We decided this weekend we’d take the kids (6&9) to a water park in a tourist area. It has a limitation on spaces and sessions lasts for 3 hours. So we thought “Oh good it won’t be too busy”. Foolish, naive idiots that we are.
If you’ve ever seen that Diary of a Wimpy Kid scene where they go to a busy pool - think that x 1000. And with beer bellies. And plasters floating around.
It was SO busy, we could barely move. There was one of those lazy rivers that push you along. During which, we had several children smash into to us, vice versa, I also got several smacks in the face by pairs of feet in rubber rings and, at one point, it was so busy a strange man’s dirty toe nail got momentarily stuck in my arsehole.
The wave machine would have been great if it didn’t involve far too many people bobbing around in far too close proximity, like turds in a blocked toilet.
A wait for rides were 30 minutes. We went on a few, after which DS (6) would laugh As I unlocked wedgies from my bum. We then saw an unusual amount of women in thong bikinis at which one point DS said in his foghorn voice “that lady needs to pick her costume out her bum like you did mummy” 🙄
Families thinking their splash fights were just SO much fun the 75 people bobbing around them didn’t mind getting splashed in the face.
DH and I looked at each other and said “WTF are we doing here” and left an hour early, lying to the kids that the 3 hours were up 😂
Now skin is burning from too much chlorine, we have various bumps and bruises between us and we are £100 down. £100, all to be sodomised by a filthy toe.
And yea I know it was always gonna be busy on a weekend but I didn’t expect total human carnage.
Can you share with me your Family Day out from Hell stories to make me feel better please.