Is it okay to leave a child in the car to pop into a shop?

[loveisanumber]

Local mum.

She has a baby/toddler who's recently celebrated her 1st birthday.

I've noticed on a few occasions now that she leaves the baby in the car whilst she pops into the chemist for prescriptions, pops into the little Tesco for a few bits etc.

Most of the time she's roughly a few minutes but the reason I'm starting this thread is because today she was talking to me whilst waiting for a prescription. We were standing there for a good 15 minutes before her name was called because mine was called just before

When I was walking by me said bye again, she opened the car door to get in and was saying 'It's okay darling, I'm back' and I heard the baby crying

AIBU to think it's wrong?

This has come up before on mumsnet. I remain astounded that there are people who won't leave there children in the car whilst they get petrol.
At that I age I would probably only have left them if asleep and just to nip into the shop very quickly. Now my kids are primary school aged I will leave them awake but not for a full shop or anything. The risks are negligible

How is that remotely the same thing?

Opportunist thrives aren't exactly known for not being fussed about the difference between a wad of easily usuable cash and the lifelong commitment of stealing a child

It took a couple of minutes to take my baby car seat out when my daughter was tiny and even less to take her out of the car when she was a bit older and in a bigger car seat. Why would not not take the most precious person in your life into a shop, petrol station etc with you?

I leave my 7m old in the car if I can park off the road right outside the shop, aslong as I can see the car, I only ever use my local shop for sending parcels and the till is by the door so my car is always in view, i couldnt wait 15 min in a chemist and leave him.

I have left my sleeping baby in the car twice, both times I was gone approximately 2 minutes and was still stressing about it. I parked the car at the end of the path up to the school gate so could see the car from the yard. I also waited until the last second to take my older daughter in so I knew the door would be open and we wouldn't have to wait. I only did it because it was snowing/really icy and I didn't want to carry the baby in that.
It still plays on my mind now occasionally so I don't know how this woman does it on a regular basis. And if I came back to a crying baby I'd be devastated!
Should we judge, probably not. Do I? Yes.

You clearly haven't had a car seat resister! Takes fucking ages to get DS back into his car seat now he's older.

Also was a nightmare trying to get the infant carrier out but it wasn't isofix so maybe that changed things.

Saying that if I ever have to take him because there is no other choice I do pay at pump.

15 minutes out of sight is not ok, going into a shop/petrol station/chemist where you have eyes on your child all the time is fine. If I had to wait 15 minutes I'd wait in the car and go back.

YANBU. I would report to SS for this. It’s neglect and shows a lack of appropriate safeguarding.

Omg I know this sounds insane but I’ve never even considered what to do when getting petrol - I’ve only just passed my test and got a car so haven’t had to fill up yet. I’ve got two under 20 months and would never leave them alone in the car anywhere.
What do I do when I need to pay for fuel? Get the buggy out and put them both in, pay, then back again?
Genuinely, how do people do it?

Most petrol stations have pay at pump these days. Just get out, fill up and pay. I do this at our local Tesco. Don't know if all Tesco's have it though obviously

Name and address? 🤣

Of course it’s not ok. Another car could hit your vehicle, could get broken into, stolen (vehicle not the child… though you never know).

Hard to believe the human race has survived this long.

Before Christmas I was driving into the car park of a retail park when a car reversed out of a bay at speed and smashed into the car opposite. I parked up and went to see if the driver was OK. There was no driver just two young boys who had somehow released the handbrake- after that I would definitely say no.

I went and found the mum who the boys told me was in Smyths while another woman stood at the car and kept an eye on the boys. I dont think that mum will ever leave her children in the car alone again and after witnessing it neither would I.

Do you live somewhere that doesn't have pay at pump?

@Suzi888 how ridiculous.

You can be in an accident if you are present in the car with your child. The odds are not upped if they are alone in fact the odds are lowered if you are parked up.

Don't be silly bringing things that could happen if you were present or not.

I fret if I leave the dog in the car for 2 mins if I pop into a local shop for eg,milk on the way home from a walk,I always park where I can see the car but no way would I be able to go in a shop for 15mins not being able to see her.How can someone so this with a baby?!?!

It's also a real issue in the summer. Cars heat up very quickly and babies have died of over heating when left in cars.

@hmrcwoes please provide your stats.

Actually don’t bother, I don’t care. Do you know how the internet works.

If something does happen, good luck telling the police and social services your bullshit theory. 🙄

*Steps away from thread, because I can’t be bothered to argue with stupid.

I’m ok with leaving wee ones while I pay for petrol or nip into a corner shop for milk. 15min is a different scenario though. Of course the disasters that some of you are mentioning could occur but the risk is extremely low. However lugging babies in car seats or wrangling toddlers is high risk of being a total pain in the arse, so I make a call that I’m happy with.

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair I’ve never gotten out of the car in a petrol station round us before when DH has stopped to fill up the car. Actually, I’ve never filled up a car before. Really embarrassing actually because I’m not young by any means so you’d think I’d have done it by now.
I may have to do a little reconnaissance of local petrol stations in the hunt for a pay at pump one!

I don't think most children are stolen for lifelong commitment. Not sure how common it is for children to be kidnapped from unattended cars if I'm honest, but I don't imagine it's to care for the child at all.

Can you explain to me how exactly it would make a difference who was in a car at the time of an accident?

If you were in the car what difference would it actually make? What would you be able to do if you were parked up and someone went into you. Obviously not talking about if your car is out of sight as obviously that would mean you weren't aware but if you can see your car from the petrol station what the fuck difference would it make if you were in the car or not

Honest answers please.

I’ll pay for diesel or “nip” somewhere if I can still see the car, literally 2minute job. Going into a mini tescos where you can’t see the car, absolutely not ok. 15mins chatting in a chemist is batshit.
and I’m in no way “precious” by MN standards.

I'd leave baby in the car to nip in for a pint of milk or loaf of bread. Perhaps not for 15 minutes for a prescription, but that's just me. I wouldn't judge, it's just a different decision to the one I'd make for my child.

Where i live...an area of no crime (the occasional plant pot stolen) id think nothing of leaving my child in a car for 30 mins

This topic comes up a lot. I think someone on a previous thread said they never filled up with petrol and would always ask their partner to do it.
I wouldn’t leave a 12 month old for that long but equally I’m not getting a toddler and newborn out of the car to pay for fuel. Everyone makes their own judgement.