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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum being targeted because of her age

55 replies

missb10 · 26/02/2023 00:51

My Mum is in her 80s and last week had someone at her house saying he had been cleaning the moss off her roof while she was out and wanted to be paid. He said that he worked for the company who put the tiles on her roof a few years ago. Well how are we supposed to know? She refused to pay him and her neighbours and I agreed that she did the right thing. The thing is, she is worried now that he will come back. She intends to refuse to pay, but she is worried. I would be concerned about this if it happened to me, but even more so because she is an old lady living on her own. Can people on here stick up for her?

OP posts:
Twillow · 26/02/2023 00:57

Of course she did the right thing. No-one legitimately does work and expects to be paid without being asked to do it.
Get her a ring doorbell.

Badgerandfox227 · 26/02/2023 01:01

It is concerning that she is letting people she does not know into her home at such a vulnerable age. Agree that she needs better security, Ring doorbell or similar is a great idea.

Aquamarine1029 · 26/02/2023 01:02

She needs to report this to the police immediately. This is a shakedown scam and your mother is absolutely not the first potential victim.

Aquamarine1029 · 26/02/2023 01:03

He said that he worked for the company who put the tiles on her roof a few years ago. Well how are we supposed to know?

There's nothing to know. This man is a con artist. Your mum did the right thing by refusing to pay. She now needs to report this.

alexdgr8 · 26/02/2023 01:04

ring the police.
and make sure that she never opens the door if she is alone in the house.
get a beware of the dog sign.

Stopthebusplease · 26/02/2023 01:09

Totally agree that your Mum did the right thing. Does she have a chain on her door OP? If not, can I suggest you get one and install it a.s.a.p. If she has a solid door, then getting a spy hole would also be a good idea, so that she can see who is there, don't get me wrong I agree with others about the ring doorbell, but as she's elderly she may prefer to go a more 'old fashioned' route. You will then have to encourage her to use the spy hole, (if fitted) and the chain, EVERY single time she goes to the door. That way, she has some protection from this horrible chancer. I would also be inclined to report this episode to the police so that they are aware that this sort of thing is happening in the neighbourhood. Tell your Mum 'well done' from me for being so sensible and not allowing herself to be bullied into paying for something she didn't ask for in the first place.

Liorae · 26/02/2023 01:13

On the bright side, I doubt he will return after being rebuffed

Sugarfree23 · 26/02/2023 01:19

Get her a Ring / Nest / similar door bell so they know they are being filmed and you can see whos going to her door.

My friends mum was stung a few times by a conartist 'fixing her roof'. Claiming they could see tiles that had slipped and would fix them for £££. He did the same thing a few time before my friend caught on to it.

Fromwetome · 26/02/2023 01:58

@Badgerandfox227 where does it say she let him into her home????

Fromwetome · 26/02/2023 02:00

OP ring doorbell is the best bet, the notifications can come up on your phone too, so that any time someone walks past or comes up to your mums door you can check who it is. My boss does this at his 84yr old mums house. He was able to tell roofing scammers to piss off very quickly!

Threee · 26/02/2023 02:17

Two things..

report to police

get a ring doorbell which will put people off scamming, give recoded images and two way communication through the speaker which you/mum/other loved ones can utilise.

Floralnomad · 26/02/2023 02:21

Ring doorbell or camera outside , a chain if she’s not got one and a No Cold
Callers sign . Ring the police about the roof cleaning man .

Led9519 · 26/02/2023 02:28

Not every 80 year old can have a ring doorbell or has a smart phone! My mum wouldn’t have a clue.
however agree she shouldn’t be opening the door to cold callers. Can she see who’s at the door from a window? If so she should check and not answer cold callers. She can get a sticker for her door that says ‘no cold callers.’ I know it bothers a lot of people not answering the door but she should understand she’s vulnerable and needs to think of her own safety.

Redglitter · 26/02/2023 02:30

Agree with pp. Report it to the Police

Get a ring doorbell. Newest models have a feature on it now which plays an audio warning to people who activate the motion.

Motion Warning is a Ring device feature that notifies visitors they're being recorded. When it's triggered, this message plays through your device speaker: "Hi, you are currently being recorded."

Kinneddar · 26/02/2023 02:33

Not every 80 year old can have a ring doorbell or has a smart phone! My mum wouldn’t have a clue

She doesn't need a smartphone. OP can have the app on her phone & if her mum has a chime installed then it'll just be like a regular door bell to her.

Casilero · 26/02/2023 03:32

You need to report this to the police. I would also suggest that (and I mean this kindly) that if your mother lacks capacity you need to get power of attorney. There's loads of scam artists out there and I've seen my mother's elderly friends fall foul of these people. I also work with the elderly and I'm very regularly getting involved in a service user who's been scammed in one way or another. You need to take control of this situation.

milkyaqua · 26/02/2023 03:39

The thing is, she is worried now that he will come back. She intends to refuse to pay, but she is worried.

How dare he try to take advantage of her. She was right - no-one reputable does a job without it being asked for and agreed to. He was just trying it on.

Report his scamming, asap.

changeme4this · 26/02/2023 03:42

Cameras and ring doorbell. What about a security fly screen door that she can leave locked but have the main door open for breeze, when it gets warmer? Our Aussie one had mesh that we could see out of, but the person on the outside couldn’t see in. People didn’t like it.

MichelleScarn · 26/02/2023 05:27

Police and trading standards? Also make sure back door locked, as these arseholes do a distraction thing where they keep you talking at front door while their mate gets in through your kitchen and rifle through things. Had to call police to report this for an elderly patient recently.

Igmum · 26/02/2023 06:00

Agree Ring doorbell or camera. A few years ago I ended up caring for an elderly neighbour with dementia. He was targeted by absolutely every scammer going (once for a very large sum) until I put a Ring stick-up camera up together with about a dozen stickers. He couldn't cope with the internet so it was linked to mine. Bingo. No scammers at the door.

Jarstastic · 26/02/2023 10:36

ring camera. App on your phone.Rings inside your mums house like usual doorbell.
the cheapest wired version (about £40) does not work with your existing doorbell chime but you can buy a separate Ring chime which just plugs into a socket.

the next wired version (about £120) will work with your existing doorbell chime.

confusingly, some of the wireless versions can be wired in and work with your doorbell chime. However, the wireless versions are bulkier than the wired versions.

Sugarfree23 · 26/02/2023 11:21

Kinneddar · 26/02/2023 02:33

Not every 80 year old can have a ring doorbell or has a smart phone! My mum wouldn’t have a clue

She doesn't need a smartphone. OP can have the app on her phone & if her mum has a chime installed then it'll just be like a regular door bell to her.

This!

The mum doesn't need to know how to operate it but it will serve as a deterant if a scamer is going to be filmed

Vloader23 · 26/02/2023 11:23

This is a scam. Report to the police and tell her to call 999 if they return.

quietnightmare · 26/02/2023 11:24

Ring doorbell get one today

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 26/02/2023 11:28

Many if you haven’t read the OP. Her mother wasn’t in the house when the so called work was done.

I believe that if she had not agreed to the work, it was unsolicited, and so she is under no legal obligation to pay for it. Also, if he had entered her premises (which includes the garden) he was committing trespass. You might like to point this out to him.