Can women have a mid life crisis?

[Grabyourmotherskeyswereleaving]

I’m 45 and feel fairly young still inside, well until I had my Dd, which aged me or made me really grow up at least.
Lately I’ve had thoughts of running away, not real, concrete ones as I’d never leave my Dd…just thoughts of wanting a different life and how to make that happen…or having some excitement in my life. Dd started school in September, I’m back to work part time, I enjoy it but it’s work and not exciting. I live in a nice place and have nice friends..somethings missing…I was too consumed with Dd before now to feel like this and pre Dd, I had a quite exciting life of travel, music, drinking etc
I don’t really have any hobbies as life is just Dd, work, cooking, shopping, kids parties and the occasional catch up with friends without our kids. I’ve thought about going to the gym/yoga at night, but tbh i’m too tired by that point and just veg on the sofa watching tv
Anyone else’s life like mine and feeling the same? Is this just it now?

I can't wait to be able to have a mid life crisis! I was a young mum and eldest is 21, I'll be 40 next year so have been doing parenting for my whole adult life. Bring on travelling the world and lots of other stuff I haven't been able to do 🥳🥳🥳, I don't care if anyone thinks I'm having a crisis about it!

Well, I don't think it was midlife crisis as much as a burn-out after years in corporates and the realisation that you don't need to be a part of the big "we care a lot" lie. I used my DH's new job and our move to a new country to reboot and start a new career. I now do something I have always loved and wanted to do and get paid for it.

@FoxtrotSkarloey How old are you and the kids?

This is the thing though…I got pregnant at 39…after years of infertility..so haven’t been parenting all that long, my life was about me for so long…so what’s my excuse for this feeling now 😬🤷🏻‍♀️

I had a moment this morning on my walk home from the nursery drop-off where I thought that if a car hit me and I went into a coma then I could get time off work. I wouldn’t even need to call in sick because I’d be in a coma, no one would send me any “I know you’re sick but could you just…” emails… I wouldn’t even need to brush my teeth. I hope it’s not a mid-life crisis because I’m 27.

For the record, I have no intention of getting hit by a car.

This is highly relatable. I once fainted in a shop and as i was dropping to the ground i remember feeling so happy and free and thinking “oh lovely, properly off duty”.

I think that’s probably harder. I got pregnant at 22, a year out of university and in my first job. My entire 20s and 30s were spent parenting so I never had the chance to become the adult “me” that didn’t have kids. That’s what I’m doing now, discovering that person. You had time to learn exactly who you are and to miss that person. It’s a normal reaction to a massive change in your life.

Let's just say I am stage 4 breast cancer. 40ish and I am currently buying all the shoes and fashion I want.

Hello Adidas Supermodified's and Killstar leggings.

@ImFineThankYouSusan - I'm so sorry - do what you want now.

@Merkins - thank you - my DH thinks I'm mad too.

I don't have much on my wish list, but I'm going to meet up with friends more for weekends away, Bath, Edinburgh, Dublin, Faro Portugal. And cook and have the girls round more for curry and wine.

Definitely. Mine was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

I booted out my depressive, alcoholic husband (aged 43), took a new and much better paid job and started hanging out with people 10 years younger than me. For about three years I went out and probably drank too much, lost over a stone in weight and started exercising, had a fling with a man 10 years younger than me and had loads of online dates and sex. It was bloody brilliant.

I wouldn't want it to be my steady state and I've virtually stopped drinking alcohol now and am much more boring but I thoroughly recommend it. It helped me find perspective and a sense of fun in the chaos of my divorce and reminded me that I wasn't middle aged yet. So many people settle into the tedium of middle-aged routine before they are really ready and need a chance to re-engage with themselves.

I'm currently going through a phase of loving BTS, I'm 40! Also peri menopausal 😂

I feel like I am having a midlife crisis, but am 45 with 3 small children, 2 jobs and not much money. Much as I'd love to jet off to India or buy a fancy car, how do you have a midlife crisis when yo have no time, money or energy?!

Well, if drinking too much, spending too much money on lipstick and leather jackets, crying at work and nursing a huge and utterly inappropriate crush on Harry Styles counts as a midlife crisis, then... FUCK YEAH.

I’m 32 so not experienced it yet but some of these mid life ‘crisis’ sound fun! It seems to me ti be the culmination of a lifetime Of dedicating yourself to other people and reaching a point in your life you have the time and money to do only what pleases you, along with the ‘fuck it’ attitude that comes with age.

I could have written this. No one can tell me what to do to feel better 😕

I don't think of it as male but I am feeling very "is this it" about stuff atm.

I thought the key thing with the crisis is having commitments you can't leave, DC to raise etc, the worry of getting older.

@Grabyourmotherskeyswereleaving 39, 4 and 2.

I LOVED my old life. I was active, I did what I wanted for holidays. I didn't always like work but it paid the bills and everything else made it worthwhile.

I love my kids and it's fab seeing them grow but they are SUCH hard work and selfishly I don't think I'm seeing much reward for the cost and time they take!! That a sounds awful, I know, and I've chosen to have them, but it makes life so restrictive and I feel like by the time I'll be able to do what I truly want again, I'll be broke and too old! I also feel this huge burden of obligation to work as much as I can to provide for them as much as possible.

Yep

I have today heard of someone who is selling her home to see if her failing small business can be saved. I used to think that kind of thing was the mark of bad business, but now I wonder if it's more a case of midlife crisis = refuses to give up on dreams.

Mine has been very positive (I’m 47), I started prioritizing myself instead of everyone else - I leaned back in to my career, took up hot yoga and started buying myself better quality more $ clothes. I am a much calmer, happier and better dressed person as a result, even when work is stressful and I spend my evenings ferrying my kids around. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing! I had lost “me” and now have rediscovered this person and it is very liberating.

That's not a crisis...or did you have a crisis before?

I am looking to change direction in my career but starting to realise it might just be boredom.

I don't see it as a crisis, but more of an awakening. Once we reach mid life (which I'll call 40-45), we realize we don't have all the time in the world to reach some of our goals, but now we have a bit more time and money available to make them a reality. So a change of career, or looking at other goals is a good thing, not a crisis!

I upped my education level, which led to a more rewarding job, and set some goals for travel. Also had more time to invest in our relationship, which was good, since teens can suck the life out of you! Ha, I'm past middle age now, and came out of it contented with where i am in life.

“I was entertaining thoughts of moving to the country, by myself (plus dog obviously) and just reading books and cooking and going for walks.”

omg yes. I’ve lost interest in making loads of money. Just need basics and an easier life.

is this normal in midlife? I’m 43