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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you can beat this Seventh Circle of Hell day out (lighthearted)

91 replies

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 25/02/2023 21:27

We decided this weekend we’d take the kids (6&9) to a water park in a tourist area. It has a limitation on spaces and sessions lasts for 3 hours. So we thought “Oh good it won’t be too busy”. Foolish, naive idiots that we are.

If you’ve ever seen that Diary of a Wimpy Kid scene where they go to a busy pool - think that x 1000. And with beer bellies. And plasters floating around.

It was SO busy, we could barely move. There was one of those lazy rivers that push you along. During which, we had several children smash into to us, vice versa, I also got several smacks in the face by pairs of feet in rubber rings and, at one point, it was so busy a strange man’s dirty toe nail got momentarily stuck in my arsehole.

The wave machine would have been great if it didn’t involve far too many people bobbing around in far too close proximity, like turds in a blocked toilet.

A wait for rides were 30 minutes. We went on a few, after which DS (6) would laugh As I unlocked wedgies from my bum. We then saw an unusual amount of women in thong bikinis at which one point DS said in his foghorn voice “that lady needs to pick her costume out her bum like you did mummy” 🙄

Families thinking their splash fights were just SO much fun the 75 people bobbing around them didn’t mind getting splashed in the face.

DH and I looked at each other and said “WTF are we doing here” and left an hour early, lying to the kids that the 3 hours were up 😂

Now skin is burning from too much chlorine, we have various bumps and bruises between us and we are £100 down. £100, all to be sodomised by a filthy toe.

And yea I know it was always gonna be busy on a weekend but I didn’t expect total human carnage.

Can you share with me your Family Day out from Hell stories to make me feel better please.

OP posts:
HolyZarquonsSingingSeals · 26/02/2023 10:48

Suzi888 · 26/02/2023 10:16

A strange man’s dirty toe nail got momentarily stuck in my arsehole.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 OMG can’t breathe!

That's hilarious.......but how did you know it was dirty?

Boysnme · 26/02/2023 10:50

Oh jeeze OP, I was literally just looking for waterpark type pools to take the kids to one weekend and we have family near Blackpool so was near the top of our list.

thank you for doing this post, we may replan!!

MermaidEyes · 26/02/2023 10:51

BruceAndNosh · 26/02/2023 00:07

I reckon there is some bloke on Reddit complaining about where his poor innocent toe ended up

He's more likely posting about the fun he had today on the Sex board 😆
You definitely win OP. I've done a water park exactly once. I don't even do communal holiday pools, the fear is that real 😅

MrsMurphyIWish · 26/02/2023 10:55

Last half term we took the DCs to Waterworld in Stoke. I’m still traumatised but at least I didn’t have a toe up my arse. The rapids were so fast and you only have a certain amount of time in and then the lifeguard blows the whistle and a gate opens to leave - the jets don’t stop though so it’s a case of 50 people trying to cling onto a wall and drag themselves out. DS thought it was hilarious.

I also remember the suncentre in Rhyl in the 80s 😆

sashagabadon · 26/02/2023 10:55

You should start a thread on the Sex topic about your arse / toe experience and get all the men on there excited 😂

WimbyAce · 26/02/2023 11:09

Urgh put me off waterparks for life!

Doyouthinktheyknow · 26/02/2023 11:25

🤣 So glad my dc are now grown up, that’s traumatising just to read!

Local water parks never had much to do but they were never that busy either, had no idea how lucky we were until now🤣

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 26/02/2023 12:44

Sounds hideous, but why the everlasting fuck would you choose to wear a thong to a water park. Cheesewire comes to mind.

MrWhippersnapper · 26/02/2023 12:47

I was going to say this has to be Sandcastle

RudsyFarmer · 26/02/2023 12:54

🤣🤣🤣

I had just a mild version of this at Centre Parcs one year and have NEVER BEEN BACK.

FionnulaTheCooler · 26/02/2023 16:49

Boysnme · 26/02/2023 10:50

Oh jeeze OP, I was literally just looking for waterpark type pools to take the kids to one weekend and we have family near Blackpool so was near the top of our list.

thank you for doing this post, we may replan!!

If you want to do the Sandcastle, book the very first slot in the morning. It doesn't get crazy busy until later, last time we went first thing and got a good few turns on the flumes before the queues were long enough to say nah, sod waiting in that.

Vitriolinsanity · 26/02/2023 16:59

I raise you Pontins Camber OP. The pool is empty, but that's because it's not been changed since 1974 and is really just blue Stella wee Envy

isthismylifenow · 26/02/2023 17:15

😂

When I was reading your post my first thought was, only 3 hours ... (For us it's usually a whole day affair - not in UK).

But I have to agree with you....two hours of someone else's toes invading you internally and floating around in other persons pee is plenty.

I am not sure many can top your day though OP...😀

JarByTheDoor · 26/02/2023 17:37

HolyZarquonsSingingSeals · 26/02/2023 10:48

That's hilarious.......but how did you know it was dirty?

Show quote history

It was probably perfectly clean until somebody bumholed it.

Ratonastick · 26/02/2023 17:39

There’s an entire thread about this somewhere in Classics. Half of Mumsnet have suffered in Aquatic Hell. I consider myself extremely lucky to have only exposed a single tit during my one and only visit. Though wrangling it back into a wet cossie in front of 100s of gawping teenage boys is an experience that is burned into my brain.

Saucery · 26/02/2023 17:42

Manky toenails have been inserting themselves into unsuspecting arseholes at the Sandcastle for at least 20 years, OP. What were you THINKING? 🤦‍♀️

IsItBedtimeYetNope · 26/02/2023 17:44

MrsMurphyIWish · 26/02/2023 10:55

Last half term we took the DCs to Waterworld in Stoke. I’m still traumatised but at least I didn’t have a toe up my arse. The rapids were so fast and you only have a certain amount of time in and then the lifeguard blows the whistle and a gate opens to leave - the jets don’t stop though so it’s a case of 50 people trying to cling onto a wall and drag themselves out. DS thought it was hilarious.

I also remember the suncentre in Rhyl in the 80s 😆

You should have gone to Dimensions in Fenton. It's 1/3 of the price and usually much less busy.

IsItBedtimeYetNope · 26/02/2023 17:54

My seventh circle of hell trip is when we went on a day trip to find some ducks to feed with the PILs. We had one DC and I was 8 months pregnant with the 2nd at the time. PILs knew best, and insisted that a nearby Loch would be absolutely riven with ducks, despite the fact they lived 8 hours away and had never been here before. We even had FIL mansplaining how "it stands to reason" that the ducks would be in spots X, Y and Z.

So we went out. It was a sunny day and the lake was rammed with cars as it turned out to be a popular spot for angling. And we drove about 30 miles around this bloody Loch, mostly at 10mph, and I shit you not there was not a single duck. One of the places we parked to look for ducks was so full of anglers we had to step over a load of fishing rods to get back to the car and one bloke had put up an angling tent on the public footpath, obliterating it completely. I think the ducks had fled I've never seen so many anglers in my life.

Eventually we found some pigeons, at which point DC1 threw the duck food and the wind blew it up into MIL's eyes. She started screaming blue murder and glaring at me like it was somehow my fault.

When we got home the competitive undereating started, where the PILs ordered £50 of takeaway (on my card) then when it came they had a couple of spoons each and complained that there was too much food, they couldn't eat it, and binned it.

It was a total, complete and utter waste of a day, of petrol, of money, and of duck food.

ThinWomansBrain · 26/02/2023 17:55

That's hilarious.......but how did you know it was dirty?

it was behind you... how do you know it was his toe?

Shannith · 26/02/2023 17:57

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 25/02/2023 22:48

you win hands down op 😂

Or toes up

MermaidEyes · 26/02/2023 18:09

Ratonastick · 26/02/2023 17:39

There’s an entire thread about this somewhere in Classics. Half of Mumsnet have suffered in Aquatic Hell. I consider myself extremely lucky to have only exposed a single tit during my one and only visit. Though wrangling it back into a wet cossie in front of 100s of gawping teenage boys is an experience that is burned into my brain.

It's probably burned into half of their brains as well 😆

Glitterkitten24 · 26/02/2023 18:14

Yep- I’d never return to sandcastle! £100 for a swim, the water was so cold that we had to get out early and me and DS ended up with verrucas! 🤮

Craftyrose · 26/02/2023 18:20

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 26/02/2023 00:00

It wasn’t Splashland it was Sandcastle in Blackpool. Definitely not outing because 100,000,000 people were there at various points today. Grim.

The funny thing is we had time to kill beforehand so went to the arcades. £40 later and the kids could only buy a squishy toy each with their winning tickets. And we said “Wow that was hell but hey at least we will have fun at Sandcastle”.

Is it possible to judge yourself for your own stupidity?

Oh my goodness, this thread has had me crying with laughter. I went to the sandcastle in Blackpool as a kid. We left early because my younger brother did a poo in the pool!

HamFrancisco · 26/02/2023 18:28

Keep a wary eye, OP, in case you develop Arse Veruccas. 🤮