to homeschool for a year just for a new house

[SenoritaFajita]

We’ve fallen for a new build which ticks almost all our boxes, and will be ready to move into this summer. We’d look to live here for at least the next 15 years.

The house is close to the office for both DH and I (we alternate wfh days) and also to DD1’s school.

However… DD2 will be starting Y6 in September and it wouldn’t be feasible for us to drive from the new house to her current school (total 2 hours driving back and forth each day).

As long as her 11+ results are as predicted, DD2 should be going to the same secondary school as DD1.

I don’t want her to start a new school in Y6 so I’m considering pulling her out of school altogether and homeschooling for the final year. Realistically this would mean Oak Academy for the 3 days I’m working, then I have 2 days off where we could do more “fun” and interactive learning.

She herself has said she wouldn’t mind missing out on her residential, final year performance and prom… but will she regret this? WWYD?

Home schooling is NOT Oak Academy. Oak Academy is an online resource set up to help parents struggling through covid lockdowns. It cannot replace school, or good home ed (and, while impressive, much of Oak Academy was created in a huge rush, and isn’t great).

It is not possible to work and competently educate a yr 6 child unless you treat the 3 days you work as her weekend, hire an amazing nanny to keep her company and take her out and about for those 3 days, then you do full onhome education for the other 4 days ie you’ll be teaching her for the whole weekend, every weekend.

I’ve done home ed and it is much harder than you think, frankly after a couple of months ‘honeymoon period’ you get sick of the sight of each other. For a yr 6 child I would never recommend it unless there are serious problems ie SEN/bullying. A yr 6 child needs to be out and about away from her parents growing in independence and exploring the world, not stuck at home with mum.

When you say 2 hrs total a day do you mean school is only 30 min away, so 1 hr round trip in morning and same in afternoon? If so I know LOADS of parents who do that, and I also know several children who commute 50 min each way to school.

Best option is keep her where she is and commit to the long drive. If I have misunderstood you and it’s 2 hrs away (so 8 hrs driving per day) then you simply need to move her school for the final year.

Please don’t over-estimate yourself. You can’t teach yr 6 maths and science as well as a teacher, and sticking her in front if a computer for 3 days a week would do a huge amount of damage to her social development. You’d be setting yourself up for major social problems at secondary, particularly if she’s headed to a grammar school where she’ll need to be on the ball from day 1.

So you don't work two days a week and then you and DH wfh across the week? I think you need to sort with work to keep taking her to her current school. It's 30 minutes each way.

I moved schools in year 6 and it was fine - it's a good idea to contact the school in advance and find out if you need to sign her up for the residental while still in year 5, as it's a great bonding/independence experience.

This makes sense to me.

FWIW though my DS1s school is 45 minutes (in light traffic) away and usually longer than that each way. He has additional needs which means he cannot go by bus.

We have managed to work it out for the past 5 years - it's a pain, but doable and he is only in Year 8 so we will be doing it until the end of his schooling. I take him in the morning and get home by 09.15 and then mostly wfh. DH picks him up in the evenings and then makes up the time if he needs. Granted we have (one) good employer but we are not the only parents doing that by any stretch. It might be possible to think of the logistics if you would only be doing tghat for one academic year?

very best of luck to you all.

Hats off to you! I'm too scared to move 300 miles up the road let alone 3000!

I used to be so brave and then I had DC and now I'm soft as shit. 😂

(Sorry for the derail!!)

@SenoritaFajita currently have DS at grammar and he was home schooled pre starting school. For us it was absolutely feasible, with a huge home schooling community near us, we had zero concerns when it came to things like socialising etc.
I had my wobbles, wondering whether we were keeping up with standards in all areas. Well, I am truly shocked, DS is further ahead in all areas including humanities and sciences. It is doable, but of course it all depends on you, your family and community support.

Changing schools isn't always great, I changed schools in primary, fell like I was lost when it came to work and friends, hated school life in general after that.

Good luck with what you decide, but definitely find out about the local home ed community. and ask there (lots of Facebook groups too).

The obvious thing is for her to swap schools now. She is not you and your class you weren’t happy in in not her class. You are letting your own experience colour your decisions too much.

Your child would miss out on social relationships and also physically with sport, apart from having an untrained teacher. Move to the new school.so she has a head start with friends and program for next year.

@SenoritaFajita this is not how AIBU works! You’re not supposed to be DLL reasonable and take on board the advice 😆

do you know what word stuck out for me in your OP? Almost. The house ticks “almost all the boxes”. That doesn’t sound enough to me for you to turn everything upside down.

good luck with whatever you decide.

You should home school because you see the benefits of homeschooling.

However it sounds like you actually just want to make things easier for yourself and will actually mostly leave DD to her own devices.

I'd personally leave her where she is and suck up the driving. Can you find a working space near her school so you don't have to drive back and forth?

As child we moved houses when I was about to start year 6. My parents ferried me back and forth to the same primary for a year.

When I finished year 6 I went to the comp near to new house, and starting year 7 as a new kid with no primary school friends alongside me was tough, as every other child had at lease 15 or more other kids they already knew.

There was a great primary school 100 yards from our new house so no idea why they didn't move me, would definitely been the right call (although I would have protested at the time I imagine).

Also a year been shut in with just your parents for company cant do a child any favours.

Oak Academy is resources for teachers to plan lessons. So are you going to plan her lessons? Or do you just mean leaving her to muddle through by herself?

There are always children that move schools in Y6. At least then she will be with her friends.

Agree that half an hour each way every day is doable, for a year. Get some good podcasts and audioboojs, or use the time to chat with her.

Honestly - lots of kids move schools during primary (many more than in the past), including at the start of and even during Year 6. Don't let your past bad experience influence what's right for your DD.

There are some good reasons for homeschooling, but this isn't one. I think you'd both quickly regret it.

I can't see the problem in moving primaries in Y6 so I'd just do that. It'll make starting secondary easier too.

she will almost certainly be fine with a change of school.

even if you decide against that, surely 2 hours driving a day is going to be much easier for you than home schooling. Also factor in the impact of not socialising with other children.

I would go for the new house and new school. If she doesn't get on , you can pull her out and homeschool

No way. Put her in the school closest for a year. She’ll have a horribly lonely year at home. Y6 is a brill year! You get 11plus out the way by October and then it’s fun, friendships, sleepovers..it’s an important one, it marks the transition between being a proper primary aged child to becoming an more independent tween.

but definitely find out about the local home ed community. and ask there (lots of Facebook groups too).

This is probably worth looking at - I think there is a board on here as well.

However if you do home school I think it will need more of a plan than Oak Academy 3 days while you work - there are on-line schools you could check out and if she was signed up for local clubs to keep her social skills that could also work.

Can you have a frank conversation with the developer about time lines, explain that you're not in a rush and would prefer to know if there were going to be delays as that would actually be of benefit to you
These things rarely run to time.
If it is going to be ready this summer I would move her or suck up the commute for 9 months

Move her to another primary. We moved, admittedly in year 5 to avoid middle school. DD made lots of new friends and moved up to secondary with them. Had a fab year 6 with party, residential etc. I think DD will regret missing year 6.

We did similar for a while so if it really is a dream house I'd see if I could make it work. Our move was for dh work but ds really wanted to finish his final year at his old school.

For the first term until the Christmas holidays ds and I stayed in our old area in an air bnb on weeknights. Drove down on a Monday morning, home on Friday afternoon. Our school finished St lunchtime on a Friday so back home nice and early.

After that we did a mix of driving with me hanging around working in libraries and cafes in the old area and the odd night in an air bnb. It was an hour each way so we left home at 7.30am and were back by 4.30ish. That was annoying for me, I've never drunk so much coffee. But the time in the car was quite nice.

The spring term actually passed quite quickly with bank holidays, a week of school camp, and just knowing it was nearly over. And the odd sick day (but don't tell anyone).

It wasn't massively fun, it cost a bit, but we managed and after that time we were all in the same place in our lovely house and we've never moved since.

No way could l home school my kids as I don't have the patience or knowledge (I am educated through masters degree but they teach things differently and my focus is narrow). But I don't know what Oak Academy is - online? Would she be at home alone all day those days?

We moved mid year 6 (March) and our twins started the new school as soon as they could, absolutely no regrets.

As it was a feeder school for the secondary we wanted the friends they made then they’re still friends with now (year 8), also due to covid restrictions being removed around the same time, they got a chance for the residential, year 6 play and ‘prom’.

It wasn’t without bumps initially but I’m really glad the had the chance to finish primary with friends. And day one of secondary school was a lot less daunting.