Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sick of train driver just passing me

233 replies

gypsytrampandthief · 25/02/2023 23:25

Twice this week the driver "hasn't seen me" (despite today standing as close to the track as is reasonably safe and waving) Yesterday morning he didn't stop and I drove to the next station, passing the train, and got to the platform where he had pulled in for a group of teenage female students going to college. I was so furious I spoke to the ticket inspector and explained that this is the second time the driver has gone right by me. For complete transparency, the first time I was looking at my phone and late to wave, but ffs, why else would anyone be standing on an empty platform at 7.10 in the morning! Yesterday I was 100% looking up and arm out.

AIBU to think that a dumpy middle aged woman is not as "visible" as a teenage student?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
DuckBushCityLimit · 25/02/2023 23:35

You need a red petticoat to wave at him!

LakeTiticaca · 25/02/2023 23:36

Our local line has request stops. The conductor comes down and shouts anyone for XX stop?. On the platform you have to make it known you wish to board ( although if your stood on the platform its pretty obvious 😉)
Next time make sure you have your phone out and recording so you can prove it if the driver doesn't stop

Original poster
gypsytrampandthief · 25/02/2023 23:37

If you can wave at it to stop, and it doesn't, and you have enough time to go back to your car and drive to the next station, passing ("overtaking") the train on the way, then I was wondering why bother with a train at all?

You make a good point, but parking within walking distance of my place of work is £12 for the day, and the train is £10 return, no fuel required, so a no brainer for me

OP posts:
PriamFarrl · 25/02/2023 23:38

AgonyAgatha · 25/02/2023 23:29

Some trains do not stop at every station - you have to signal them. We have a line local to us which is like this. It also isn't electrified yet.

Yanbu OP. I still have anxiety dreams about the train not stopping to let me off or on!

I saw that happen one, well sort of. The request stop in my village, and the two others in nearby villages, had a very short platforms and for the whole train journey there is an announcement saying that if you are getting off at x, y or z then make sure you are in the first few carriages. (This was something like London to Penzance, so a big long train, not a local job)

As the train was pulling away from the first tiny stop this very posh woman came running through the carriage shouting that she couldn’t get off.

HumptyNumpty76 · 25/02/2023 23:38

I live in between 2 rural train stations and both are request stops. If you want the train to stop you have to wave at the driver! 😂

StreamingCervix · 25/02/2023 23:40

You tend to find the request stations are clustered at the more rural point of a journey, so trains will be travelling more slowly before picking up some pace after a certain point in the journey.

I know some stations close to me have a sort of bell button system that you can press to alert the driver that you request a pick up, I’m not sure if it puts a light on ahead of the platform to alert the driver.

peanutbuttertoasty · 25/02/2023 23:42

Are you one of the railway children?

OnSecondThoughts · 25/02/2023 23:44

gypsytrampandthief · 25/02/2023 23:37

If you can wave at it to stop, and it doesn't, and you have enough time to go back to your car and drive to the next station, passing ("overtaking") the train on the way, then I was wondering why bother with a train at all?

You make a good point, but parking within walking distance of my place of work is £12 for the day, and the train is £10 return, no fuel required, so a no brainer for me

Oh I see! I never thought of that. 😊

Carrotsandsuede · 25/02/2023 23:44

peanutbuttertoasty · 25/02/2023 23:42

Are you one of the railway children?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

warmeduppizza · 25/02/2023 23:46

Does your station not have a button to press to signal to the driver that someone is waiting? A lot of them do nowadays.

Suggestives · 25/02/2023 23:49

You need one of these 😁

Drivers should treat these the same as a red signal

MolkosTeenageAngst · 25/02/2023 23:49

In my hometown in rural wales (well, rural village really) the station is a request stop and you have to wave to get it to stop. No bell or anything to alert the driver in advance. I have had a train not stop for me once but it was dark so I think I was genuinely missed, must be very annoying if it’s happening in broad daylight. If it’s not fully light in the morning when you’re commuting yet then maybe try putting the torch on your phone and then holding it up to make yourself more visible, that’s what I used to do when catching the train or a bus when not in bright daylight.

GingerAle1 · 25/02/2023 23:49

I didn't know this! but DP has reminded me that we've been to one of the stations on the list. I just thought it would be the case that no stations were like that in 2023.

Mariposa26 · 25/02/2023 23:51

Why do people automatically assume you’re wrong just because they’ve not heard of something? Infuriating. Anyway YANBU.

Original poster
gypsytrampandthief · 25/02/2023 23:51

Meanwhile OP, YANBU. Invisibility seems to be a common side effect of becoming a middle aged woman

This is what I fear! I hope it's just a coincidence! And yes I hope the lighter mornings will improve things

OP posts:
BlackboardMonitorVimes · 25/02/2023 23:53

I've used these stops before and it's really obvious to the driver that you are there! If it's dark the best way to ensure you are seen is to wave your lit up mobile around as a signal to the driver.

CherrySocks · 25/02/2023 23:53

Could you wear a flag-like scarf round your neck and take it off and wave it? (Saves carrying a flagpole!)

Pantsomime · 25/02/2023 23:56

Try 2 things, take a thin flag or scarf to wave about and whilst doing that video him on your phone. If he doesnt stop send it to the rail company

AdventFridgeOfShame · 25/02/2023 23:56

9Feb · 25/02/2023 23:30

That list is incomplete. If you want to get a train from Avoncliffe, you have to wave.

MmeDefrag · 25/02/2023 23:57

I came across request stops when I went to Wales for a break a few years ago. That and Golden Cenarth cheese… Ah, happy days.

Seconding the suggestion of a red petticoat. Sometimes you just have to be outrageous!

ArcaneWireless · 25/02/2023 23:57

Light hi-vis vest with a torch in the pocket. (It works with buses and also with the highland request stops).

R0ckets · 25/02/2023 23:58

gypsytrampandthief · 25/02/2023 23:51

Meanwhile OP, YANBU. Invisibility seems to be a common side effect of becoming a middle aged woman

This is what I fear! I hope it's just a coincidence! And yes I hope the lighter mornings will improve things

It probably is just a coincidence as it was a group of students at the next stop verses just you by yourself at your stop.

As I said above is it not possible to always use this station, the one with the students at it as the higher number of people will mean the driver is less likely to miss you and not stop.

GingerAle1 · 26/02/2023 00:00

What about a high vis item? I have a high vis strap in my bag. There was a local power cut once when I walked back from the station and I was a bit freaked out so got that.

TessoftheDubonnet · 26/02/2023 00:04

ArcaneWireless · 25/02/2023 23:57

Light hi-vis vest with a torch in the pocket. (It works with buses and also with the highland request stops).

Oh yes, I was about to suggest this!!😎

Great minds et cetera...

Allthismidnighttalking · 26/02/2023 00:06

My mind is completely blown that this is a thing! and I live rurally!!