To think a place can cause depression?

[Kittycattenklump]

I am wondering whether I might need a change of scene.

Appreciate that I am ‘lucky’ to live in a lovely place, I live and work in Windermere, Lake District, and have done for the past 6 years. I am 2 yrs single and happy with that, have some nice friends and am happily self employed, but recently I am coming to feel that the place itself makes me feel this weird depression, like a hopelessness, that I don’t feel when I visit other places or stay with my longer distance friends.

I left for a year during the pandemic, and it doesn’t feel the same since coming back. Even the people coming here seem different somehow. But I can’t explain. There was previously a kind of nature lover/alternative vibe which is now missing.
I rent and the prices seem to have flown up in the past year -although that’s an issue everywhere, there’s a sadness to it here as what’s left of the market is dated or drab for a very high price. Local friends are depressed with the housing situation as many are sold off to airB&B.

I am comfortable financially but the manic switch of quiet grey gloom then heavy tourism has begun to put me on edge, something hard to explain.
Perhaps the balance has shifted and it’s no longer the right place for me, no matter the grandeur of the landscape. It feels like a giant commodity, bland and soulless recently.

other areas of my life are great, so i do suspect I might be up for a move. Would you consider it? Would you live here? Would love some thoughts on this as I haven’t discussed it with anyone yet.

It’s strange when your experience of a place is so at odds with the expectation. I’ve only visited the Lake District a couple of times and it felt very unreal and a bit disturbing to me. Beautiful but not real.
Other places that make me feel out of sorts and can’t really explain why, are Bath, Nottingham, Bournemouth & Brighton. Actually I know about Brighton - I received some horrible news when I was visiting.

Cornishsocks
Totally agree, I can't work out who it is who's had an aesthetics bypass- the developers of these incongruously shiny, overly massive "family" homes, or the buyers. There's a row I can literally see from my window that are all 4- 5 bedrooms, huge footprints, grey cladding...and they're all occupied by older couples who have planted griselina or laurel in the Cornish hedges 🙄

Do you mean the passivhaus development at Jubilee Wharf? I used to have a studio there! (preens).

I reckon it depends on the person and preference

I had a brief period of looking just outside London and the places were pretty big etc but I just felt depressed at the thought

Others would far prefer it, which I get but not for
me

@crackofdoom I think I know where you mean!! They'll look awful in a few years!

The passivhaus at Swanpool on the corner. Just looks so lovely there. 😊

This is really interesting and I do think some people are more sensitive to their surroundings than others.

My child switched from one school to another. The walk to the first school I really enjoyed. Lovely roads to get there, not too busy etc. the walk to the new school I loathe and I've struggled to work out why. The schools are probably only a mile apart if that, but it feels so different and I've started driving some of the time as I find it hard to shake off the gloom. We may move and I'm working out the walk to school from each house I look at. Which seems bonkers, but it really does bother me.

I echo everyone that has said about how run down everywhere is feeling. My local high street has always been what you'd call functional, but now it's half empty it feels like it's lost something important. I really don't like going in unless I have to. I normally go to the next town over. I fantasise about moving there when the kids are older and we can downsize (it's much nicer so thus much more expensive)

OP it sounds like you're really in tune with your feelings and if you can make a change then go for it. If you can afford it, maybe see about talking to a therapist or coach that can help you unpick everything in a non biased way? Before you take a big leap it's worth seeing if smaller adjustments can give you the lift you need.

Somewhere near the sea that isn’t completely dependent on tourism, has a year round ‘buzziness’ with good shops and transport links. And dog friendly 😊 🐕

I've only ever lived on the "edges" of England, so can't say about anywhere central, but I have always been happier on the east side rather than the west - quite possibly because the west gets more rain, so is naturally greyer and damper.

This sounds like Exeter to me 😊

I used to live in a touristy city (think, Edinburgh, York, that kind of place). I hadn't completely fallen out of love with it, but after 10 years there, there was nothing that excited me about the place anymore. It felt like the city increasingly existed for tourists, and many of my friends had moved away so I really felt a lack of community. I moved away a few years ago and it's been nice to have a change of scenery! It has also made me gain a renewed appreciation for the city where I once lived and I would consider moving back one day. I'm happy with my decision to try living elsewhere, I think sometimes a bit of change can be good.

I understand this. I grew up in Belfast during the Troubles, but the levels of disruption on main roads and in the city centre no doubt contributed to my mental state. However, I did live in quite a green area - close to two parks, lots of trees, various little independent shops on the main road. My late Mum was instrumental in helping me move away to be with my OH, stating that if she could live her life again that her and Dad would have moved for good.

My OH is from West Yorkshire, and I've been here over 10 years now. My mental state is worse than ever. But it's not so easy to just up and move due to health, money and practically all my links to home dead. The area we live in was described as "up and coming" yet I hear more sirens here than I ever did back home. And both my accent and ND mark me as different, and therefore negative. Much feels quite "off" and there is a distinct lack of greenery with every spare bit of land built on. Empty shop units and small pubs where the overspill on sunny days is loud men giving off vibes that could turn nasty at any moment.

I don't mean to offend anyone in my description but this is my perception.

A place can absolutely contribute to our mental and emotional state, I think in fact it always does in different ways. Often it's very personal, to do with associations, experiences, personal taste, etc.. However, there is also a field of work called neuro-architecture, or the psychology of buildings! I know you're talking about an area as opposed to your actual building you live in, but it goes to show that our surroundings have profound impact on our wellbeing and emotions.

I think it is totally valid that you're not feeling in sync with the vibe of the place you live any more. It definitely happens. I feel very different in Edinburgh vs Leeds vs Tully (a small town in Australia), for so many reasons - but the difference in how I feel simply being in those locations is fundamental.

Ultimately, you don't need a concrete, objective reason to move. Of course it is a big decision, and it might pay to find somewhere that is still near enough to your friends and social network, but a new location might be just what you need. New opportunities, new vibe, new era.

I relate to this a lot, and I'm West Yorkshire born - lived here my whole life. Sometimes the surroundings uplift me, but very often, I do struggle with the "greyness" and what are often run down towns and deprived population. That's not snobbishness on my part - I'm from and live in a very deprived area and am very much part of the low-income bracket. That doesn't mean it doesn't get hard, being surrounded by people struggling, litter-strewn town centres and businesses frequently closing.
The area one lives in absolutely affects mental health and mood, in my opinion. Doesn't mean you're doomed to feel bad if you live in a not-great area, because it's all about perception and other factors, but surroundings are very impactful I think.

This was an earlier interesting "Places affecting mood" thread, which also mentions a possible connection to radon gas:
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3826348-To-ask-for-your-experiences-with-Bath-strange-atmospheres?reply=94033812

Hey! Very close 😊

Cornishsocks hadn't noticed that one- I'm going to have a nose next time I'm passing now.

Oh wow!! That's so interesting... I'm going to give this a read.

I find the grey stone walls and the weather make me feel depressed when we holiday in the lakes, I only go because my husband loves the place.

YANBU at all.

I rented a "luxury" flat that was half the ground floor of a mansion. Massive rooms with big high ceilings and fireplaces that are as tall as me. The living room was big enough for a massive 7 seater sofa, giant TV, a pool table and two very large desks and still had plenty of floor space clear.

It was also amazingly cheep (sub £450 for two bedrooms). There was a private car park, CCTV outside, massive lovely gardens, nice neighbors and the landlord was lovely. The whole place was too good to be true and I lived there for 5 years.

Within a year of moving in my mental health had gone to shit. I was constantly stressed and anxious. By the three year mark I was getting daily visits from the crisis team. I'd have nightmares several times a week, some about someone breaking in others just random nasties chasing me. A frequently recurring one was where I'd be barricading my front door for hours pushing back against something trying to get in. Every time I'd manage to push them back far enough to lock the door, it would swing right through the frame and I'd have to start pulling it closed instead. I'd be trapped in this battle all night never managing to get the door properly in the frame and lock it.

Every time the doorbell rang I'd go hide under my bed until whoever it was went away. I stopped trusting people and slowly distanced myself from everyone and spent more and more time locked in that flat alone.

One day I just felt like I couldn't take it anymore and took an overdose. Luckily my boyfriend found me and got me help.

Soon after I decided to move because I wanted to adopt two kittens and I wasn't allowed pets there. The crisis team recommended I adopt them and I'm very thankful they did.

I moved into a smaller pet friendly flat 3 streets away just a couple of weeks later and pretty much started recovering instantly. The nightmares stopped, the doorbell didn't bother me. The dreams about some breaking in went away. I started meeting up with friends and family again. It's like I just left behind every issue I had behind in the old place. I've been in the new one for 8 years now and no relapse at all.

Some places just have a strange energy and it can really affect you. If you think this might be the case try staying somewhere else for a few days and see if you feel any different.

Maybe those who are more sensitive to their environment are HSP’S I know I am .I live in a city ,always have but have a yearning to live somewhere coastal and more open. I live in a nice area a couple of minutes walk from a lovely park but more and more I feel I am living in a bubble .I just don’t want to go into the city anymore.
I love Wales and would move there in a heartbeat but there are some inland mountainous regions that I wouldn’t want to live . They feel too dark and grey.
I feel trapped at the moment as DH and I can’t agree on where to move to.

@crackofdoom I agree about town planning, new builds and UK architecture - mostly designed around greed/profit with no consideration for beauty (important!) or wellbeing. It’s kind of like a brick built rat race isn’t it? The human element all but ignored. And I do think that we are all brainwashed to some extent to prioritise owning a pile of bricks over anything else in life, no matter how expensive, or soul destroying that can be.
Many countries have thriving, excellent rental markets, yet in the UK we are supposed to believe it is ‘throwing money away’ as the national obsession with ownership has become toxic and exclusionary.

There are so many large estates now with no infrastructure and most people heavily car dependent.

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Thanks for sharing everyone, it seems that our built environment has the potential to deeply affect our mood and wellbeing, just as our natural environment does. We are all different, but I do believe we accumulate these effects even if we are unconscious of them.

I am a landscape painter and do feel my surroundings deeply. Oddly enough I do. It feel creatively inspired so much in the Lakes!

I like the idea of semi rural, perhaps Shropshire? I dont wish to buy as I like the freedom of renting, and possibly couldn’t afford to buy the type of place I’d accept - so I’m financially safe to survive for a few years if out of work but not to the extent of a detached in my idea of heaven, haha!

Sorry for typo - “i do not feel creatively inspired so much in the lakes”

I think I'm quite sensitive to light. I grew up somewhere closer to the equator than here so the differential between morning and afternoon light was much starker and sometimes as a child I'd find afternoons unbearable. If I was somewhere green and lovely like a nice garden it made it okay though.
When the light softened and became golden in the evening I'd then get a huge feeling of relief and peace.

@Praying4Memory that is fascinating and horrifying! It's almost like a horror film, what a thing to do through but thank goodness you moved.
I know what you mean as we were temporarily in a beautiful old period house and I viscerally hated it. I felt like an inconsequential ghost who was haunting it, like I couldn't make any impression on it at all, and when I was indoors I felt like I was cut off from the rest of the world. We'd go out endlessly and returning was a misery every time.

Also this is a typical example of a rental bathroom in the north west / south lakes for around 800 - 1,000 pcm. It’s appalling.

That's interesting. I grew up in the South Wales valleys, I find large hills reassuring. Flat places on the other hand make me feel agoraphobic and exposed.

Where I grew up was (and is) a bit of a shithole, frankly, but there was some beautiful scenery.