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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sick of train driver just passing me

233 replies

gypsytrampandthief · 25/02/2023 23:25

Twice this week the driver "hasn't seen me" (despite today standing as close to the track as is reasonably safe and waving) Yesterday morning he didn't stop and I drove to the next station, passing the train, and got to the platform where he had pulled in for a group of teenage female students going to college. I was so furious I spoke to the ticket inspector and explained that this is the second time the driver has gone right by me. For complete transparency, the first time I was looking at my phone and late to wave, but ffs, why else would anyone be standing on an empty platform at 7.10 in the morning! Yesterday I was 100% looking up and arm out.

AIBU to think that a dumpy middle aged woman is not as "visible" as a teenage student?

OP posts:
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5
SerendipityJane · 26/02/2023 11:05

The bold confidence of the replies makes me laugh, though: “That’s not how trains work.” Except it clearly is in the OP. It’s the equivalent of replying “You are wrong about your own life.”

It's not laughable. when you scale that up to the important things in life. Then you start to get very very scared.

GruffaIo · 26/02/2023 11:06

Wear hi-vis or have a torch (don't shine at the driver, but light the platform in front of you to make you more obvious)? I do this at bus stops c.6:00am as I don't catch it every day, no-one else ever gets on there that I've seen, and I don't expect the driver to necessarily spot me in the dark.

Original poster
gypsytrampandthief · 26/02/2023 11:10

@AnotherDelphinium just when I thought things couldn't sink any lower I find out I've probs my been mistaken for a train spotter 😳🤣

OP posts:
BlueSeaWave · 26/02/2023 11:27

KievsOutTheOven · 25/02/2023 23:34

I’ve literally never seen this. I rarely even see a conductor mind you …

Surely it’s pretty rare? And how slow is the train going that OP can get off the platform, into a car, drive to another station, park their car, get out car, and get back on to platform before the train even gets there? That wouldn’t be possible on any trains I’ve been on (not saying it’s not true, it’s just really surprising to me and not at all my experience)

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Best example of the previous quoted saying everyone on MN will say it doesn’t happen as they’ve not seen it in their small world bubble 😂

KievsOutTheOven · 26/02/2023 11:38

BlueSeaWave · 26/02/2023 11:27

Best example of the previous quoted saying everyone on MN will say it doesn’t happen as they’ve not seen it in their small world bubble 😂

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Except I didn’t say it doesn’t happen, i literally said it’s surprising and not at all my experience. I said I’ve never seen it and I was curious as to how it works, because it wouldn’t work on any train system I’ve ever used.

Throwncrumbs · 26/02/2023 11:45

You have an announcement regarding train stops, they slow down way before they stop so putting your hand out isn’t going to stop a train, it would be going way too fast and go past the station beforehand. My local station says ‘the next train doesn’t stop at this station’ if it’s not stopping!

Throwncrumbs · 26/02/2023 11:47

I find this very dangerous if you can wave down a train, how odd

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 26/02/2023 11:50

Throwncrumbs · 26/02/2023 11:47

I find this very dangerous if you can wave down a train, how odd

No more dangerous than waving down a bus or a tram, surely?

Our local train line has loads of request stops and nobody has ever been injured or had an accident because of them? Why would they?

ArcaneWireless · 26/02/2023 11:53

geuffalo

it bloody works a treat in my experience. 😊

liveforsummer · 26/02/2023 11:53

Throwncrumbs · 26/02/2023 11:47

I find this very dangerous if you can wave down a train, how odd

Listen up railway stations - please change your safe practice of decades as one mumsnet user does not approve 😆

ArcaneWireless · 26/02/2023 11:54

gruffalo 🫣

Guis · 26/02/2023 12:08

Don't wave a light about. Apparently don't wave arms about either. Such stations are usually very small and so they should be able to see someone on the platform. Is the platform curved though rather than straight ? Also if the guard ( if there is one - gives two buzzes - it is a signal to the driver to keep on driving) apparently. Might be worth an email or phone call to the line to ask what to do and to explain what is happening.

HarlanPepper · 26/02/2023 12:08

Throwncrumbs · 26/02/2023 11:45

You have an announcement regarding train stops, they slow down way before they stop so putting your hand out isn’t going to stop a train, it would be going way too fast and go past the station beforehand. My local station says ‘the next train doesn’t stop at this station’ if it’s not stopping!

Good for you! Don't ever let your ignorance about a subject stop you from forming an immediate opinion.

PriamFarrl · 26/02/2023 12:24

Throwncrumbs · 26/02/2023 11:45

You have an announcement regarding train stops, they slow down way before they stop so putting your hand out isn’t going to stop a train, it would be going way too fast and go past the station beforehand. My local station says ‘the next train doesn’t stop at this station’ if it’s not stopping!

It is literally how request stops work. You put your hand up like stopping a bus or hailing a cab.

Babyleafy · 26/02/2023 12:49

Throwncrumbs · 26/02/2023 11:47

I find this very dangerous if you can wave down a train, how odd

They're not like iIntercity trains 😆

Dixiechickonhols · 26/02/2023 12:52

Local trains go slowly more like a bus. Nothing like an inter city train.

Babyleafy · 26/02/2023 12:59

It would need to be very powerful torch to be more visible than a full sized human, in daylight....

Allgoodusernamesweretaken · 26/02/2023 13:46

Some of the replies!

I once had someone doubt a story I wrote as I used the word 'prom', which means I must have invented it as there are no proms in the UK (the fact I used to live in the US has not occured).

I would put in a complaint OP! You know the time, and the train. COntact them via twitter and say what has happened.

Allgoodusernamesweretaken · 26/02/2023 13:47

Also, put a massive bonfire on the tracks and do smoke signals the driver can see from afar!

Dagnabit · 26/02/2023 15:08

Um, not sure what lots are on about - there are plenty of request stops in the UK! YANBU, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was picking and choosing. I would make a formal complaint but focus on the fact that you are visible rather than the fact that he chooses to stop to stop for younger people.

LilylilyDaisy · 26/02/2023 15:13

Not RTWT but could you wear or carry something hi-vis when waiting? Like a hi-vis vest? Or you could wave a hi-vis vest Smile

bigbluebus · 26/02/2023 15:31

@AnotherDelphinium On our line, only certain trains are designated as trains which will stop on request. Others will go straight through no matter how much you wave. The designated trains always slow down so that they have enough time to stop if there is someone waiting to get on. If there isn't anyone there then they just speed up again. It's not a case of having to slam the brakes on at the last minute.

DdraigGoch · 26/02/2023 21:50

LikeTearsInRain · 26/02/2023 10:05

Not been to any such places. Any names of example stations? I’m imagining ones that look a bit like Hogsmeade station in Harry Potter

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Plenty are smaller than that, at many of them the guard has to let passengers out of only one door. Some marvellous names, some of the stations are tourist landmarks in their own right. A few serve specific employers, one was built for the private use of the Duke of Sutherland.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_Bridge_railway_station
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugar_Loaf_railway_station
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_Keyne_Wishing_Well_Halt_railway_station
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llanfairpwll_railway_station
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunrobin_Castle_railway_station
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lympstone_Commando_railway_station
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawarden_Bridge_railway_station
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lakes_railway_station
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilton_Marsh_railway_station

DdraigGoch · 26/02/2023 21:52

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 26/02/2023 10:19

There was a request stop on my old route, but the stations were so frequent that it seemed like as soon as the train was up to speed it was time to slow down for the next station.

12 stations, I think, including where I got on and got off and not including the request stop. It's about 20 miles by road. If the roads are clear it's quicker to drive, but a. I don't drive, and b. during rush hour the train is quicker, if not fun for the claustrophobic.

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Line speeds can be very slow too. One such line local to me has a 30mph restriction as it twists its way through the national park.

DdraigGoch · 26/02/2023 22:01

PriamFarrl · 26/02/2023 10:54

Well in this imaginary scenario this is what would happen. I’m not sure what point you are making.

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Who says that it was imaginary? It's not related to the OP's situation though, just general commentary on request stops (like half of the thread has descended into). The driver being told that there's no one alighting shouldn't stop him stopping for someone waiting to join.

That's reminded me that there was a lad near here who used to hide in the toilet to avoid paying, and to ensure that the train would stop to let him off he would get his grandfather to stand on the platform and hold his arm out. One guard got wise to this, made an announcement that any passengers wishing to alight should make themselves known, before telling the driver not to stop for an old bloke in a flat cap (obviously they would have stopped for anyone else). So the train flies through, laddie comes storming out of the bog demanding to know why the train didn't stop and the guard replied "Well no one requested it - and where's your ticket?"