To think a place can cause depression?

[Kittycattenklump]

I am wondering whether I might need a change of scene.

Appreciate that I am ‘lucky’ to live in a lovely place, I live and work in Windermere, Lake District, and have done for the past 6 years. I am 2 yrs single and happy with that, have some nice friends and am happily self employed, but recently I am coming to feel that the place itself makes me feel this weird depression, like a hopelessness, that I don’t feel when I visit other places or stay with my longer distance friends.

I left for a year during the pandemic, and it doesn’t feel the same since coming back. Even the people coming here seem different somehow. But I can’t explain. There was previously a kind of nature lover/alternative vibe which is now missing.
I rent and the prices seem to have flown up in the past year -although that’s an issue everywhere, there’s a sadness to it here as what’s left of the market is dated or drab for a very high price. Local friends are depressed with the housing situation as many are sold off to airB&B.

I am comfortable financially but the manic switch of quiet grey gloom then heavy tourism has begun to put me on edge, something hard to explain.
Perhaps the balance has shifted and it’s no longer the right place for me, no matter the grandeur of the landscape. It feels like a giant commodity, bland and soulless recently.

other areas of my life are great, so i do suspect I might be up for a move. Would you consider it? Would you live here? Would love some thoughts on this as I haven’t discussed it with anyone yet.

Me 3

And it is such a shame this opinion of rentals persists, because as a renter I am very mindful of my home and want it to be beautiful and cared for. Sadly we can’t choose structural or many other alterations in an effort to keep things nice - although I have been lucky to live in some fabulous, attractive houses in my time!
BTL don’t care much, they leave dated, ugly fixtures in the houses and the outside areas are bleak. Nothing a tenant can do here apart from choose with their pocket. Many cant, so the issues perpetuate.

Many homeowners and renters allow property to degrade, but of course there is more incentive to keep up if your home is your investment.

Yet for me, my rent is also my investment, it is my home, my work, my life, so I want it to be lovely. We don’t get all that much time here on earth!

we (the proverbial) really needn’t have such a low opinion of renting, it is great for many of us who don’t wish to stay fixed or on maintenance mode. All of our housing should have dignity and care. It’s depressing.

Interesting thread.

I get the same vibe from the ‘nice, home county’ parts of the south east (Sussex, Surrey etc). It seems so pruned and self conscious, like it’s really trying to be an upmarket yet vibrant place but everyone is just acting the part and there’s no real atmosphere. Like everyone is from somewhere else, worked in London, moved out slightly to get their kids away from the city scum but are ever so slightly bored and competitive.

This is so interesting, and not something people often discuss, but I do think many of us have experienced it.
I’m reminded of sick building syndrome, but I think that refers to office blocks.

i lived somewhere like this, a haunted aspect with a cloying depression, yet nothing visually discernible.

This is a very interesting thread. I am miserable where I am living at the moment. Moved here for family reasons and because I spent my teenage years here. I knew it was a mistake as soon as we moved in and have spent every day since planning to get away. Unfortunately we are now in a situation where its very difficult to do so because a family member is reliant on us. It makes me feel incredibly trapped, down hearted and depressed. I have tried to join things, meet people and develop a positive mindset but I just can't . The time we have spent here has been very difficult, compounded by Covid and there are very few good memories. I haven't liked the house since the day we moved in. It is North facing and has a dark hallway. I am extremely sensitive to light and atmosphere. I feel closed in, claustrophobic and uninspired. In addition, we live in a very busy area with sirens going all the time, buses and cars constantly log jammed, and access to nature is all very over peopled .I just cannot be happy here and don't know what to do.

We stayed in the Lakes a couple of years ago and though I am very familiar with the area, don't usually go in peak season. We were staying in a touristy village this time at peak season and it was mobbed. I hated it. For the first time I found it oppressive and claustrophobic . All the restaurants and pubs were full to capacity, over priced and with poor food on offer in general. I hated it and its put me right off going back.

I have always found Wales really depressing, and some parts of Cornwall, but others I love. Definitely mood can be influenced by where you live, and if you are unhappy, do all you can to get out. I have heard that valleys can cause negative energy to be trapped and affect wellbeing.

Also, the number of shops that are shutting because they have gone bust or can't afford the rent doesn't help the general ambiance in built up areas. It's shocking.

I can look across the Solent and see the Lake District from my window. I think a place does effect your mood, I love living where I live and everyday it lifts my mood. So I totally understand why some areas have the opposite effect. Personally I wouldn't live in the Lake District if you paid me a million pounds. It's heaving in tourists for a large part of the year I would hate that. I regularly meet people who've crossed the boarder who come from the Lake District and/or the Yorkshire Dales all comment on the lack of peace and quiet in both areas and then on how lucky they are too have moved to Dumfries and Galloway with its stunning scenery; hills, moorland, pasture, woodland, Lochs, waterfalls, miles of rugged coast line, beaches of every kind plus hardly anybody lives here so total peace and quiet

Quite agree.

I think places can be depressing for you because something in them doesn't chime with some part of you- your need for space, or a certain type of light, or the people around you and so on. Or they remind you of an unpleasant emotion, like an echo. I'm not convinced everyone in Bath or Brighton is depressed however.

The whole of the UK is looking ropey. There's another thread on this right now. Parks are untended, roads are unswept, leaves clogging up drains, pot holes everywhere, buildings not cleaned and then a pandemic in which people had to holiday in the Uk so clustered in the touristy areas whilst being quite traumatized. I don't think anywhere is feeling uplifting right now if you ask a lot of people.

So think carefully what you want to do next- what do you want out of a place and where might provide that. Moving is a great idea for a fresh start, if you can keep friends as well. But a lot of beautiful areas for tourists are all beset by the same problems of the local economy tanking except for tourists, Air B and B wrecking the local rental market and so on.

I love where I live. It's very touristy but I see that as a sign that it's lovely and people want to come here! In summer, I love it but live a very particular way, I stay home in the day, have picnics, the doors open, enjoy the sun and then go out in the late afternoon and early evening to the beach to get away from the crowds. Sunsets are lovely. I don't ever eat out on Sunday lunchtime in high season, I go for early brunch with a friend. I adapt around the tourists, I don't attempt to follow them round and then get frustrated they are there. There are also very specific things about this area which I prefer to other parts of the country I've lived in but that others may hate- it's super-green as it rains all the time. I like it but someone else might find the dampness annoying!

Perhaps do some visits/try some places out to see how they might feel,, but do take account of the fact that everyone seems quite down at present, more than usual, so there is a general gloom that probably isn't just about the area you live.

The UK, along with many other countries, is a worrying place at the moment. This stress is not just affecting the behaviour and mood of individuals, but also their perception of their environment.

And while I do agree that places can make you depressed, I have also experienced the dark cloud following me to new locations.

On the other hand, a new place and a fresh start might lift your mood anyway.

Some places can be depressing and sometimes it clear now bit grotty or run down other times it's harder to pin point however sometimes it's the people you come into contact with being down - due to housing/work issues, cost of living and that brings you down.

If you've been away a bit could be fresh eyes or place moving on without you a bit.

If you can easily move I'd give it a try - we are on the welsh side of the border when we first moved here town center - money had been spent on center- and secondary were on the up and have since dropped a lot but we love the house and feel settled something we never did in previous location.

Someone else mentioned feeling that Ambleside was like a film set. Tintagel feels the same way to me. It's such a pointless place . Crap for tourists and crap for locals

I will definitely give these comments a lot of thought, thank you.

For rents, it’s fascinating that in many run down areas the prices are similar to much nicer areas. Not sure if this applies to buying/selling though.
If you can be geographically mobile/fluid this is great but not so much if you are tied to schools, work, etc.

I am currently looking on rightmove at two houses - one in Wigan (Greater Manchester) and one in Shrewsbury (Shropshire). Same price but astonishingly different. The one in Wigan is in a known drug/crime infested street. The Shrewsbury house is beautiful and in a nice place, with a fairytale garden and gorgeous inside.

it’s a mess.

Ambleside is weird, lol. Nice people locally though.

@Kittycattenklump

Yes! That's it - sick building syndrome!

it is a cloying sensation , like being wrapped in a heavy embrace and it's squeezing the air out of you. Interesting that you've experienced something similar,I don't often talk about it because it's hard for most people to understand.

I've saged the place, including the oppressive cellar, but no change unfortunately.

We've been renters twice and looked after the properties. Lots of renters do but unfortunately those where we live now do not.

A lot of family and friends rent and all look after the property and in some cases above and beyond when their landlord clearly doesn't. But at the moment, where we are it really is a big divide between owners and renters as to how they conduct themselves.

Regarding Tintagel, like Grasmere it is likely a shell, a husk of what once was a fascinating or lovable place for many. An empty, hollow space with investment property and cosmopolitan eateries. Not quite the dream village people are seeking, but the marketing is stroooooong.

Most of these types of places are now hollowed out, a ghost of their former selves. Grasmere reminds me of an open air garden centre with a cafe, some raincoats and a London style hotel. Lovely scenery, but nothing of substance.

I know what you mean, and I can’t relate to renters who shit on their own money this way.

Interesting you feel like you do. I'm.the same and live in a similar place.

We've lived here 30 years and our area was where families lived and the holiday homes were just down the road as you approach the sea. During COVID it seemed an idyllic place to be but then came the crazy house market and people being kicked out of rentals for holiday homes or for sale. We now have 5 out of 7 neighbours that are holiday homes. Additionally, the cost of living crisis has hit and local people are struggling, I'm.sure businesses must be too, and I wonder how good the summer will be given the oversupply of accommodation.

It also feels like a doom has blown in.

I've not been well - having lost my Mum quite suddenly last year- so a lot is put down to that, but reading this, I'm not so sure. I think there is a sort of PTSD created by the pandemic which I looming it's head.

I sorry to hear about your mum.
mine passed away a few years ago, too. I think fief opens you up emotionally and you become more sensitive to surroundings and people in your life. However, this sensitivity is likely truth, a clarity that grief can bring, which forces us to assess our lives.
I would say never make a big, immediate life decision after a loss (been there!), but don’t push those feelings away either. Keep an eye on how you feel and trust your judgement going forward.

Gawd, please excuse iPad typos

@Kittycattenklump Kittycattenklump

If you're considering Shrewsbury, also might be worth having a look at bridgnorth . Shropshire imo is very underrated and down played, but there are some beautiful rural/semi rural areas which thankfull y have retained both their character and amenities, but importantly, are still affordable! Bewdley( I think technically may be Worcestershire) is also thriving market town, with pretty river running through it and arty independent shops alongside supermarkets etc. Depends how much you need to rely on public transport though, because neither of these places have a train station, although Kidderminster station is only couple miles from bewdley. Also, cleobury mortimer ( small rural town)/ Ludlow(large town with train station and easy links to wales, but you do get the tourist issue here) may fit the bill?

I agree about Shropshire.
Having lived in Ludlow, although briefly, I can honestly say that the tourist onslaught is nowhere near the level of the Lakes. It's almost a delight in comparison. There is an actual community and stuff going on that isn't dependent upon visitors.
I am definitely drawn to this area, perhaps the more northern end, will give it some thought.

@beastlyslumber

DD3 visited Edinburgh last summer and got so depressed she stayed in her hotel until it was time to go home. Her friends brought food back from the restaurants they ate in. When she got back to Dublin her mood immediately lifted.

@Kittycattenklump

Would you consider Northern Ireland?