023 20:29

If this is a large organization they may not get too exercised around 3k. In a way this may be worse for you because there may not be any resolution to the issue.
Have you considered that this may simply be idle gossip amongst staff and not coming from management. If so, it's quite tricky to do anything about it although it's a very difficult situation for you.

drpet49 · 01/03/2023 20:33

Summerseat · 01/03/2023 19:31

Yes. Apparently the thefts have stopped since I left. That my guess people are thinking/saying its me because I've now left & it's stopped.

Well you can see why they think it is you. The thefts stopped once you left. Shame your friends didn’t ask you about it.

Goodread1 · 01/03/2023 20:34

Hi Op@Summerseat
Sorry to hear you are getting this kind of shit ,
It's real Nasty to be accused of something like this and you know you are not guilty, haven't done anything wrong,

Obviously the real thief it's Manipulative ,hiding in plain sign,
enough to sly use your absence in a way that benefits them,

CandlelightGlow · 01/03/2023 20:35

Streamside · 01/03/2023 20:29

If this is a large organization they may not get too exercised around 3k. In a way this may be worse for you because there may not be any resolution to the issue.
Have you considered that this may simply be idle gossip amongst staff and not coming from management. If so, it's quite tricky to do anything about it although it's a very difficult situation for you.

This is what I was thinking Sad £3.5k over a number of years isn't really that much to a large organisation, and as this PP says, their HR/legal department would know that any kind of lawsuit over £3.5k is likely not worth it.

I don't know where that leaves you OP. It just really sucks.

steff13 · 01/03/2023 20:37

I wouldn't get a lawyer just based on gossip and hearsay. If you hear from the company and they are actually taking action against you, then I would hire a lawyer.

Goodread1 · 01/03/2023 20:39

Its Strange how they have been so slow with investigation with these kinds of night time, threats ,
Surely there must be Ctv images of something iffy in some way...

BadNomad · 01/03/2023 20:39

You've only been gone 5 weeks. The thief will probably start again when they think no one is looking because you've gone.

Brazilianadventure · 01/03/2023 20:42

@Summerseat defamation is not the way to go.

What you first need to do is establish the facts and whether this is rumour or an official investigation.

The SAR is the starting point. As @steff13 says once you have facts then you can decide if you need legal advice.

Stopthebusplease · 01/03/2023 20:42

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through this OP, you must be devastated. I do hope that you're able to clear your name, but personally, I would be tempted to go and see some of the people that have blocked you in person, and ask them why they've done it. If they won't give a reason, then in your shoes I'd be tempted to tell them that someone has started a rumour that it's you that's stolen this money, and it simply isn't true. Then suggest that rather than just believing the rumour mill, they try and find out who did start the rumour as that's likely the thief, trying to deflect from themselves. OMG! The more I think about it, the more angry I get on your behalf! Bloody gossips should be shot!

Original poster
Summerseat · 01/03/2023 20:42

@drpet49 wtf, how does that make me the thief or me guilty, because they've stopped when I've left? Doesn't mean its me..which it isn't BTW.

OP posts:
Original poster
Summerseat · 01/03/2023 20:45

I have thought about going to see the friends I've known for 15 years to ask why I've been blocked & to tell them that i haven't done anything. I'm just concerned it wouldn't end well for anyone & would make my situation worse.

OP posts:
Logburnerperils · 01/03/2023 20:47

This reply has been deleted

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NC1234561 · 01/03/2023 20:48

This doesn't sound right, you've left so why would they investigate you? There's nothing they can do if they find evidence, the police wouldn't touch a company investigation, they'll only prosecute on evidence they collected themselves. If a company has already done an investigation they won't do a second, they don't care about a company losing a few grand to an employee.

Put in a subject access request to your company and they'll have to release all the information they have on you. It's more likely they're investigating someone else and some bright spark has put 2 and 2 together with you going and started a rumour. I wouldn't worry. The thefts haven't stopped either I bet or they'd just write it off at this point if they had.

Original poster
Summerseat · 01/03/2023 20:53

@Logburnerperils what's that supposed to mean?

OP posts:
Original poster
Summerseat · 01/03/2023 20:54

This isn't stealing from company I've been accussed of stealing from customers. Have been told its a police investigation but as I say NO ONE in any official capacity as contacted me. Which is making this worse, as at present everyone is slandering my name & I can't do fuck all.about it.

OP posts:
RosesAndHellebores · 01/03/2023 21:06

Is it worth checking if your house insurance covers you for legal costs and if so go and see a solicitor and ask for them to write a firm letter in relation to your rights and their obligations. Probably about £600.

Original poster
Summerseat · 01/03/2023 21:07

It can't be right,.that people can say these things? It shouldn't be allowed..it's damaging to a person's reputation & mental health. What would happen if something happened to me because of these claims?

This is management. Management are telling staff that I have done this & that there is witness statements. All the information is coming from them. That can't be right. IF there is any sort of investigation going on, surely junior/other staff members shouldn't be privy to this?.

OP posts:
Janch13 · 01/03/2023 21:08

Sue them! That’s a HUGE allegation

BadNomad · 01/03/2023 21:10

Is there still an ongoing investigation? If there are witness statements, and the police decide that is enough evidence, they will want to talk to you.

bellswithwhistles · 01/03/2023 21:12

Oh christ. I"ve had the mums at the school gate block me - same type of thing, one of them said a rumour and the rest of them have stuck with her one by one BUT that's just the school run (and whilst I care, I'm also a bit meh let them think what they like)

but this! I would call the police. As clearly the thief is the one who has seen you as the perfect time to stop and make you the scapegoat. You need to also seek legal advice.

Littleflowerseverywhere · 01/03/2023 21:15

Gosh that’s hard, people you’ve known so long, class as friends, believe you’re the sort who’s been on the rob and blocking you. Raise your grievance op. But awful such long standing friends believe you’re the sort,