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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to homeschool for a year just for a new house

187 replies

SenoritaFajita · 28/02/2023 11:56

We’ve fallen for a new build which ticks almost all our boxes, and will be ready to move into this summer. We’d look to live here for at least the next 15 years.

The house is close to the office for both DH and I (we alternate wfh days) and also to DD1’s school.

However… DD2 will be starting Y6 in September and it wouldn’t be feasible for us to drive from the new house to her current school (total 2 hours driving back and forth each day).

As long as her 11+ results are as predicted, DD2 should be going to the same secondary school as DD1.

I don’t want her to start a new school in Y6 so I’m considering pulling her out of school altogether and homeschooling for the final year. Realistically this would mean Oak Academy for the 3 days I’m working, then I have 2 days off where we could do more “fun” and interactive learning.

She herself has said she wouldn’t mind missing out on her residential, final year performance and prom… but will she regret this? WWYD?

OP posts:
SavBlancTonight · 28/02/2023 11:59

You would need to be completely confident that she will be able to do well in the 11+ AND that you can keep up sufficiently so that when she starts Year 7 she has not slipped behind. That would be my concern. Could you stretch to some tuturing for her or home schooling communal classes?

restisall · 28/02/2023 12:00

How come you don’t want to put her in a new school for year 6? Moving away from her friends and not having the chance to meet new ones at school sounds quite isolating. Would she at least be in lots of clubs and things?

Jazz12 · 28/02/2023 12:01

I’d go for the house 100% and try new school for at least a few months.
Home schooling can be hard and lonely. My sister tried it in similar circumstances and it didn’t quite work out. Her son hated it.

Ostagazuzulum · 28/02/2023 12:01

If she goes to a local
primary school for year 6 then it might mean she has some local friends for summer hols and maybe know some people for when she starts secondary?

Kranke · 28/02/2023 12:01

i don’t understand Oak Academy, is it online? So you child will be doing online learning on their own whilst you work for 3 days a week?

Online meetings are hard enough on the eyes and mine aren’t even back to back. I don’t think being stuck to a screen with no interaction with their peers would be the best idea at that age.

Pootles34 · 28/02/2023 12:01

I think moving her would be advantageous, as she'll then start secondary with a bunch of friends from her new school. A new primary is much less scary than a new secondary!

Sirzy · 28/02/2023 12:03

Would you be able to keep up the pace enough that she wouldn’t be in for a massive shock to the system going into a grammar school?

what if she doesn’t pass?

i am a big fab of home Ed when it’s in the child’s best interest but reading this it seems to be driven by convenience instesd

OMGitsnotgood · 28/02/2023 12:07

She herself has said she wouldn’t mind missing out on her residential, final year performance and prom… but will she regret this? WWYD?

I am sure she will and she probably feels she has no choice but to say this.

Homeschooling will be just as disruptive to her as changing schools. As PPs have said, she would make new friends ready for going to her next school. Unless there is information you've not provided, I'm not really sure why you think homeschooling is preferable.

CatOnTheChair · 28/02/2023 12:11

DS1 started a new school in Y6.
It was fine, ad he went to secondary knowing at least a few people (we moved 3000 miles).
I wouldn't discount a new school for the last bit if primary.
What happens if she doesn't get the 11+ mark required?

Pondweed · 28/02/2023 12:14

I think you would be better off keeping her at her present school. Presumably you work from home. Could you not drive to her current school, work near there in a library for example and then drive her home.

OoooohMatron · 28/02/2023 12:15

This is probably one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. Either suck up the driving (2 hours is half an hour each way so nothing really), or move schools which is the most sensible option.

namechange3394 · 28/02/2023 12:15

Why would you rather homeschool than have her start a new school? Surely that is more of a big change for her?!

neverbeenskiing · 28/02/2023 12:15

I think you are underestimating the importance of a 'transition year' in terms of readiness for secondary. Most primary schools now do a huge amount of work preparing kids for how difficult secondary will be, they do this because so many kids (sometimes those who have been absolutely fine throughout primary) find it hard to adjust. Being out of school for a whole year and then suddenly going into a secondary environment where you don't know anyone is a very big thing. At least moving schools for Y6, while certainly daunting, would give your child the opportunity to make some local peer connections and better prepare them for secondary.

BishyBarnyBee · 28/02/2023 12:17

This would be really sad and lonely for your child. 3 days a week of Oak Academy while you work is no substitute for the experience of being in school with friends and having proper teaching.

It's not unusual for a child to start in Year 6, and while not ideal for her, much better than the home schooling proposal.

But I couldn't imagine wanting a house so much it would be more important to me than my child's wellbeing.

lieselotte · 28/02/2023 12:17

We moved house in my final year of primary school and I changed schools for the last term and a half. I can't see the problem with changing for the whole year at all.

Littleflowerseverywhere · 28/02/2023 12:17

That doesn’t sound like home schooling to me. It looks like leaving her alone to get on with it, and spending the two days you are there doing fun stuff.

so it would be a no from me. Because that’s not home schooling/

Crikeyalmighty · 28/02/2023 12:20

I would move her school . At that stage I think it will actually be less harmful than a year of home schooling

BitOutOfPractice · 28/02/2023 12:21

Why don't you want her to start a new school?

Dishwashersaurous · 28/02/2023 12:21

Just put her in a new school for a year. She will then know people to start secondary with.
Year 6 is really important for the transition to secondary school

PeekAtYou · 28/02/2023 12:21

You should check that any schools you would put on your application form don't have a feeder primary.

My ds started a new school in y6 and made friends who ended up going to the same secondary. He was not the only new student either.

PuttingDownRoots · 28/02/2023 12:22

DD did 4 terms in a primary school, then moved up lnowing lots of people. She had a lot of fun that year.

Do you mean the old school is only 30mins drive away? Lots of people do that sort of distance in rural areas.

Dishwashersaurous · 28/02/2023 12:22

And a million times easier to start at a primary school where you know no one, compared to starting at a secondary where you know no one

cryinginhmart · 28/02/2023 12:23

So you’ll leave her to do oak academy alone for 3 days and then do “fun stuff” with her in the hopes of getting her to maintain a standard to pass the 11+?

I’m going to be honest I think this is really shitty.

GPFavo · 28/02/2023 12:24

YABU.

You’re not even suggesting home schooling, you’re suggesting that you pull her out of school and put her in front of a screen playing shitty videos in a new location with no friends, social life or experiences. That’s not what home schooling is.

I’m also a tad confused how you’ve decided this is a calculated risk for a new build. They’re almost all identical, are struggling to sell and by the time one is sold five more have popped up. Just buy one that’s exactly the same on the development a mile down the road in a years time, surely? Is it even finished yet? My friends bought a new build and didn’t move in until over a year later than the original date given.

Briallen · 28/02/2023 12:25

No I wouldn’t do this. Is it 30 min to get current school so there and back twice a day is 2 hours? If so I would either drive her to school or if really not doable, start local new primary so she can make friends in the area. Asking a 10-11 to basically teach themselves for 3 days a week isn’t ideal

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