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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Running away fund/secret stash

90 replies

Wizardofbecause · 28/02/2023 14:15

Do you have one? If so, where and how much?

I try to put bits of money away to save for Dds birthday and party and her summer clothes etc…if I don’t, we just end up spending it and it’s gone.
I really want to put back a secret stash for emergencies etc
Do others do this?

OP posts:

GPFavo · 28/02/2023 14:17

No. But, I'm not in a position where I'd need one.

AlrightJulia · 28/02/2023 14:20

I have one. Don't feel I need it and it's not really very secret. But I could have done with it in a situation in my past and I didn't have it. So I have one now. Would hate to be stuck in a shit situation like I once was. Having it makes me feel protected.

MamOfFive · 28/02/2023 14:22

No, but I don't need a running away fund.

I do stash money away but DCs birthdays, trips that kind of thing.

HungryMummySadDaddy · 28/02/2023 14:30

Why does it need to be a secret if it's for emergencies? Is your partner that unreliable not to dip into the savings or are you anticipating your relationship ending?

PartingGift · 28/02/2023 14:30

I have different savings pots with my TSB account for "sinking funds" for stuff like Christmas, birthdays, car insurance etc. A rainy day account for emergencies, like a flat tyre or broken boiler etc, and a running away fund. Don't feel I'll need the running away fund, but I was drilled into me by my friends mum when I was younger.

123rd · 28/02/2023 14:33

I do have a nice little amount which I have named my running away fund.
In reality it's just a saving account that I have built up and DH knows all about and would have access to should he need it.

Floofydawg · 28/02/2023 14:41

Ah you mean a Fuck Off Fund?

Yes, I have one. Needed it in the past, used it, have another one now.

caffelattetogo · 28/02/2023 14:46

Yes. I've told DH he should have one too. I'd never want to have to carry on in a relationship just because I couldn't afford to leave.

momtoboys · 28/02/2023 14:48

I started around September, 2022. I've managed to squirrel away a decent amount. I'm saving for spending money on holiday this summer.

Warrensrabbit · 28/02/2023 14:51

I have one, and quite frankly it isn’t enough. I have £50k, and need 80k to buy my “partner” out of the house. So the house is currently on the market, but I am trapped living with him until it is sold. I don’t want to move out because he will make it difficult to sell and not give agents access, leave the place in a state etc, but he won’t move out.

Original poster

Wizardofbecause · 28/02/2023 14:51

How much do you all have and do you hide it in the house or in an account?

OP posts:

AliasGrape · 28/02/2023 14:52

No I don't have a secret stash as such.

We have separate current accounts, salaries go in there and then we pay a proportionate amount into there which covers bills/ childcare. Also have savings in our own names as well as jointly.

I have no need to run away, but if I did I'd have access to at least some money, that nobody else has access to, with which to do so.

I do stash money in instant saver accounts linked to my current account though - more as a way of managing the stuff I'm responsible for, and having some to use in the more expensive months like DD's birthday month for example, or around Christmas. I don't need to do it secretly though - and DH contributes to these things too.

thecatsthecats · 28/02/2023 14:53

It doesn't just have to apply to a partner.

I've quit my job because I have a few months buffer whilst I build up self-employed. My employer is fucking awful, and being able to fund the training I need to leave, plus cover the employment gap, is incredibly liberating.

AliasGrape · 28/02/2023 14:54

Sorry that doesn't make sense - was trying to say we only use joint account for bills so current accounts/ savings linked to those are in our own individual control anyway.

AliasGrape · 28/02/2023 14:59

One thing I've found useful is the facility on my current account to 'save the change'. So basically when I use my card and it's a random number of pence, they round it up and put the difference in my instant saver. Surprising how quickly that adds up.

TheFlis12345 · 28/02/2023 15:03

No ‘secret‘ fund but we both have our own separate current and savings accounts, we both get paid into those and then pay into the joint account each month and bills go from that.

CheersForThatEh · 28/02/2023 15:05

No and I don't hide anything.

I have a personal account for my wages.

I use this to pay the joint account and pay myself savings every month and the small pot of money leftovers my monthly spends (this also covers birthdays).

The joint account has a float for joint emergencies.

CheersForThatEh · 28/02/2023 15:08

the things in your OP are for your joint daughter and are therefore joint spends.

Is your partner saving money for these joint things too?

Animallover87 · 28/02/2023 15:32

I have 15k in premium bonds that absolutely no one but me knows about. DH is lovely and I doubt I'll need it for running away but it makes me feel so secure knowing it's there. Been building it up for years.

Orangeis · 28/02/2023 16:28

I have a fuck off fund, it's got about 10k in it. If I needed to I could also use my general savings for Christmas/ birthday/ holiday etc to add anoulther few K.
I'm not intending to fuck off, but I wonder if I'd want to fuck off if I didn't have the fund IYSWIM.
My Nan always told me to have one, she was a wise woman.

SpeccyHotdog · 28/02/2023 16:46

Yes, have 30k in a fuck off fund in premium bonds that no one knows about. It's taken me about 10 years to accumulate, and I'm going to spend the next ten years putting more aside until I can actually fuck off.

I watched my my mum struggle financially beholden to a man and she couldn't escape. I'll be advising my daughter when she's older to do the same.

Thepeopleversuswork · 28/02/2023 16:49

No, but I don't share money with my partner. I have savings and they are for me and me alone. Look after your own money and your own savings and you shouldn't need one.

lovedive · 28/02/2023 16:49

I'm not in a position where i would need one. But I have an account with cash in for any of my children should they need it. They are all adults with families and as well as to be used for an escape fund, it's also been used for private medical purposes. They know about it. They remember us having to flee when they were young with just our clothes. I hope they never have to access it

DashboardConfessional · 28/02/2023 16:54

No. But we're married with a lot of equity, both work, and have a car each in our names. Our current accounts are separate and savings joint. I guess one of us could technically empty the savings but the other would get an app notification!

xogossipgirlxo · 28/02/2023 16:55

No. All savings are in my bank account, if anything, my husband is screwed 😂

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