To think a place can cause depression?

[Kittycattenklump]

I am wondering whether I might need a change of scene.

Appreciate that I am ‘lucky’ to live in a lovely place, I live and work in Windermere, Lake District, and have done for the past 6 years. I am 2 yrs single and happy with that, have some nice friends and am happily self employed, but recently I am coming to feel that the place itself makes me feel this weird depression, like a hopelessness, that I don’t feel when I visit other places or stay with my longer distance friends.

I left for a year during the pandemic, and it doesn’t feel the same since coming back. Even the people coming here seem different somehow. But I can’t explain. There was previously a kind of nature lover/alternative vibe which is now missing.
I rent and the prices seem to have flown up in the past year -although that’s an issue everywhere, there’s a sadness to it here as what’s left of the market is dated or drab for a very high price. Local friends are depressed with the housing situation as many are sold off to airB&B.

I am comfortable financially but the manic switch of quiet grey gloom then heavy tourism has begun to put me on edge, something hard to explain.
Perhaps the balance has shifted and it’s no longer the right place for me, no matter the grandeur of the landscape. It feels like a giant commodity, bland and soulless recently.

other areas of my life are great, so i do suspect I might be up for a move. Would you consider it? Would you live here? Would love some thoughts on this as I haven’t discussed it with anyone yet.

On its own? No.

A contributing factor? Certainly.

I do think places absorb the energy (for want of a better word). This can build up over millennia, because of certain events. It can also change very quickly if there is a sudden influx of the opposite energy.

at the same time a place might just have an incompatible energy to yourself. Personal energy might also change over time.

Both these things can mean that what was once compatible is no longer compatible.

I know some people think this is a bit woo which is fine but that’s my explanation

I don’t think it’s woo at all, which is often a derogatory term for what would once have been considered sensitive, feminine aspects of the psyche. I don’t hold by masc/fem terms in general but we do seem to assign negativity to many of the softer, more nuanced, female elements of our being these days, as if feeling and sensitivity are shameful somehow. I would be happy to see this hard, harsh, leathery cold attitude warm up a bit ( but without orbs, lol).

i know what you mean, the feminine (in terms of spiritual gender) is receptive. I think the world has become disproportionately a masculine -projective energy- things are out of balance (I use the gendered terms purely in their traditional spiritual sense which has nothing to do with sex).

everything has an aura and they leak if damaged.

@Kittycattenklump I live near/work in the Cotswolds. I have absolutely noticed a shift in countryside users (for want of a better word). I think it’s due to lockdowns. It’s more crowded, more people for whom the great outdoors isn’t quite enough, they need to augment it with cross country bikes, giant kites/parachutes etc, and I think COVID & the lockdowns did damage to society that we are only just beginning to see the results of.

This is a very interesting thread OP for what it’s worth I personally have never liked the Lake District. Had a horrible holiday near Windermere with my DS, DM and my sister and her then boyfriend. It was many years ago. A small holiday cottage that had the most horrifying ‘vibe’ for want of a better word. We heard voices muttering threateningly all night (no other people around). My son woke in the night absolutely burning up with a high temperature, very ill. We were all arguing with each other the following morning not like us at all. We left as soon as we could. My son recovered quickly but we ended up totally lost trying to get home. I don’t think anyone could have lived in that cottage full time and survived it!
I think where I live now does depress me. We have a nice house and our area would appear OK to an outsider. It’s a very unfriendly place though. I am quite reclusive because of it. We ended up here to care for my DH’s late DP’s. My problem like others on the thread is where to go? My hometown is friendlier and I feel like I belong when I visit, but the town is quite rundown now. My DH is open to moving but won’t consider any house that he views as a ‘down grade’ on the one we have now.

@Palmfrond I do agree with you about covid, it is very tangible but not easy to put into words. my friend lives in an urban area that has completely changed since the pandemic, from soaring crime to unchecked anti social issues. It is like authority has broken down and a kind of apathy from residents too. And the housing isn’t cheap there! it’s like we are all being gaslighted by the market

The visitors are different in the lakes too, used to be rather diverse from all walks of life with a leaning to slightly alternative and outdoorsy. Everywhere you looked there was a backpack, a lot of walking and canoes, bikes etc.
Now they’re in large groups done up to the nines with sweeping puffa coats and bling. I haven’t spotted a rucksack or visible walker for a while and they used to be all over here in winter.

I think people come to the lakes now to eat and drink, and dont tend to go 500 yards from where they park.

The house can be a red herring. I would be happy with a quirky home, somewhere I can read, paint and grow herbs. I am a quiet person who just likes a few close friends and nice walks. I can’t find anywhere that fits my description currently that I am able to get to.

Everyone tends to recommend Clitheroe, Harrogate, Kirkby Lonsdale in the north west but I’m not interested in property ‘value’ or appearances, I just want something laid back and slightly diverse (not all one social background). Windermere used to be great but not now.

My DP is from the Lake District, I lived there with him for a couple of years and also found it a deeply depressing place. It's even more noticeable when we go back to visit, everyone we know there is depressed and their lives seem to get more and more miserable every time we see them.

It is a beautiful place but it's always cold and wet, even the summers I've spent there have been pretty rubbish. There really isn't much happening or anything to do unless you like hiking in the rain or brooding on mountain tops. In the rain. Or freezing to death in a lake.

@Kittycattenklump I think you are right about the house being a red herring. I sometimes think my DH probably just doesn’t want the hassle of moving as he has quite a nice life here! I also think the lack of diversity in social backgrounds that you mention is a contributing factor to my depression with my local area. I think laid back and slightly diverse with nice walks sounds perfect! I hope you find your happy place😊.

I think people come to the lakes now to eat and drink, and dont tend to go 500 yards from where they park.
And if they do they have to have a disposable cup of coffee that they just fling at the side of the track
I’ve been going to the Lakes for 50 years. The attitude of visitors to the popular places is appalling. It was always busy, but now it’s more like invaded.

I hate where I live so much I want to cry. 15 years here and stuck til the kids leave school. Sounds like a lot of you - was once nice but is now filled with housing estates & also I’m on the HS2 line so all the local countryside has been totally decimated. It’s flat, scrubby, brown and full of lorries now. whenever I go back to my hometown (which I love) I am so happy, like a weight has been taken off me and I feel ‘myself’ again. When I come back here I feel instantly depressed as I drive up the ugly streets towards my house. I absolutely hate it and as soon as we can move I will go and never, ever come back again.

For a country with such extortionately expensive housing I am surprised how much of it is so ugly

Thank you, and I hope you can find something right for you, too, eventually.

@Pigeonchested I feel for you if you don’t mind me asking how much longer do you have to stay there ? HS2 is an abomination.

I think the UK is in terminal decline now. I often remark to dh about how we're all like hamsters in ugly plastic cages, running constantly on a wheel with no chance of escape to something kinder and more natural.

I think the invasion of the countryside was going on long before covid because we've been avoiding weekend and summer day trips for years now. They're full of loud, brash, rude and entitled people dragging equally loud kids everywhere with their huge toys, litter and ugly music which they inflict upon everyone.

I live in a lovely little abbey town. In the last 3 or 4 years we've lost most of our independent shops due to rising rates and rents, so much green belt land has been built on with very poor quality high density housing which is already looking shabby and a lot of the houses are BTL now and I am afraid they are not looked after like they would be by a home owner. Our immediate area was a lovely little community and having communal areas everyone had to be considerate as to not cause issues. Now it's every man and woman for themselves and we get frequent issues with being blocked in, people dumping rubbish and generally the place looks untidy, verging on dirty. We have rats in our garden as two doors down stores his rubbish for weeks on end in his garden (renter). We have a communal bin store but he's too lazy. We don't even know the landlord - some company in London who bought the house online.

I really do think the country is feeling very tired and very jaded. The places I used to go I don't like so much - more people/dogs/awful housing developments. A lot of the houses are empty as people can't afford them.

We are in the process of moving closer to family but under no illusions that nowhere is going to be like it was, even 10 years ago. Everything feels more isolated and downbeat really quite depressing. Like an undertone of a dystopian movie.

So in short, yes a place can make you depressed (I feel like that in Rural Scotland) but I think there is an element of that everywhere now.

Yes the Lakes feels like this to me too, just heavy and faceless, I wouldn’t want to live there. Some places definitely give you a depressed feeling. I lived in a run-down, dirty, rubbish-strewn inner suburb of Birmingham for a few years, in a mouldy flat with no central heating. There was an aggressive neighbour with a barking dog one side and an alcoholic neighbour who’d break in come round and drink any booze we had in the house on the other. That place for sure made me depressed.

I feel for you, in a similar position, used to be a really nice Suberin with countryside on door Step, now we have to drive through housing estate after housing estate. The area has become a crime hotspot.

We joke that the day DS finishes his last exams we’ll be waiting for him in the removal van outside school.

@Kittycattenklump have you thought about living on a moveable option such as a narrowboat?

As someone single and childless, I fit in better in cities than in the town I now live. And that has been difficult.

Happiest places apparently… you have to scroll down for the tip 20

www.which.co.uk/news/article/revealed-the-happiest-places-to-live-in-great-britain-in-2022-aRVdf3l80IOC

The moors do this to me. I feel physically sick driving over them.

Yes I do. 100%. I'm my current house I feel so enclosed , like the walls are literally pressing in on me. I have to throw open the Windows , even in freezing temperatures, just to get some " life" in the place. It's very difficult to describe, but it's almost like stale trapped energy which I can't remove . The atmosphere is thick and heavy. It's suffocating. I honestly can't out my finger on what it is as despite redecorating and putting nice little homely touches everywhere, the " heaviness" remains. It's puzzled me for so long as aesthetically it looks nice, but there's just something not right. I absolutely hate the living room and will only use it in the evening when some candles and warm lighting can lift it temporarily, but even then it's not cozy. I don't feel like it's a menacing spooky vibe, it's just lifeless.

I think it absolutely can, too

Feel like a different person now (in a good way) compared to where I was

Watching this thread with interest