Very rude school admin, not sure what to do

[Notbeinfunnehbut]

The school admin at my child’s school is known for being quite abrupt and at times quite rude,
In fairness 80% of time she’s ok it’s just that 20 % where she’s out of line

I rang up a day late for sorting something, I did say sorry I didn’t see the message till this morning
I had a sick child off the previous day which she’s well aware of and genuinely didn’t see it
i got, no I did send it I sent it yesterday and I sent one Tuesday , I responded I didn’t suggest you didn’t send on those days I’m simply saying I didn’t see it until today, if no slots are left it is what it is,
i got told she really could have done with me ringing the day before as now it’s caused a lot of messing about for her and all the teachers ( my child only has one teacher? 😐)
and maybe I should have a think about what im
doing and actually bothering reading my messages and making sure not to waste other peoples time because I haven’t made a point of checking my messages? I said at that point very restrained (was furious 😡)
your perfectly aware I had a sick child yesterday and I apologised for the inconvenience
Continued to rant at me in a very patronising and rude manner , I did say thankyou , which I’m annoyed at wish I’d stood up for myself more
I’m not great at it , there’s parents she wouldn’t have dared do that too,
However it’s still bothering me, I can’t really complain phone or email, either as I have to get passed her first to speak to school (which she’s obviously probably aware of) so I’m just stuck with all this rage with nowhere to go,
it’s obviously indefensible behaviour I’m so angry that I apologised and the inconvenience was minor it was typing my name into an excel spreadsheet into an already available slot ,the unprofessional behaviour took up more time that the action itself , but I apologised and said thankyou I’m so annoyed at myself aswell.

Im not sure how to proceed with this, it’s not ok to speak to people like that.

No

solidarity though if your experiencing similar 😄

Think that went over OPs head

Very few school
admins are receptionists. They deal with a million things apart from answering phone calls and speaking to parents, all for around minimum wage. Stop minimising the role. I could never be one, it’s bloody hard work without having to deal with parents who can’t be arsed to read the communications that are sent out then whine because little Johnny missed out on an activity. She is probably sick and tired of you.

OP sounds like a nightmare, frankly.

Mmmm. Maybe stop minimising receptionists. Some of us are dealing with medications, very distressing conditions, and all the rest of it. Whatever the role, it's called professionalism. Also, OP should be perhaps looking at whether her behaviour was the opposite of catching more flies with honey, particularly if this is ongoing in multiple situations.

I used to put up with shit like this. I've changed a lot over the last decade. Endless self-help books, therapy, self-compassion, you name it, I've contemplated it.

Now if somebody is genuinely shocking me with their inability to hide how irritating they find my simple reasonable request, I say ''are you alright? I feel like you're excessively inconvenienced by this''. OR Whatever, you can judge.

Let them rant a bit more........... ''I feel like you're not making any attempt to hide how irritating you find what seems to me like a simple request? Are you ok??''. In the SHORT TERM they hate you but once they calm down, their subconscious files you under NOT to be fucked with as opposed to ''can tear a strip off this doormat''

When I started a new job about 9 months ago, one woman gave me an order (she is not my boss). I had her pegged already as a type who put on a false self, she went round acting the part of being really sociable but icing me totally like I was a ghost. Quite small place too. I could see the signs. So when she told me to do X, Y,Z, I said ''I'm going to pop to the bathroom first''. I did what she commanded me to do even though she isn't my boss, but I didn't run to do it.

Again,

none of that excuses her behaviour, none of it

i apologised and put no pressure on , that is sufficient

I don’t need to endlessly grovel for causing someone a very minor inconvenience

O definitely make a complaint to the head. The fact that she will see it and have to pass it up
is part of the satisfaction. I did the same
recently to a drs receptionist.

The administrator said she sent put the message twice last week and was understandably frustrated that you hadn't seen either of them.shr was just explaining hiw much extra work your late reply had created.you understandably didn't want to hear that, but to be honest she us not your servant.

''I don’t need to endlessly grovel for causing someone a very minor inconvenience''

I agree with this and we all know that in our jobs we cannot show our irritation when somebody causes us to re-do some piece of work we've already half done, or who provides us with the information we need at the last minute. We cannot let our irritation show

That is obvious surely!!

The extra work was typing my child’s name into an already empty slot in an excel spreadsheet well within the timeframe, so I.e not the last appointment not making anyone stay any later

like I previously said , that action took seconds, less time than the unprofessional rant

my 10 year old does that twice a week in maths and doesn’t get paid for it

I hadn’t thought of that 😆

Let’s have a think…. say we have 300 kids in a school

that is at least 600 parents - and you can add some step parents to that
than add a potential, say 600 grandparents and then some child minders …think of how many people ring up and ask something ?

school admin have a phenomenal job - HR, first aid, finance, logistical organisers, they deal with external agencies, supply organisers, sometimes they administer medication or sort a flooded toilet, sometimes they bet the insane phone calls that he’d teachers get - Not one day is the same and frankly when was the last time they were thanked??

sometimes they are privy to some serious situations- child protection concerns, financial worries including those of parents, stress upon senior staff, sometimes they are the ones talking to a terminally ill parent - the list is endless

then there are ‘those parents’ and even ‘those teachers’ who believe that their question about something that has been planned and communicated is the most important question of the day ( questions range from puerile to weird)

sorry your child was sick - but if several threads are negative about a school it’s time to reflect and maybe make some changes

What is my point? Starting multiple threads about

the deputy head
sports day
Senco department

and a number of others

Perhaps indicates this isn’t the school for you your children

Me too. Unless the school only has about 6 children in it then why would she remember from one day to the next who is off sick and who isn’t. She has probably fielded 20 calls that morning, some more important than others, as well as dealing with forgotten pe kit, dropped off lunchboxes, latecomers and handed in notes.She had already sent two emails which frankly is one more than some schools send.The OP has previous so the school staff probably have automatically raised eyebrows when they deal with her.

Support School Admin!

And if that is indeed the case

why is it assumed it is my fault?

Which will only confirm their already low opinion of you, so do it OP.

No assumption that “your fault”

the assumption is that this school perhaps isn’t right for you your children

Report her.

Your priorities were your sick child, not being glued to your phone checking for messages from her every few minutes.

Sounds like she was, abrupt, intimidating, obnoxious, patronising and rude.

She needs to wind her neck in and change her attitude after all you could have gone for days without enough sleep and worried about your child only to be greeted by the school guard dog.

The strange thing is though, some people seem to encounter this kind of thing all.the.time.

school can be hard to navigate school with a NT children

never mind a neurodiverse child

it’s sad that some people are so low and spiteful and misogynistic, that past threads about Senco and a class teacher (so obviously SEN related and my concerns were very valid) is being brought up in a completely unrelated thread, I haven’t mentioned it and a completely different child

message received if you are a woman and are unlucky enough to have a neurodiverse child in a not perhaps the best school but not the worst , and you dare to have valid criticisms everything you experience is your fault.

I would not (and have not said) that everything is your fault.

I think perhaps reflect on whether your approach or attitude/interactions are having an adverse impact on your experience.

It's very hard, because as a parent, of course, your focus, and you are an advocate for, your child.

But a school (including admin') has hundreds of pupils, if not thousands, plus teachers, plus faculty, that it has to advocate for. It ain't easy!

This is not in any way to excuse, or diminish, rudeness or lack of professionalism on the school admin's part.

Of course you should stick up for and fight for your child, but there's no evidence of misogyny on this thread or bashing of neurodiverse children.

Schools are responsible for hundreds of children so maybe remember yours isn't the only child at that school.

Do you know what misogyny means ?

next time this person repeats this behaviour

say

thank you so much for pointing this out, i'll bare it in mind for next time. I could do with you as my secretary, things would run like clockwork im sure