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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it okay to leave a child in the car to pop into a shop?

167 replies

loveisanumber · 25/02/2023 19:47

Local mum.

She has a baby/toddler who's recently celebrated her 1st birthday.

I've noticed on a few occasions now that she leaves the baby in the car whilst she pops into the chemist for prescriptions, pops into the little Tesco for a few bits etc.

Most of the time she's roughly a few minutes but the reason I'm starting this thread is because today she was talking to me whilst waiting for a prescription. We were standing there for a good 15 minutes before her name was called because mine was called just before

When I was walking by me said bye again, she opened the car door to get in and was saying 'It's okay darling, I'm back' and I heard the baby crying

AIBU to think it's wrong?

OP posts:
Norwen · 25/02/2023 21:35

The reality is that a child strapped into their car seat is far more likely to come to harm when that vehicle is being driven than when it is locked and stationary whilst a parent pops into the shop or petrol station. The exception would be leaving the child long enough for the temperature to shift significantly (too hot or too cold) in the vehicle. Leaving a child to cry - some of us may feel very uncomfortable with that but it is how countless parents leave their babies and young children to cry themselves to sleep every day. This is categorically not a safeguarding issue and there is no action needed.

Snugglemonkey · 25/02/2023 21:53

ParentPerson · 25/02/2023 20:41

Omg I know this sounds insane but I’ve never even considered what to do when getting petrol - I’ve only just passed my test and got a car so haven’t had to fill up yet. I’ve got two under 20 months and would never leave them alone in the car anywhere.
What do I do when I need to pay for fuel? Get the buggy out and put them both in, pay, then back again?
Genuinely, how do people do it?

I mostly use pay at pump, though I live rurally and it is not always possible. So there are times my two are in the car while I pay.

PinkButtercups · 25/02/2023 21:57

red78hot · 25/02/2023 20:36

I leave my 7m old in the car if I can park off the road right outside the shop, aslong as I can see the car, I only ever use my local shop for sending parcels and the till is by the door so my car is always in view, i couldnt wait 15 min in a chemist and leave him.

So your eyes are on the car 24/7 is it? No, they aren't. Just take your child in with you. It's literally a few extra minutes onto your time!!

Snugglemonkey · 25/02/2023 21:57

Chooksnroses · 25/02/2023 21:03

Apart from any other danger, there's fire. My ex husband , a mechanic, parked his well maintained car, had walked just about 100 metres when he was alerted by a shout. His car was in flames, yet there had been no sign of anything going wrong.

I think this definitely impacts the risk element. We do not lock doors. I have even left the car keys lying on the passenger seat by accident a couple of times. I used to live in a city and certainly would not be getting up with a car still there if I had done that!

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 25/02/2023 21:58

The rule is - if it’s the same as a petrol station (small shop, can see the car from the shop) and it’s as quick as a petrol station would be it’s fine.

15 minutes is not ok.

GHxx · 25/02/2023 21:59

definitely not fine for that length of time! I leave my toddler in the car at the petrol station and there is another tiny supermarket (basically a corner shop) that has a full glass front and carpark where you basically park almost touching the front door. I leave him in the car to go in there as I’m just running up one aisle for something and can see the car at all times, have always left him in the car even when he was a baby to go there (maybe not a tiny baby) but I see it as the same as the petrol station. I wouldn’t be going and doing my shopping or standing chatting for ages though!

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 25/02/2023 21:59

Oh hooray the “don’t leave your children in the car in a petrol station in case of a random fire” crew are out in force.

Far, far more dangerous to lug children across a busy forecourt than to leave them in the car where you can see them for a couple of minites

red78hot · 25/02/2023 22:00

PinkButtercups · 25/02/2023 21:57

So your eyes are on the car 24/7 is it? No, they aren't. Just take your child in with you. It's literally a few extra minutes onto your time!!

Show quote history

The car right outside the shop , as in parking outside the shop , off the road! Wind your neck in super mum!

PinkButtercups · 25/02/2023 22:02

@red78hot So what if it's off the road. You're still not there.. nothing about being a super mum far from it. Responsible yes, super mum no.

BertHandsome · 25/02/2023 22:02

My child is my most precious thing, I can’t even fathom leaving them alone in public at year old old. It’s fucking bonkers.

Littlepaws18 · 25/02/2023 22:04

I can't believe people do this! How incredibly dangerous!

Littlepaws18 · 25/02/2023 22:05

SpiritRanger · 25/02/2023 20:57

I'm appalled how many people think it's OK to leave a child in the car alone at a very young age. Would you also leave your child unattended at home and pop out ? Does something bad needs to happen to you before you realise the risks ?

Absolutely this

Littlepaws18 · 25/02/2023 22:06

It's against the law for a reason the risk and potential consequences massively outweigh the convenience.

Runnerduck34 · 25/02/2023 22:07

Maybe prescription took longer than expected, 15 mins is a bit too long but I used to do it for a few mins when DC were small but only in village shops where I could see the car, or if baby was asleep / it was raining at a quick school / nursery drop off/ pick up,oldest DC is 23 ,was very common accepted behaviour then, youngest is 15, very noticeable after Madeleine McCann attitudes changed.
When my brother was born early 80s it was even common to leave a baby/ toddler in their pushchair/ pram outside a shop. You'd probably be arrested for that now! I think parenting is now full of judgement, overthinking and probably also over protecting. I heard on the radio the other day that the word parent used to be solely a noun, a name to describe a relationship like sister. But more recently its become a verb , an action , something that you proactively do and are judged on.

red78hot · 25/02/2023 22:11

PinkButtercups · 25/02/2023 22:02

@red78hot So what if it's off the road. You're still not there.. nothing about being a super mum far from it. Responsible yes, super mum no.

He's practically in the shop.
Oh but wait, you're one of those that will continue "oh no that's not good enough, you're irresponsible, must call social services" Jesus wept.

Is it okay to leave a child in the car to pop into a shop?
Rellywobble · 25/02/2023 22:13

CorsicaDreaming · 25/02/2023 20:45

It's also a real issue in the summer. Cars heat up very quickly and babies have died of over heating when left in cars.

Yes in Australia where a toddler has been accidentally left in a car for 6hrs ! Get a grip FFS 🤦‍♀️

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 25/02/2023 22:15

Littlepaws18 · 25/02/2023 22:06

It's against the law for a reason the risk and potential consequences massively outweigh the convenience.

I’m not actually sure there is a hard and fast law about leaving kids in cars

Rellywobble · 25/02/2023 22:16

Runnerduck34 · 25/02/2023 22:07

Maybe prescription took longer than expected, 15 mins is a bit too long but I used to do it for a few mins when DC were small but only in village shops where I could see the car, or if baby was asleep / it was raining at a quick school / nursery drop off/ pick up,oldest DC is 23 ,was very common accepted behaviour then, youngest is 15, very noticeable after Madeleine McCann attitudes changed.
When my brother was born early 80s it was even common to leave a baby/ toddler in their pushchair/ pram outside a shop. You'd probably be arrested for that now! I think parenting is now full of judgement, overthinking and probably also over protecting. I heard on the radio the other day that the word parent used to be solely a noun, a name to describe a relationship like sister. But more recently its become a verb , an action , something that you proactively do and are judged on.

Brilliant post !

PinkButtercups · 25/02/2023 22:18

@red78hot
Thanks for the diagram.. 😅. No it's not good enough just as others have posted. It's dangerous and irresponsible.
We don't agree and won't agree.
He's not in the shop at all. He's in the car, alone. You're in the shop, alone..

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 25/02/2023 22:19

I always take mine in. I knew an incident of a baby left in a car whilst parents took shopping in house. Car left unlocked and keys in with engine running as baby asleep. Car was stolen off driveway with baby inside it. Luckily car was abandoned a couple hours later and baby found again safe.

winningeasy · 25/02/2023 22:19

Nipping in for petrol is fine

red78hot · 25/02/2023 22:19

PinkButtercups · 25/02/2023 22:18

@red78hot
Thanks for the diagram.. 😅. No it's not good enough just as others have posted. It's dangerous and irresponsible.
We don't agree and won't agree.
He's not in the shop at all. He's in the car, alone. You're in the shop, alone..

2 fucking meters away 🙄

PinkButtercups · 25/02/2023 22:24

@red78hot still not there.

red78hot · 25/02/2023 22:25

PinkButtercups · 25/02/2023 22:24

@red78hot still not there.

Suppose I'm a bad mum for going for a piss while he's in the living room asleep fucks sake , 🥱

MajorCarolDanvers · 25/02/2023 22:27

Paying for petrol when you can see the car.

Going into a shop when you can't. Not ok.