Very rude school admin, not sure what to do

[Notbeinfunnehbut]

The school admin at my child’s school is known for being quite abrupt and at times quite rude,
In fairness 80% of time she’s ok it’s just that 20 % where she’s out of line

I rang up a day late for sorting something, I did say sorry I didn’t see the message till this morning
I had a sick child off the previous day which she’s well aware of and genuinely didn’t see it
i got, no I did send it I sent it yesterday and I sent one Tuesday , I responded I didn’t suggest you didn’t send on those days I’m simply saying I didn’t see it until today, if no slots are left it is what it is,
i got told she really could have done with me ringing the day before as now it’s caused a lot of messing about for her and all the teachers ( my child only has one teacher? 😐)
and maybe I should have a think about what im
doing and actually bothering reading my messages and making sure not to waste other peoples time because I haven’t made a point of checking my messages? I said at that point very restrained (was furious 😡)
your perfectly aware I had a sick child yesterday and I apologised for the inconvenience
Continued to rant at me in a very patronising and rude manner , I did say thankyou , which I’m annoyed at wish I’d stood up for myself more
I’m not great at it , there’s parents she wouldn’t have dared do that too,
However it’s still bothering me, I can’t really complain phone or email, either as I have to get passed her first to speak to school (which she’s obviously probably aware of) so I’m just stuck with all this rage with nowhere to go,
it’s obviously indefensible behaviour I’m so angry that I apologised and the inconvenience was minor it was typing my name into an excel spreadsheet into an already available slot ,the unprofessional behaviour took up more time that the action itself , but I apologised and said thankyou I’m so annoyed at myself aswell.

Im not sure how to proceed with this, it’s not ok to speak to people like that.

Your child was sick the day of the reminder. Sorry to hear that. What's your excuse for not reading your messages the rest of the time? You sound like hard work, so perhaps not surprising that she's annoyed. Does seem that you have a lot of history with this school.

You need to read the schools complaints procedure and follow it. That way your concerns are much more official and you will get a response from the board.
They will have an objective view and can answer your concerns and suggest changes ( if required).

It sounded like you had at least a week to respond and so having a sick child for one day is irrelevant. And if anything it would have given you more chance to check your phone than if you were at work that day.

I don’t like rude people and there is no need for it.

I have noticed that many receptionists are pretty blunt and can come across as rude.

As you were at fault then I personally would drop it and forget about it but if you want to make a complaint then do.

I’m not sure there is much you can do. It’s annoying also had similar recently. I mentioned a disorganisation on their part. As it affected a school club with short notice for parents. I know they are busy but it was obvious to me she was overloaded and not dealing with it. As I seemed to get her job life story….

Many school admins have an edge and they often need it as they are front line to certain types of parents. Sounds like you are one of those OP!

I honestly think that some people seem to find fault and complain to the school almost like a hobby. There's a couple of mums I overhear at swimming each week and all they do is moan about totally pointless things the school has done wrong, how they caught them out and got one over on the head teacher or secretary.

Agree to this. YABU op.

I've worked in admin roles before and while I can appreciate we all have our own complex lives going on, when you're trying to manage lots of people at once who are then conveying information only partially or late, it's an absolute nightmare. If she gives allowances for every time someone is has a sick kid etc, she'd never get anything sorted! So boundaries and deadlines are absolutely necessary.

In the end, it's on you to respond on time and although it sounds like she should have been more professional when talking with you, she was ultimately responding to a problem that YOU created. Let's be real, she most likely has 1001 other things to do than argue with you.

Yes but so what if she is tired of the OP? If it's her job to liaise with parents then she should uphold a minimum standard of professionalism while doing it. Like everyone else does when they're at work.

Be more helpful if she read the schools communication emails.

Tbh if you're as unhappy with the school as a PP has suggested it may be worth looking for another? Even slightly further afield may make your life easier if you have a better relationship with the school.

I'd write a letter to the head teacher, asking for a response from themselves and not the receptionist which you are complaining about .

A receptionist at DDs school was vile to me repeatedly and made a vile accusation about me, then lied when confronted about it.

I made a complaint, and I got an apology and never had a problem with her again.

I probably wouldn't see it as worth complaining if I didn't agree that the school was the right place for my child though, I'd probably just move (luckily havent had to, DD has only attended 3 schools and leaves next year)

The way I see it you have a few option

Find a teacher to complain to or ask for the heads email.

See how it goes but stand up for yourself if you feel she's being rude then take it further.

Leave it and just be polite without being over the top.

I can see how it's irritating that parents miss things but also it is unhelpful to be rude over it.
I'm not going to look at past posts because I feel like you just need advice over this issue.

School admin here. It's a very stressful and full on job (it's not just the Reception sit at window answering the phone that it looks like, it has a far wider remit). However, I would NEVER speak to anyone like that. I've had to deal with some very very rude parents, but it's just being professional to stay calm and be assertive with people like that. So even with very rude and complaining people, who I know to be not very nice people, I STILL wouldn't behave like your school admin, OP. No matter what the circumstances (I've been going through a v stressful few weeks personally these past few weeks and always stay professional and plaster the smile on my face even if I feel like crying inside).

Definitely complain directly to the headteacher.. They would want to know if the face of the school was behaving like a prick.

My experience of school admin/receptionist is that they are deliberately strict/blunt as they have to fend off many moans, complaints and outrageously ridiculous requests from lots of parents. Our head teacher even referred to the receptionist as the school's first defence.

Sorry OP but it's up to you to meet the deadlines set by the school and no doubt the receptionist has had hundreds of requests/questions before yours. If she's fine 80% of the time that means she only gets irate when situations (like yours) are completely avoidable.

There’s always the option of saying something like ‘I was hoping you’re ok because to be that rude I thought perhaps there was something wrong…’

“it’s just that 20 % where she’s out of line“ this wording says a lot….admin know your place. Sounds like she’s sticking to dead lines and boundaries as she has to deal with a large range and volume of issues and queries on a daily basis. You say you don’t want to be a doormat but when someone else is assertive you want to make a complaint. 🙄

Bloody hell, where do you work?!

I honestly think you ARE in fact being a doormat by letting this incident live rent-free in your head. Be a bit more resilient and accept that if you're late for something and inconvenience someone you can expect to not be treated with kid gloves. If she sent it on Tuesday and then again the day your child was sick it sounds like you had plenty of notice. Just move on and try to be more positive about the school if it's your only option - clearly the receptionist can be obnoxious but if you're more or less happy then focus on the positive.

I think an email to the Head and the Chair of Governors is in order and if they don't do anything escalate to the LEA and offstead

No way would I tolerate this

Watch Motherland for Mrs Lamb OP - might make you feel better!

Ofsted !!!! 😂😂😂😂

Hmm....not sure I QUITE agree. There is definitely a way to get the message across that a lackadaisical attitude has inconvenienced people for no good reason other than the fact that they couldn't be arsed to do something. So while I would not really show that I was irritated as such, I would explain thus, so that you get the point across:

"Right, so you need me to book a slot for you? Hmm...that's going to take quite a bit of time now, as they're all taken so I'm going to have to ask the teachers to rejig things. They've got a staff meeting after school so I will ask them after that but it will probably finish late so they'll be needing to go home so it may be tomorrow afternoon when they look at it now. It really would help us out if you were to read your Parentmail messages daily so you don't miss these important things. I know what it's like as a parent, there is so much stuff from school to read through, and I used to miss important stuff too. I find that getting into the habit of having a quick check of messages at a set time each day works for me."

etc etc. Get your point across, provide some tips to improve the flakiness, but don't be a tit in doing so.

At the end of the day, there was a policy/procedure/deadline for you to follow. You failed to follow it. Someone else was then inconvenienced and had to have the hassle of dealing with it.

Also, your child may have been sick the day before but I find it very difficult to believe that you were only alerted the day before to whatever this sign up deadline was.

People shouldn't be rude, but they are human. Having to constantly accommodate people who can't adhere to deadlines is incredibly frustrating and creates extra workload. Either way, I'd just smile and move on with your day and ensure you check messages next time.

You may have been the 20th person that day who missed the deadline, and caused her a lot of extra work. Don't assume that all it took was adding a name to a spreadsheet. Deadlines are set for good reason, she won't sit twiddling her thumbs after the deadline. School reception/admin jobs are hard. There are never enough hours in the day. They deal with all the grief, most of which is not their fault. Schools can't operate without them. They are expected to drop everything and assist disorganised parents, despite having already wasted their time sending reminders. You had two texts, and still managed to be a day late. That's on you. So, her behaviour in response to your incompetence was either terrible enough to complain, or it wasn't...

God, no! This is trivia really, in the day to day life of a school. There's always a parent who is complaining about something. Sometimes the complaint is understandable. Mostly it is a load of fussiness and overthinking things and bothering the teacher over nothing. Taking things to "the board", if you mean the board of governors, is for serious things only. eg safeguarding concern, or major complaint about the headteacher.

Honestly, if you expect that your complaint about the tone that a member of admin staff took with you would be relayed to "the board" then you are living in cloud cuckoo land. We can barely get out governors to turn up to meetings. Do you really think they want to hear about a complaint from a parent who didn't like the way the school admin officer spoke to them? 😂

I dunno.
I work in a school and our one admin (who is rushed off her feet and hasn't had a pay rise in years) is spoken to like shit daily.

I'm not saying it's right how she's spoken to you, but I'm certainly not surprised.

I'd let it go personally.