Very rude school admin, not sure what to do

[Notbeinfunnehbut]

The school admin at my child’s school is known for being quite abrupt and at times quite rude,
In fairness 80% of time she’s ok it’s just that 20 % where she’s out of line

I rang up a day late for sorting something, I did say sorry I didn’t see the message till this morning
I had a sick child off the previous day which she’s well aware of and genuinely didn’t see it
i got, no I did send it I sent it yesterday and I sent one Tuesday , I responded I didn’t suggest you didn’t send on those days I’m simply saying I didn’t see it until today, if no slots are left it is what it is,
i got told she really could have done with me ringing the day before as now it’s caused a lot of messing about for her and all the teachers ( my child only has one teacher? 😐)
and maybe I should have a think about what im
doing and actually bothering reading my messages and making sure not to waste other peoples time because I haven’t made a point of checking my messages? I said at that point very restrained (was furious 😡)
your perfectly aware I had a sick child yesterday and I apologised for the inconvenience
Continued to rant at me in a very patronising and rude manner , I did say thankyou , which I’m annoyed at wish I’d stood up for myself more
I’m not great at it , there’s parents she wouldn’t have dared do that too,
However it’s still bothering me, I can’t really complain phone or email, either as I have to get passed her first to speak to school (which she’s obviously probably aware of) so I’m just stuck with all this rage with nowhere to go,
it’s obviously indefensible behaviour I’m so angry that I apologised and the inconvenience was minor it was typing my name into an excel spreadsheet into an already available slot ,the unprofessional behaviour took up more time that the action itself , but I apologised and said thankyou I’m so annoyed at myself aswell.

Im not sure how to proceed with this, it’s not ok to speak to people like that.

Why would the receptionist know your child is sick? She is probably sick to death of parents responding late. Maybe check schools messages daily in future.

Who have you complained to in the past OP? What channel have you gone down i mean, teacher? Senco? Head? Governors?

An issue with admin staff should be taken up with head or deputy head i guess. Or your DCs head of year?

At our school you can email these staff members directly if you wish. The email addresses are on the school website.

It's your fault that you didn't check your messages, not the school's.

I'm guessing you're a frequent phoner and your school admin team have had enough of you.

Admittedly I haven't seen her other threads but what is so wrong with being that mother?

Women don't need to be passive people pleasers all the time and tbh it's about time some of the schools and their staff were held to a higher standard.

As someone else said, in any other field you'd risk losing your job if you were rude to the people you're dealing with!

I tried hard to figure out how to phrase the lynch pins thing. What I mean is that sometimes people start thinking they are rather more central to a business than they are, and get overly invested in keeping to their rules, rather than the actual business's rules.

Absolutely the role of a school admin is to help organise the school admin so it runs nice and smoothly for the school. It is not their job to be rude and belligerent to parents. (Or judgemental.) Not to their faces, not within hearing of other school users.

I had to deal with an absolute bitch of a school receptionist when my kids were little and I don’t use that word lightly. She would be selective about what parents she would accommodate and I would often be in tears after snarky unhelpful attitude from her. I wish, now I’m older and wiser, that I’d given her a mouthful at the time. Not complained - just given her both barrels of how rude and vile she was to me and asked her what her problem was. Nasty woman. No one needs that.

Email head and governors

detail any previous incidents - ask how this reflects on the school values and the relationships they want to achieve with parents

Didn't you fail to contact school that your child was off sick, OP? Did I read that right? It's pretty serious to not inform them and it can lead to them having to follow other actions.
Perhaps focus on the bits you need to do, like checking for emails from school every day and reporting sickness immediately?
You might find things run a bit smoother then.

In my experience some school admin staff can be very difficult not just to parents but also the teachers who work there. They can be very judgmental. That said there are some lovely support staff who are supportive. Sadly I feel that if the "support" staff are like this and have a reputation for this then they have been allowed to behave in this way and therefore there is no point in complaining

OP. What's with the obsession with 'not being a doormat'? Do you think you should have berated the receptionist for being rude? Not said sorry? What? if you've enough time on your hands to escalate this then go for it but what is your desired outcome?

We all meet grumpy people now and then, just put it down to her having a bad day and move on. Honestly, if that's all you have to worry about (and given your very frequent griping about the school) maybe you just enjoy the grumbling. Make the most of it, and next time you feel someone's being rude to you after you've done something to annoy them just say 'I've said sorry, can we please move on now' or words to that effect - and really do move on!

She shouldn't have spoken to you like that, but the whole thing was avoidable. If you know your school communicates by email/text then it is your responsibility to check daily. Your child is just one child out of hundreds. She isn't necessarily going to remember who all is off sick at any given moment. Plus, a sick child doesn't stop you checking your messages.

The way you proceed is by not giving her the opportunity to berate you again.

The first bit of advice I received when embarking on teacher training was to always stay on the right side of the school admin. 10+ years of teaching has taught me that they are mostly sent from hell to breathe fire upon the weary masses - parents and staff alike. Once they are done with this; they write passive aggressive notes about toilet paper.

Report to your child teacher
Report to school
You were polite, there is no call for rudeness.

Ask the school for more warning if something needs an urgent reply, at least two weeks….you’re school are not giving enough time.

Life is short and we're going to be dead for a very long time - drop your attitude and be a bit nicer, and see what happens 😊

I voted YABU but only because you're not prepared to speak to the head about it just because you'd have to walk past her!!

Come on, OP! She's hardly a deadly troll blocking your path! She's a gobshite who needs telling to wind her bloody neck in!

You were probably the twentieth person to ring up and try to book in a parents evening slot after the deadline, or whatever it was. So you got the fallout.
It's no big deal, she's not your boss but equally you're not a client.
Just smile, nod, say thanks for sorting it, and you both get on with your day.

What? I rang up the previous day, I never mentioned anything of the sort

and even if I had, it’s no excuse

it is sad that that AIBU has become such a cesspit of sad , misogynistic spiteful people

thanks to the helpful posters

im entitled to have opinions on things I don’t need to be a doormat people pleaser it’s not healthy because ppl take advantage , that’s perfectly fine, lacking healthy outlets of frustration leads to behaviour like the receptionists.

Thanks I needed that
actually meant phone wise but still valid !

No she shouldn't have been rude, absolutely not. And you get nowhere being rude to people, I am a school secretary and I'm the kill with kindness sort.

But parents who don't read school comms are a pain in the arse. I know you had a sick child but I can't see that stopping you reading your emails. I'll lay a bet you were on here or Twitter or whatever on that day. And if you're a repeat offender in this area we will want to throttle you, we just won't say it to your face.

I don't know where you got misogynistic, from this thread.

Do make sure you are not indulging in venting your frustrations on people you shouldn't, as you say this receptionist was doing.

Unhelpful. It’s not the op with ‘attitude’ - namaste, peace and love does not work with bullies unfortunately.

im convinced some people haven’t actually read the post at all

Where's the misogyny?

Is her name Mrs Lamb?

Thankyou!!!!

better articulated than me