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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum being targeted because of her age

55 replies

missb10 · 26/02/2023 00:51

My Mum is in her 80s and last week had someone at her house saying he had been cleaning the moss off her roof while she was out and wanted to be paid. He said that he worked for the company who put the tiles on her roof a few years ago. Well how are we supposed to know? She refused to pay him and her neighbours and I agreed that she did the right thing. The thing is, she is worried now that he will come back. She intends to refuse to pay, but she is worried. I would be concerned about this if it happened to me, but even more so because she is an old lady living on her own. Can people on here stick up for her?

OP posts:
America12 · 26/02/2023 17:50

Badgerandfox227 · 26/02/2023 01:01

It is concerning that she is letting people she does not know into her home at such a vulnerable age. Agree that she needs better security, Ring doorbell or similar is a great idea.

Did she met him in ?

FredaFox · 26/02/2023 20:11

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 26/02/2023 12:50

My dmum is in sheltered accomodation now but she just said "My son deals with this, I have no access to money, but you can have his number if you like".

Yes my mum always says something like this

We also got her a new house phone that blocks out spam calls which has really helped

FredaFox · 26/02/2023 20:12

linelgreen · 26/02/2023 13:12

We got my elderly Mother into the habit of telling any tradesmen that called that she only rented the property and so they would need to speak to her landlord about any work needing doing. This tradesmen would then go away as they knew she was not responsible for maintenance issues. This worked really well.

Ooh that's a good tip

NumberTheory · 26/02/2023 20:30

OP it’s great you’ve got a savvy mum who didn’t fall for it. Must be nice to do you’ve got those genes.

How does she feel? You say she’s worried he’ll come back, which is not at all uncommon. She might take some comfort from the fact her refusal actually makes a return less likely. Most con artists will return to someone who they managed to get money out of, but not bother with those who don’t fall for their patter. If that’s not sufficient, having a made up excuse or way of handling it that she’s practiced may help. She could claim she has to call you as she can’t use a banking app, for instance. And if there’s a way to have an alarm or something that she can activate at the door that will get someone over, that could also ease her concerns.

This might also help if she’s concerned about others. If she is okay with how she handled this but it has just made her suddenly feel vulnerable because she’s realised there is a nasty sub-section of the population who focus on more senior people like her and some of them might not be stopped by words. Then practiced excuses, an alarm, and a chain and a ring doorbell are good ideas.

She should, in any case, report to the police. As a PP said - this will not be the only house he’s tried to pull this scam and it would help them catch him or, at least, warn other potential targets.

MereDintofPandiculation · 26/02/2023 20:32

Fromwetome · 26/02/2023 01:58

@Badgerandfox227 where does it say she let him into her home????

As soon as you open your door, someone can push past you into the house.

A useful response is “my son looks after all my money for me”

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